Episode Recap
In the hallway of city hall, Georgie, Mandy, CeeCee, Meemaw and Dale wait for the ceremony to begin. Georgie jokes that in a few minutes, CeeCee will be legitimate, offending Mandy. Meemaw offers to take hold of CeeCee so Mandy can hit Georgie. Mary bursts into the corridor, with an out-of-breath George following behind her. As Mandy wonders who told them, Meemaw admits it was her, saying Mandy can’t hit her because she’s holding the baby. Mary knows they’re mad at her, but she asks to be part of this wedding. After Mandy says they can be part of the wedding, a clerk calls for “Cooper-McAllister”. Audrey shouts to wait as she runs down the corridor, with a panting Jim following behind. Meemaw insists it wasn’t her this time. After George admits he called Jim, the pair of them relate over the intense run to get there. When Audrey asks to be part of this, Mandy checks with Georgie, who says they’re thinking the same thing. Mandy tells her parents they can stay.
Inside the officiant’s office, Jim expresses disappointment that there isn’t an aisle for him to walk Mandy down. Mandy asks the official to hold on as the two of them stop out of the room and walk back in, arm-in-arm. Sitting at his desk, Lyndon, the officiant, begins the ceremony. Meemaw asks him to show some respect and stand up. “One of those”, he mutters. “George Marshall Cooper Jr., do you take Amanda Elizabeth McAllister to be your lawfully wedded wife?” I do. “Amanda Elizabeth McAllister, do you take George Marshall Cooper Jr. to be your lawfully wedded husband?” I do. “By the power vested in me by the great state of Texas, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” The families applaud as Georgie and Mandy share a kiss.
As the families gather around a table at a locomotive-themed Italian restaurant, Georgie is surprised they gave them the “train car.” Mandy explains her father slipped “the conductor” five bucks. When Jim suggests ordering a couple “buckets of spaghetti” for the table, George offers to go halfsies. Audrey elbows Jim, who then insists they’ve got it covered. She points out that they didn’t pay for a wedding, so they can cover some spaghetti in a bucket. Dale offers to help George out, but George insists this is between him and Jim. Missy encourages her dad to let Jim pay, saying, “We’re poor”, which Mary refutes. Audrey insists it wouldn’t matter either way, but Mary is keen to reiterate that they’re not poor. Meemaw stands up to deliver a toast. “Your relationship started out with lies and deceit, which usually happens later on in marriage.”, she begins. Dale wonders where she’s going with this. “But you two got it out of the way right up front. So I think the odds are in your favor… for having a lifetime of love and happiness.” Everyone clinks their glasses as Meemaw toasts Georgie, Mandy and CeeCee.
“Hello,” Sheldon says as he stands near the table with Dr. Linkletter. Mary thanks Linkletter for bringing Sheldon. When Georgie asks Linkletter if he’s hungry, he explains he has a half-can of tuna waiting at home, but what the hell. They both sit down at the table. “So, you and my brother got married and no one invited me?”, Sheldon asks Mandy. She apologizes, explaining it was a last-minute thing. Sheldon clarifies that he’s actually thanking her. “I hope that, someday, my sister won't invite me to her wedding.”, he adds. Missy assures him she won’t. Jim returns to the table with the buckets of spaghetti, telling everyone to “grab a shovel and dig in.” As everyone starts serving themselves, Linkletter remarks that he spent the summer in Italy once. “Bringing back memories?”, Georgie asks. “No”, he responds.
Audrey clinks her glass to get everyone’s attention. “Amanda, Georgie, since your father and I didn't get to give you a proper wedding, we'd like to pay for a honeymoon.”, she announces. When Mary quietly asks George if they should offer to split it, he shakes his head. “Mr. McAllister, really appreciate it, but that's not necessary”, Georgie tells his new father-in-law. Mandy wonders where they’re going. “What would you say to an all-expenses-paid weekend at Dollywood?”, Audrey asks. “Shut up”, Missy exclaims, adding, “I’m definitely getting married.” Mandy thanks her parents, while Georgie says that’s amazing. Mary offers to watch the baby while they’re away. “Or me, the one who just paid for your honeymoon”, Audrey suggests. Mandy reminds them they’re both still on probation after baptizing CeeCee behind her back. She doesn’t want to come home and find someone’s arranged an exorcism. Mandy asks Meemaw if she’ll do it. Meemaw says she would love to, but Dale points out it's his house. Doesn’t he get a say? “No”, Meemaw responds. “I don’t get a say”, Dale repeats.
