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318 - A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector

Aired Thursday, March 12, 2020
A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector

When Ms. Hutchins is injured at a school football game, George feels guilty so the Cooper family take her in as she recuperates. Meanwhile, Meemaw gives Georgie relationship advice.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "A Couple Bruised Ribs" refers to George's description of Ms. Hutchins' injuries, and "a Cereal Box Ghost Detector" refers to the collectible toy Missy was playing with.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed is his normal clothes as a cow approaches the family.


Missy: Whoa.
Sheldon: What's that?
Missy: It's a ghost detector that came in my cereal box.
Sheldon: It's just a piece of paper.
Missy: Then why did it move in my hand?
Sheldon: From perspiration.
Missy: Or ghosts.

Sheldon: Did he apologize?
Mary: No. He is very upset with you.
Sheldon: Well, I'm upset with him.
Mary: That doesn't excuse you from trying to get him in trouble by calling Dr. Linkletter.
Sheldon: Who else was I supposed to tattle to? I doubt his mother's still alive.

Mary: Sheldon, I understand why you're upset, but you still owe him an apology.
Sheldon: Then you don't understand.
Mary: Well, for now, it sounds like you two could use a little quiet time.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll switch over to Dr. Linkletter's class. He's a foot taller than Sturgis and can reach more of the chalkboard.

Local TV Newscaster: In local news, Friday night's football game was marred by a brutal injury, when football coach George Cooper saved himself at the expense of beloved school librarian Cheryl Hutchins.
George Sr.: Oh, no.
Local TV Newscaster: We warn you, the following footage is hard to watch.
George Sr.: Well, then, don't show it.
Local TV Newscaster: Let's see it again in slow motion.
George Sr.: This is not news.

Ms. Hutchins: Hi, George.
George Sr.: Oh, hey, Ms. Hutchins. I don't think I've ever seen you at a game before.
Ms. Hutchins: Well, uh, it's Friday, and I promised my therapist I'd try one new thing a week.
George Sr.: And you picked football. Good for you.
Ms. Hutchins: I don't suppose Sheldon's here?
George Sr.: Nah, he doesn't much care for outdoor sports. Or sports. Or the outdoors.

View more quotes from this episode

Featured Music

  • Youth Gone Wild
    Skid Row

    Youth Gone Wild When Georgie plays some music in the pick-up truck as he follows Jana.

Episode Trivia

  • Which cereal did Missy get the ghost detector from?
    • Rice Krispies
    • Froot Loops
    • Apple Jacks
    • Frosted Flakes
  • What did George buy Missy once after an injury?
    • Cabbage Patch Kid
    • Easy Bake Oven
    • Barbie
    • My Little Pony

Episode Recap

In the kitchen, when Mary gets off the phone with Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon asks if he apologized. Mary tells Sheldon that John is still very upset with him. Sheldon points out he’s upset with him too, but Mary argues that doesn’t excuse Sheldon from trying to get John in trouble by calling Dr. Linkletter. Mary says she understands how Sheldon feels, but he owes John an apology. When Mary suggests Sheldon and John could use some quiet time. Sheldon agrees to switch over to Dr. Linkletter’s class, but Mary explains that she meant he stop taking college classes. Sheldon points out he’s been getting straight As, but Mary argues he’s not mature enough for college. Sheldon says he would throw a tantrum now, but he thinks that would only prove Mary’s point.

At a school football game, Jana tells Georgie she’s the only cheerleader he should be looking at as she notices him watching the squad. Meanwhile, Ms. Hutchins goes over to talk to George on the sidelines. She’s never been to a game before, but her therapist suggested she try one new thing a week. She wonders if Sheldon is there as she was hoping she would have someone to sit with. George explains that Sheldon is not there as he doesn't like outdoor sports, or sports or the outdoors for that matter. George tells her she’s welcome to watch from the sidelines. When Coach Wilkins shouts “heads up”, George quickly moves out of the way as a football player charges forward. The player knocks Ms. Hutchins to the ground. George gets Coach Wilkins to call an ambulance.

As Sheldon and Meemaw talk over tea in her kitchen, Sheldon doesn’t think you need to be mature to go to college. He’s seen Animal House. Well, the poster at least. Meemaw knows he won’t want to hear this, but she says some things can only be learned in time. After Sheldon says she must have learned them all then, Meemaw wants him out of her house. Elsewhere, George tries to comfort Ms. Hutchins as she’s wheeled into the hospital on a stretcher.

Out in the garage, Sheldon is talking to Tam as he cleans one of his model trains. Tam has no trouble believing that Sheldon’s mother said he’s not mature enough for college. Tam explains that in Vietnamese culture you’re basically a baby until your parents die. Inside, Mary is on the phone with George at the hospital. Mary says they can’t send Ms. Hutchins back to an empty apartment, so he should bring her there and they can set her up in Georgie’s room. When Mary says it’s nice he’s taking care of her like this, George admits it was kind of his fault. Kind of? Mary says it was all his fault.

Back at the hospital, Coach Wilkins asks George how Ms. Hutchins is doing. George says not bad, could be worse. She has a little whiplash, a couple of bruised ribs, a broken arm and collarbone. Coach Wilkins says it was pretty funny how George jumped out of the way and let her get clobbered. George insists it wasn’t like that, but Coach Wilkins laughs as he says they got it on tape. George says it was instinct that made him jump so quick and that Ms. Wilkins shouldn’t have been down there. When Coach Wilkins asks why she was there in the first place, George admits he said she could watch from the sidelines.

