Meemaw: What do you got?
Sheldon: It's simple. We argue under Article 46-B of the Texas Penal Code that you're unfit to stand trial due to mental incompetence.
Meemaw: You-you want to tell 'em I'm crazy?
Sheldon: Yes. And keep this look. It really bolsters our case.

Meemaw: Look who came to visit.
Dale: Oh, great.
Sheldon: You will think it's great when you hear the brilliant legal strategy I have to keep Meemaw out of prison.
Dale: I thought you were a science guy.
Sheldon: I am, but sometimes I like to spread my wings. [makes winged gesture with hands]
Dale: Oh, okay. [mimics Sheldon's gesture] Uh, proceed.

Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] What?
Sheldon: Oh, my, you look terrible. [covers his nose and mouth with his inner elbow] Are you sick?
Meemaw: Of life, yes.
Sheldon: Oh, good. [lowers elbow] That's not contagious.
Meemaw: Get in here. The light's killing me.
Sheldon: You smell like alcohol. Yucky.

Georgie: Morning. Have a seat.
Mandy: Georgie made us breakfast. Isn't that nice?
Audrey: Oh, well, look at that. Thank you.
Georgie: My pleasure.
Audrey: I guess I'll just have to run to the supermarket later and get some more eggs for that cake I was going to make.
Georgie: Oh, no problem. I-I can go to the grocery store.
Audrey: Oh. Apparently we're not job-hunting today.
Jim: Oh, speaking of jobs. [off Audrey's look] Good luck to you, son.

Adult Sheldon: I had a plan to avoid using the porta-potty. I just had to get through the night until I could get back to my dorm in the morning. I lowered my overall liquid intake, skipped my pre-bed chamomile tea, and gave my bladder a stern talking to. My bladder did not listen.
Sheldon: [exhales] I can do this.
Adult Sheldon: My body may have been weak, but my mind was strong. I just needed to think about this situation in a different way. Instead of a porta-potty, it was a TARDIS. Instead of Sheldon, I was Doctor Who, whose urine was ready to travel through space and time. For those who aren't familiar, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. This one, however, was smellier on the inside.
Sheldon: I can't do this.
Adult Sheldon: I'm not proud of this, but that night, I relieved myself inside Billy Sparks' chicken coop. Until my wife, those hens were the only females I ever exposed myself to. [chickens clucking] I guess I could have left that part out. Oh, well.

Jim: And for your information, those little backroom slot machines are all over town.
Audrey: How do you know?
Jim: People tell me stuff. [off Audrey's look] I... I just got... I got one of them faces.

Georgie: And what I want is to take care of you and CeeCee and maybe someday a Georgie Junior Junior.
Mandy: You mean George the Third.
Georgie: No, that's too fancy. He'd get his ass kicked.
Mandy: Mm, yeah.

Audrey: The good news is, with Amanda back in the house, I can help her come to her senses.
Jim: Good plan. Hey, uh, in the meantime, I was thinking of putting Georgie to work at the store.
Audrey: There you go, watering the crabgrass.
Jim: It's not charity, all right? He'll work.
Audrey: He's a criminal, Jim.

Mandy: We're gonna be okay, right?
Georgie: Oh, of course.
Mandy: How can you be so sure?
Georgie: Hey, you didn't just marry a pretty boy like Danny over here.
Mandy: Donny.
Georgie: Yeah, him. You know, I'm the hardest worker you'll ever meet. When I see something I want, I don't stop till I get it.
Mandy: You are relentless.

Audrey: I called it. I said no good would come of this marriage.
Jim: Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot. You said it at the wedding. But, uh, still, you know, I... I think you could be a little nicer to him.
Audrey: Sure, I can also go out in the backyard and water the crabgrass.

Mandy: I'm sorry about my mom.
Georgie: You kidding? We got a double bed and an indoor bathroom. She can spit in my Corn Flakes, and I'm a happy camper.
Mandy: Good, 'cause she might.
Georgie: Don't worry. I'll win her over.
Mandy: She thinks you ruined my life.
Georgie: So? You thought I ruined your life, and you married me.

Georgie: Who's that guy?
Mandy: It's Donny Osmond.
Georgie: Never heard of him.
Mandy: You know, Donny and Marie?
Georgie: Sometimes I forget how old you are.
Mandy: Thank you.

Audrey: Now, Georgie, if the police come for you, what should we tell them?
Mandy: Mom.
Audrey: I'm sorry. I've never harbored a fugitive before.
Mandy: Mom!

Georgie: I can't thank y'all enough.
Jim: Oh, don't be silly. Stay as long as you need.
Mandy: It's only temporary.
Audrey: Whatever. We're just thrilled to have you and the baby here.
Georgie: And me, too, right?
Audrey: Yes, you'll be here, too.

Missy: Is there a light inside?
George: No.
Georgie: Trust me, that's a good thing.
George: We'll just tie a flashlight to the handle.
Mandy: Huh. I always wondered what rock bottom would look like.
George: Come on, at least check it out.
[After George pats on the door of the portable toilet, Mandy sighs and looks inside]
Mandy: I checked, I'm out. [door closes]