Episode Recap
When Dale arrives at the laundromat, Meemaw thanks him for coming and leads him to the gambling room in the back. Meemaw says it’s about the money she owes him after being bailed out of jail. When Dale asks if she has the money, Meemaw says yes and no. She has it, but she doesn't want to give it to him. Instead, she wants to use the money to expand her gambling room into the video store that’s closing down. Video store in the front, video poker in the back. Meemaw plans to get the machines in Biloxi. Dale can’t believe she didn’t learn her lesson after getting arrested at the border. Meemaw says she did: don’t smuggle contraband with her idiot grandson. Meemaw explains there’s nothing illegal about moving video poker machines. "Until you plug them in," Dale adds. Meemaw reminds Dale he wanted to travel the country in an RV, arguing this is just like that, only exciting. Dale points out they could go to jail. “That’s the exciting part,” Meemaw responds.
At the university, Sheldon calls his mother on the payphone and explains he has an 8 am class tomorrow. After he asks if he can spend the night in his dorm, Mary tells Sheldon that’s fine. Sheldon proceeds to lists the reasons why he should be trusted to do this, even though Mary has already agreed. Mary insists it's fine and that she trusts him. Sheldon is determined to continue with his list, so Mary hangs up. “Who hangs up on a list?” Sheldon wonders.
In the Coopers’ kitchen, George asks Mary what's wrong with Sheldon. Mary replies that nothing is wrong; Sheldon just wants to spend the night in his dorm. George is pleasantly surprised she agreed. Mary argues that Sheldon is old enough for an overnight stay and suggests it might be nice for them to have some alone time together. After George asks where Missy is, Mary explains she's at dinner with a friend. George likes the idea of an empty house.
When Georgie surprises Mandy at the diner while she's busy waiting tables, she unhappily asks what he wants. Georgie mentions he heard Meemaw will be away for a few days. Mandy knows and says she's fine with it. After Georgie says he's worried about her being alone in that big house, Mandy insists he shouldn't be. Georgie offers to swing by tonight with takeout, but Mandy tells him not to bother. As he gets ready to leave, Georgie kisses his hand and places it on Mandy's belly to say goodbye to their baby. When Georgie asks if she wants a kiss too, Mandy says no.
When Missy arrives home to an apparently empty house, she calls out to see if anyone's there. From the bedroom, Mary tells Missy she’s home early. Missy points out it's 7:00. "Is it?", Mary asks. After Missy questions whether her mother is sleeping, Mary says yes. Missy then asks where her dad is. After a moment’s silence, George says he's there too. Missy groans, "Ugh." As George tries to explain, "We were both just really tired.", Missy begs them to stop talking.
In his university dorm room, Sheldon prepares to tuck himself into bed. After hearing noise outside, he investigates and finds music playing and a student skateboarding down the corridor. Sheldon says this childishness cannot continue. He goes to his resident advisor's dorm to tattle. As Tommy opens the door, Sheldon notices smoke billowing out from his room. "Is your room on fire?" Sheldon asks. "No," Tommy says. Sheldon points out he sees smoke. "Okay," Tommy responds. Sheldon explains there are people skateboarding and playing loud music in the hallways. When Tommy wonders what Sheldon wants him to do about it, Sheldon reminds him that as the resident advisor, it's his job to enforce the rules. Tommy promises to get right on it. Reassured, Sheldon walks away, saying, "The system works."
Later, Sheldon is kept awake in his bed as the music continues outside at the late time of 10:25 PM. “I’m going to be so cranky tomorrow.”, Sheldon tells himself.
As Meemaw drives a U-Haul with Dale in the passenger seat, he asks how she heard about these poker machines. She replies that she knows a guy who used to own a riverboat casino. "Used to?" Dale questions. Meemaw admits the guy may be dead. "Dead?", Dale asks. Meemaw states he might not be. "Exciting, huh?" Dale says no, it's upsetting. She points out that he's been in the sporting goods business a long time. Has he never sold a bunch of shoulder pads that fell off the back of a truck? No, Dale says he buys them from a reputable company. "Boring," Meemaw responds.