At Dale’s house, Meemaw is holding CeeCee while Dale eats cereal and watches TV. Meemaw says she needs to go and open the gambling room. When she asks if he can watch CeeCee for an hour, Dale explains, “I just had coffee and a bowl of Raisin Bran. Next hour is spoken for.” Meemaw tells him he could have just said no. “I’m trying to keep the romance alive”, he replies.
As they drive to Dollywood, Mandy suggests they look at wedding rings while they’re in Tennessee. When Georgie wonders whether they sell them at Dollywood, Mandy remarks that she would rather not buy her ring from the same place they get corn dogs. Georgie points out in all the rush, they never discussed whether she’d take his last name. Mandy asks if it’s important to him. “I don't know, I'd kind of like people to know we're a family”, he says. “You know, the Coopers. Georgie and Mandy Cooper. I'd go to a barbecue at their house”, Georgie jokes. “Well, why don't you take my name?”, Mandy proposes. Georgie insists he’s trying to have a serious conversation and she’s making jokes. “Why is it a joke?”, Mandy asks. Georgie argues that it might fly in New York City, but in Texas, he’d get his ass kicked. “Maybe we should move to New York City”, Mandy suggests. Georgie retorts that there are some things you just don’t joke about.
In the darkened gambling room, Meemaw talks to CeeCee as she turns the machines on. “And the thing you need to know about slot machines is that they provide the house with a 17% edge. And that... is a whole lot of edge for Meemaw and your daddy.”, she explains. When Meemaw glances at one of the CCTV cameras, she sees two cop cars out back with four police officers. “Ooh, that ain't good”, she remarks. Meemaw quickly rushes with CeeCee in her stroller through the laundromat towards the front door. When a female customer tries to ask a question, Meemaw claims she doesn’t work there. Out on the street, Meemaw calmly pushes CeeCee's stroller up the sidewalk. When a police siren wails, Meemaw tries to pick up the pace. Over the bullhorn, a police officer calls out, “Connie Tucker? Please stop running.”
In the police station bullpen, Officer Gilroy plays Peekaboo with CeeCee. When Dale arrives, Meemaw complains it took him long enough. Dale says he’s old and had to go to the bathroom. When Dale asks why Meemaw is handcuffed, Officer Gilroy explains she’s a flight risk. Meemaw insists she was just taking CeeCee for a stroll. Dale asks about bail, but Officer Gilroy says they won’t know until Monday since the judge is out of town, gone fishing for the weekend. Meemaw wonders if she’s going to be sitting there all weekend. Officer Gilroy explains she’ll be going into a cell, where all the bad people go. Meemaw asks Dale to take CeeCee home with him. Dale wonders why they wouldn’t ask Mary to take her. “The last thing I want is for her to know about this”, Meemaw says. Dale asks if there’s anything he should bring her. “Yeah, a cake with a file in it”, Meemaw jokes. As he takes hold of CeeCee’s stroller, Dale asks Officer Gilroy if he can give “the flight risk” a kiss. “That’s up to her”, Officer Gilroy replies. “I’m good”, Meemaw tells Dale.
As their journey continues, Mandy tells Georgie that at the next stop she’ll phone to check on CeeCee. Georgie insists she’s fine, reassuring her that CeeCee is with his meemaw. Mandy admits she’s probably worrying over nothing. Elsewhere, Officer Gilroy leads Meemaw to her cell. She asks if that beautiful baby is her granddaughter. “Great-granddaughter”, Meemaw clarifies. Officer Gilroy says she’s never locked up a great-grandmother before. “Well, isn’t it your lucky day”, Meemaw remarks dryly.
