Sheldon: Put that down. That's not a toy.
Missy: Sure it is. Choo choo.

Sheldon: Mother-in-laws are always held in low regard by the father. It rarely leads to a breakup of the family.
Missy: He's right. Fred and Wilma are still happily married.

[Missy plays with Sheldon's train whistle]
Sheldon: Great, now I have to throw that out.

George Sr.: I don't want this woman in my house anymore.
Mary: She is my mother.
George Sr.: She is the devil.

George Sr.: That wasn't the recipe. You looked me in the eye, and you lied to me.
Mary: Oh, Mom.
Meemaw: You broke into my home and tried to steal it.
Mary: Oh, George.
George Sr.: You told her we went over there?
Mary: [GASPS] Oh, George Jr.
George Jr.: I didn't say nothing. I was cool.
Missy: I am loving this.

George Sr.: Connie, you evil bitch!

Mary: This Cafe Du Monde coffee is very good.
Meemaw: They make it with chicory.
Mary: And what does it do to the brisket?
Meemaw: Oh, I have no idea.
Mary: Then why did you send George all the way to New Orleans?
Meemaw: Well, they don't sell this around here.

Adult Sheldon: Finally, the cooking began. 14 hours of cooking. And basting. And spritzing. And tending to the fire.
George Sr.: Oh Rest, my darling. Rest.

Adult Sheldon: Then back home, he applied the spice rub with such erotic tenderness, it made my mother a little jealous.

George Sr.: Could you grind my root for me? I-I'm-a I'm-a rub it on brisket.

Adult Sheldon: For the spice rub, Meemaw had him drive to New Orleans to buy ground coffee from Cafe Du Monde, and seven ounces of something called "holy ghost root" from a voodoo woman named Madam Laveau.

Butcher: Can I help you?
George Sr.: Matter of fact, you can. You pull them all together I need 12 pounds of prime Angus with a medium deckle, ideally slaughtered in the spring, no later than mid-June.

Meemaw: What a dope.

Meemaw: Would this change your feelings?
George Sr.: Is that it?
Meemaw: The Holy Grail.
George Sr.: What changed your mind?
Meemaw: You not going to the picnic today, that hurt Mary and the twins. I cannot have that on my heart.
George Sr.: Is that so?
Meemaw: Absolutely.
George Sr.: Look me in the eye and tell me this is the actual recipe.
Meemaw: George, what you have in your hand is the exact step-by-step instructions on how to make my brisket. I have never written it down until tonight because I was afraid someone might steal it. But I'm entrusting this to you, and I hope that someday, when the time is right, you will see fit to share it with one of your children.
George Sr.: Connie, I don't know what to say.
Meemaw: Don't call me Connie. Call me Mom.
George Sr.: [CHUCKLES] Thanks, Mom.
Meemaw: You're welcome, son.

Meemaw: Hey.
George Sr.: What do you want?
Meemaw: Don't be that way. I brought you a cold one.
George Sr.: Thanks. I still don't like you.

George Sr.: I'm sorry, I-I just needed a break from your mother.
Mary: Yeah, well, you took a break from your family. How long is this feud between you two gonna go on?
George Sr.: That's up to her.
Mary: You are both such stubborn donkey butts! [Missy laughing] Missy, go to bed!
Missy: You don't know it's me.

Mary: Just so you know, Sheldon and Missy won the three-legged race because she told him a bee was chasing them, and you missed it.

Meemaw: He thought I wrote it down. What a dope.

George Sr.: Be cool.
George Jr.: I'm cool. You be cool.
[George Sr. fidgeting in his leather chair, making a lot of noise, accidentally knocks something over.]
George Jr.: Real cool.

George Jr.: Did you know she puts vanilla extract in her whipped cream?
George Sr.: I did not.
George Jr.: Quarter teaspoon.
George Sr.: Georgie?
George Jr.: Yeah?
George Sr.: We're looking for brisket!
George Jr.: Cranky.