As Sheldon sleeps on a bench in the university corridor, President Hagemeyer walks around the corner and stops in her tracks as she sees him. She tries to back away, but Sheldon wakes up and tells her he could smell her shampoo. As they go into her office, Hagemeyer asks how long he’s been there. "All night," he replies. "Why?" Sheldon wonders if she’s familiar with Arkham Asylum from the Batman comics. She says no. Sheldon explains it’s a madhouse, just like his dormitory when the sun goes down. Hagemeyer points out she’s the president of the university and doesn’t deal with noise complaints. That’s what R.A.s are for. Sheldon says he went to the R.A., but it didn’t help. He argues he should be made the resident advisor for his block. Before he can list his reasons, Hagemeyer agrees. Nonetheless, Sheldon starts to reel off his list of reasons why.
At the Coopers', George is pleased with the breakfast Mary prepared: eggs and pancakes. Mary says that's what a lumberjack gets for "chopping all that wood." George jokes that he'll be Paul Bunyan, and Mary can be his babe, the blue fox. As they kiss, Missy walks into the kitchen. "Ugh. Still?" she groans and asks what's going on with them. George says sometimes married couples kiss. "On TV maybe," Missy says, "but not here." After George asks how she thinks she came into this world, Missy tells her parents they are freaking her out.
In a nondescript warehouse, Dennis shows Meemaw and Dale the machines. Meemaw says they look good, but Dale wonders how they know the machines work. Meemaw tells him to be cool. When Meemaw asks if they can test a few out, Dennis wants to see the cash first. Dennis turns around, and Dale drops his jeans to reveal bundles of cash strapped to his legs. Meemaw takes out the bundles, worth $20K, and shows them to Dennis, who then plugs in the machines. As the machines come to life with lights and sound effects, Meemaw says it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever seen. “Really? Well, I just took my pants off,” a deflated Dale says.
In the corridor of Bower Hall, Sheldon uses a bullhorn to announce to his fellow students that he’s their new R.A. “The age of chaos is over. I repeat, the age of chaos is over. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with the dormitory rules posted on the bulletin board. Ignorance of these rules is no excuse, and violators will be…” A tired-looking student emerges from his dorm room in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, grabs Sheldon’s bullhorn, and takes it into his dorm. As Sheldon shouts through his hands that “Unauthorized use of my bullhorn is forbidden,” the student uses the bullhorn to tell him to shut up.
Mandy is annoyed when Georgie turns up at Meemaw’s house. “Oh, good. You’re here,” Mandy says sarcastically. After Georgie mentions he’s got a video showing the miracle of childbirth, Mandy thinks that sounds awful. Luckily, Georgie also picked up “Look Who’s Talking.” Mandy wants to make it clear that if Georgie is trying to make this a date night, he shouldn’t bother. Georgie insists he didn’t say anything about a date. This is just about having dinner and watching a movie. “Nothing romantic. Just two future parents watching the miracle of childbirth or a movie that got two thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.”
In President Hagemeyer's office, Sheldon finishes airing his complaints by mentioning they also defaced his rule sheet with a drawing of testicles. President Hagemeyer stifles a laugh, calling it immature. Sheldon argues that being made R.A. isn't enough to command respect. “I need a physical symbol of my authority, like the way a king had a scepter.” Hagemeyer asks if he wants a scepter, but Sheldon worries it would be used against him. He suggests a badge, so he could be like a Texas ranger patrolling the dormitory halls. Hagemeyer says these are all wonderful ideas, but suggests an official hand-written letter from her desk asserting Sheldon’s power. As she writes, Sheldon is disappointed in her sloppy handwriting but appreciates the text and the use of the word “bestow.”
When Missy arrives home, she finds George and Mary dancing hand in hand in the living room. “Nope,” Missy says as she walks straight back out.