At the Cooper house, George and Missy are watching TV while Sheldon studies at the kitchen table. When the phone rings, George shouts for Sheldon to answer it. “187 IQ and I’m a receptionist”, Sheldon mutters to himself as he walks to the phone. “Cooper residence”, Sheldon answers, “Hello, Mr. Ballard. He's here. May I tell him what this is concerning? I may not? Very well.” After Sheldon tells his dad it’s Dale, George picks up the phone next to the couch. “Which you could've done to begin with”, Sheldon mutters under his breath. As George talks to Dale on the phone, he says, “You're kidding. Till Monday?” Missy wonders what’s going on. “Well, is there anything I can do? Yeah, I know a couple lawyers.”, George continues. Missy wonders who needs a lawyer. From the kitchen, still on the line, Sheldon announces that Meemaw’s in jail. After George tells him to hang up, Missy goes to the kitchen to talk to Sheldon. Missy asks why their meemaw’s in jail. “I'm not sure. Some kind of room got shut down.”, he replies. “Oh, the gambling room”, Missy says without surprise. Sheldon is confused. “Yeah, in the back of the laundromat”, Missy adds. “Isn’t that illegal?”, Sheldon questions. “Yeah, that's why she's in jail.”, Missy points out. Back in the den, George chuckles as he hears Meemaw tried to run from the police.
At Dale’s house, CeeCee cries as Dale plays the guitar and sings “Tom Dooley”. He admits it’s a sad song and tries another equally violent song, “Delia’s Gone”. Finally, he plays a third song, “Shake It on Down”. As CeeCee coos, Dale declares, “That’s the one.” His jam session is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Dale opens the door to Mary, who has heard about her mother’s arrest. When Mary asks how her mother’s doing, Dale insists Meemaw’s a tough old bird. Dale is upset when Mary says she’ll take CeeCee off his hands, saying the two of them are having such a good time. “Dale”, Mary says sternly. “She likes me”, he says. “Dale”, she repeats. “Oh. Fine. You get the baby, I'll grab her Binky”, Dale tells her.
As they drive along, Georgie has a question for Mandy: “You think CeeCee's gonna be an only child?” Mandy isn’t sure, saying she will be for a while. Why, she asks. Georgie explains that since they’re man and wife now, they’ve got to make plans. Mandy jokes that she’s almost back in her old jeans, so it can wait. Georgie says he enjoyed having a brother and sister growing up. Didn’t she enjoy having a brother? “Eh”, Mandy says, admitting she used to pick on her younger brother, which made him cry a lot. Georgie says that’s what he did to Sheldon. Doesn’t she want CeeCee to have that? Mandy tells Georgie her plans include more than just having more kids. She wants a career. Georgie insists he supports that. Maybe even going back to school, Mandy adds. Georgie describes that as a curveball but is okay with it, as long as he doesn’t have to go back to school as well. “Oh, no, sweetheart”, Mandy assures him. “Thank you”, Georgie replies, relieved.
When Dale answers his door, it’s Audrey. “Alice, isn’t it?”, he asks. Audrey corrects him. Dale asks what he can do for her. “I came to visit my granddaughter”, she explains. Dale informs her CeeCee’s not there. Audrey asks where she is. “Well, as they say in Canada, she's ‘oot and aboot.’”, Dale replies cryptically.
In Missy’s bedroom, Sheldon tells her that, if he’s to understand it correctly, his grandmother has been running a criminal enterprise. “Cool, huh?”, Missy responds nonchalantly. “No, it is most certainly not cool”, Sheldon argues. “On the one hand, people need to pay for their crimes. On the other, if Meemaw's in prison, who's gonna smell like Bengay and kiss me on the head?”, he worries. Missy reassures him that their grandmother’s old, so they’re not gonna lock her up for a long time. Sheldon hopes she’s right. He asks if there are any other family secrets he’s unaware of. “Actually, yes”, Missy says, finally looking up from her magazine. “Tell me”, Sheldon demands. Missy insists he couldn’t handle it. “Now I have to know”, he says. “You ever wonder why Mom made that prayer garden in the backyard?”, Missy asks. “To pray?”, Sheldon proposes. Missy calls him naive. “There's a dead body under there.”, she whispers. Whose? Missy replies that she’s already said too much.
George opens the front door to a stern Audrey, who immediately asks where Mary is. George clears his throat and calls out for Mary. When Mary appears holding CeeCee, Audrey asks why she has the baby. “Um… it’s kind of a long story”, Mary replies. Audrey repeats the question: Why do you have the baby? “My mother was arrested, she's in jail.”, Mary admits. Audrey scoffs, complaining that she can’t get a straight answer from anyone in this family.
