Mary: You smoke marijuana?
Sheldon: Mom!
Libby: No, ma'am.
Tam: Just say no. [Mary shoots him an unimpressed look]

George: Oh.
Georgie: Oh, what?
George: You didn't mention she was black.
Georgie: Was I supposed to?
George: No, 'course not.
Georgie: Then why bring it up?
George: It just wasn't what I was expecting.
Georgie: What were you expecting?
George: It's a big school. Why are you right here?
Georgie: They've got some books in there about Martin Luther King. Maybe you should go read one.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Mary: I don't want my little boy in some car with a teenager behind the wheel.
George: All high school kids drive.
Mary: Yeah? Well, I don't like it. Would you let me get in a car with a stranger when I was young?
Meemaw: Well, nobody ever asked you out, so it didn't really matter.

Adult Sheldon: It's called perfect cleavage when gypsum separates this cleanly. I was so proud of Tam for not making an immature cleavage joke.
Tam: Look at me, I'm touching cleavage.
Adult Sheldon: Until he made one.

Adult Sheldon: Whoever said the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach did not consider his tiny bladder.

Adult Sheldon: I've often been accused of being stubborn and willful, but sometimes it works like gangbusters.

Adult Sheldon: And, like Mother Nature's piñata, geodes contained a secret surprise inside. But you didn't have to suffer through a birthday party to enjoy it.

Adult Sheldon: Anger is an ugly emotion. Unbridled rage even more so. And when it bubbled up inside me, I channeled it the only way I knew how. I cleaned the house like a man possessed.

George: Sheldon, I need to get in there.
Sheldon: Poop at Meemaw's!

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, sometimes a person can be both incredibly intelligent and full of baloney.

Adult Sheldon: What was happening was, like many men before me, I was being seduced by the exotic world of geology.

Adult Sheldon: We searched for tektites in a nearby ravine. Tektites are natural glass formed during meteorite impacts. They also bear a close resemblance to raccoon feces, so I wisely adopted a "no touching tektites" policy.

Georgie: You know spying on kids is creepy.
George: I wasn't spying on kids, I was s-spying on your brother.
Georgie: Why won't you just go inside?
George: Well, then, it wouldn't be spying, now would it?

[Sheldon is throwing laundry in the dryer]
Mary: What am I supposed to do with this?
Meemaw: Send him over to my house before he runs out of gas.