As Meemaw and Dale drive home in the dark, Dale says that was exciting. For a while, it felt like they were Bonnie and Clyde. At the risk of being more Bonnie than Clyde, Dale asks where they stand in their relationship. After Meemaw points out he broke up with her, Dale admits he may have rethought the situation. “So you were wrong?” she asks. Dale doesn’t want to say those exact words, but Meemaw keeps pressing. Eventually, Dale concedes he was wrong and asks again where they stand. Meemaw has more on her mind, having noticed an orange car following them since they left the warehouse. When she speeds up to see what happens, the orange car accelerates too. “We’re being followed,” Dale says.
At the university, Sheldon knocks on a student's door as rock music plays. "Open up. It's the R.A.," he commands. When Bobby opens the door, Sheldon says it's quiet hours and he has to turn off the music. "Says who?" Bobby asks. Sheldon replies that he's the R.A., figuring Bobby didn't hear him over the music. As Bobby goes to close the door, Sheldon pulls out his hand-written letter from President Hagemeyer. "Maybe this will convince you. Her cursive is questionable, but trust me, my authority is not." Bobby rips up the letter, throws the pieces in Sheldon's face, and closes the door. Sheldon says the joke's on him because he has Scotch tape.
When they stop at a roadside diner, Meemaw and Dale say they can’t see Dennis anywhere. Relieved, Dale admits he's starting to feel the excitement again. Meemaw chuckles, saying that’s how danger works. Dale compares it to a rollercoaster. Their laughter is interrupted when Dennis sits down at their table, saying, "Isn't this a coincidence."
When Georgie opens the door at Meemaw’s house, Missy tells him things are weird at home and asks if she can hang out there. Georgie doesn’t want his sister intruding on their “date” night, but a relieved Mandy tells Missy to come in. As Missy takes Georgie’s seat on the couch, he tells Mandy he’s been nothing but nice and doesn’t know why she’s treating him like this. Mandy says Georgie ruined her life; is that a good enough reason? As they start to argue, Mandy says she doesn’t want to do this in front of Missy. However, Missy is actually enjoying it since this is the sort of home life she’s used to.
As Mary and George start to get intimate in the bedroom, she tells him to lock the door, just in case. After Mary mentions she has a crazy idea, George is intrigued. Mary suggests they make a baby. “You're kidding, right?” George asks. Mary thinks it might be fun to start over. “Fun?” George questions, “What house have you been living in?” Mary is serious. She and George have been getting along well, and she has more time on her hands now, so why not take advantage? George points out she has a grandchild coming that she could take care of. “I'll tell you what your problem is. You got kicked out of your church, your kids are grown up, you're feeling sorry for yourself, and you think a baby will solve the problem.” As Mary stays silent, George asks her to say something. Mary says he makes her so mad and storms off. George wonders where she’s going, saying they can still do it mad.
Back at the diner, Meemaw asks Dennis what he wants. He noticed their truck has Texas plates and mentions it's illegal to operate poker machines in Texas. Dennis says he’s not a cop, just a guy who could call the police if they don't come to an arrangement. As the waitress takes their order, Meemaw excuses herself to go to the bathroom, leaving Dale to handle the food order and talk to Dennis. After the waitress leaves, Dale mentions this is his first shakedown. Dennis would rather call it a business arrangement, but Dale says he's never experienced anything like this in all his years in business. Through the window, Dale is surprised to see Meemaw in the parking lot. As Dennis asks about Dale's business, Dale sees Meemaw slashing Dennis's tires. Dale keeps talking as Meemaw takes out all four tires. When she's done, Dale stands up. Dennis wonders where he's going. Dale apologizes before punching Dennis in the face, knocking him out of his chair.
As Sheldon tries to reassemble President Hagemeyer’s note in his dorm room, there’s a knock on the door. When he opens it, Bobby and Tommy are there with other students. After Bobby complains there’s no hot water, Sheldon says there is for rule followers. Tommy argues he can’t turn off the hot water, but Sheldon responds, “If you want the benefits of civilization, you have to behave in a civilized manner. The decision is yours.” Cut to Sheldon taped to the hallway wall as rock music plays again. Sheldon says he doesn’t need a pen and paper to take names. A student skateboards by. As Sheldon calls out to demand his name, another student covers Sheldon’s mouth with tape.