In the Coopers’ living room, Audrey questions Mary about the gambling room, and Mary confirms it’s true. “And she'd been bribing the authorities?”, Audrey asks. Mary says bribe isn’t a word she would use, but there were “donations” to the authorities. And Georgie worked there? Yes, Mary concedes, but she points out that he also worked at the laundromat, “a very legitimate business”. “For laundering money”, Audrey quips. “And regular laundering”, Mary adds. Audrey wonders what kind of family her daughter has married into. Mary insists she does not condone any of this. Audrey doesn’t care, saying she is taking her granddaughter out of this criminal environment. “CeeCee is my granddaughter, too, and she is perfectly safe here”, Mary argues. Audrey says that means she’s staying too, then. Mary, without cooling her tone, asks if Audrey’s hungry, explaining she has “half a bucket of spaghetti in the fridge”. “I could eat”, Audrey admits without softening her voice. As Mary heads for the kitchen, she takes CeeCee and her stroller with her. Audrey scoffs, asking Mary if she thought she was going to take the baby and run. “Yes”, Mary responds matter-of-factly, then asks if she wants some garlic bread.
In the car, Georgie tells Mandy they should really start looking for their own place. Mandy is surprised, but Georgie points out the gambling room's doing great since they put in the roulette wheel. “We're basically printing money”, Georgie boasts. Mandy admits she would like her own bathroom. Georgie suggests, “Your own bathroom, one of them walk-in shoe closets like on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And carpet everywhere, even in the kitchen.” Mandy thinks that’s a bad idea. "’cause of spilling and crumbs, sure.”, he concedes. Georgie says the point is he just wants to spoil her. “Well, right now, I just want you”, Mandy tells him. “Hot damn”, Georgie says as he pulls the car over. “Just so you know, I promised my dad I'd use condoms”, Georgie tells her. Mandy chuckles and says, “Good”.
As Dale drinks a bottle of beer, with six empties on the table, he notices flashing blue lights outside. “Now what?”, he wonders aloud. When Meemaw comes through the door, Dale asks if she escaped. Meemaw explains that they just dropped her off to pick up her pills and PJs. She notices the empty bottles and asks if he’s drunk. “Uh, yeah, it sure feels like it.”, Dale concedes. When Meemaw asks where the baby is, Dale says not to worry, she’s not there. After Meemaw asks again where CeeCee is, Dale admits she's at Mary's. Meemaw realizes her daughter knows about her arrest. As a siren whoops, Meemaw remarks that her chariot awaits, so she grabs her pills and PJs to go.
Outside the Cooper house, George thanks Jim for coming. Jim asks about the situation. “Well, right now it's kind of a standoff”, George explains, “They're eating spaghetti, and Mary's holding the baby hostage.” Jim asks what their “play” is. George reasons that since they'll be dealing with each other for the rest of their lives, they need to keep things civil. Jim agrees. George tells Jim he’s a pleasure, and Jim returns the compliment. George then praises Mandy, prompting Jim to say something nice about Georgie. “So, you ready to do this?”, George asks. “I'm right behind you,” Jim declares. As they head inside, George calls out, “Hey, Mare, look who stopped by.”
Inside the Cooper house, the two families sit frostily across from each other at the dining room table, drinking coffee and eating cake. Jim compliments the coffee and starts to reminisce about how they used to drink this brand, but Audrey, not in the mood, shuts down the discussion, leaving Jim to declare it’s a mystery. “Speaking of mysteries”, George interjects, asking about Mary’s missing earring, a family heirloom that just vanished. Audrey jokes that maybe Mary’s mother stole it. Mary warns Audrey that she isn’t holding the baby anymore, so she better watch it. Jim blurts out that Audrey’s uncle was a bankrobber, pointing out that all families have secrets. George admits they’ve got some skeletons in the closet. Mary insists they have no skeletons, but when George prompts her, she admits her cousin is a practicing Wiccan. Jim claims he has them beat, revealing his brother William is a… Democrat who voted for Mondale. “Aw, I'm so sorry”, George responds. Jim admits it actually feels good to talk about it.
Later that night, in the backyard, Sheldon stands in a hole, holding a shovel with a flashlight strapped to his helmet. “Are you sure there's a body down here?” he asks Missy, who is standing over him. “Oh, yeah, keep digging,” she replies. Adult Sheldon remarks, “I'd like to tell you I found something that night, but for once, you all might be ahead of me.”