When Mary welcomes George and Ms. Hutchins into the house, she hopes she’s not putting them out. When Ms. Hutchins says hello to Sheldon, he brings up his argument with Mary without any asking how she’s feeling. Later, as George and Mary make up Georgie’s bed, he is upset they put her in his room without consulting him. Georgie doesn’t want to sleep on the couch so asks if he can stay at Meemaw’s.

As Missy and Ms. Hutchins try to watch TV, Sheldon is still talking about his argument with Dr. Sturgis. Missy changes the subject and asks Ms. Hutchins if she heard a crunch when her bones broke, or if George had to give her mouth-to-mouth. Over at Meemaw’s, she and Georgie are watching a teleshopping channel when he says he wants to ask a personal question. Georgie explains he’s been seeing Jana for a while and he likes her fine, but he feels she’s getting more serious than he wants to be. Meemaw says until he gets married he is not tied down to anyone, so he should play the field. Georgie says that’s what Dale said, too. Meemaw is unnerved that her boyfriend gave that advice.

In Georgie’s room, Ms. Hutchins is sitting up on the bed as Sheldon continues to complain about his college situation. When Ms. Hutchins asks if he recognises she’s in pain right now, Sheldon does and tries to be compassionate with a simple “aw”. He feels he can do better so he says “aw” again. When George comes in with Ms. Hutchins’ pain pill, Sheldon warns her not to become addicted and lose her job, since that’s all she has. George sends Sheldon away, before he asks if she’s comfortable and if he can get her anything. Ms. Hutchins thanks them for taking her into their home, saying it’s nice to be around a family. She suddenly remembers her own family, her two cats Edgar and Allan [Poe ran away]. She asks George if he could go feed them and tell them she loves them.

Back at Meemaw’s, she asks Georgie if he thinks Dale is seeing anyone else. Georgie doesn’t think he should be talking about this as Dale’s his boss. Meemaw says he’s her boyfriend, so spill. Georgie says the only woman he’s really seen him with is his ex-wife. Meemaw is reassured since Dale hates his ex-wife, but Georgie says it doesn’t seem like it. Georgie thinks they seem friendly to each other.

When George goes into Ms. Hutchin’s house, one of the cats runs out of the front door so he has to chase after it. Elsewhere, Meemaw continues interrogating Georgie about Dale and June. Georgie just wants to go to bed, but Meemaw asks him to answer the question, promising what he says will be kept secret. Georgie points out he learned to lie from her, so he’s not sure whether to trust her word. Later, when George arrives home, Mary wonders why he was gone for so long. When she flicks the light on, George has scratches all over his face, which he doesn’t want to talk about.

The next morning, Missy is using the “cereal box ghost detector” from the Apple Snacks box. Sheldon thinks it’s just a piece of paper, but Missy says it moved in her hand. Sheldon argues that was just from perspiration, but Missy claims it could be ghosts. When Mary says morning, Missy asks if she checked whether Ms. Hutchins is still alive. Why? No reason.

When Sheldon says he’s going to eat his breakfast Ms. Hutchins, Mary tells him to let her rest. Sheldon says it’s okay as she enjoys his company and understands what he’s going through with Dr. Sturgis, but Mary doesn’t want to hear about it. She’s just trying to help him grow up to become a functional adult. When Mary insists he is not ready for college, Sheldon claims if it was up to her he would still be in grade school.

In Georgie’s room, Sheldon talks to the bedbound Ms. Hutchins, telling her she’s so lucky. Ms. Hutchins asks him to walk her through that. Sheldon says she doesn’t have anyone telling her what she can or can’t do. Ms. Hutchins says right, she doesn’t have any one. When George brings breakfast, Sheldon wonders what happened to his face. George says it was either Edgar or Allan. Ms. Hutchins says it was Edgar as he can be a rascal. Over at Meemaw’s house, Georgie has little to say to Meemaw, especially when she asks him one more question about Dale.

Later that evening, George cuts up Ms. Hutchins’ food, even though she thinks she can handle it. Missy claims that her dad feels so guilty that he’ll do anything you ask him. She says he once bought her an Easy Bake Oven after he closed the car door on her thumb. After Sheldon accuses Mary of feeling no guilt when she hurts one of her children, Mary says she is trying to keep him safe until such time as he can make adult decisions.

As Dale drives Meemaw to a restaurant, she comes out and asks if he’s talked to June lately. Dale says not for a couple of days and wonders why. Meemaw says she was kind of thinking about calling June herself, if he’s okay with that. After Dale says it’s fine, Meemaw comments that it’s nice they get along so well. Dale wants to know where they’re going with this. Meemaw jumps to the point and asks if he’s sleeping with her. Dale says no, she’s his ex-wife. He wonders where this is coming from and questions whether Meemaw is jealous. She says no, she would just like to know what kind of relationship they’re in. Dale wonders if she’s asking him to go steady. Dale explains he’s 72 and he doesn’t have the energy to see anyone else. That doesn’t sound so romantic to Meemaw, who hears that he’s only with her because he’s too old and tired to see anyone else.

As they make out in his car, Jana tells Georgie she could kiss him forever. After Georgie says that’s kind of a long time, Jana asks why she keeps getting the feeling he’s not into this. Georgie says he’s into this, while Jana waits for the “but…” When Georgie explains they’re young and they don’t know what’s going to happen, Jana says they should know. Georgie insists there’s no reason to feel bad as he doesn’t know lots of stuff.

After Dale asks Meemaw if she’s seeing anyone, she says no. When Dale wonders what they want to call this, Meemaw proposes a committed relationship. That’s fine with Dale. In Georgie’s car, Georgie wonders what he said to upset her as Jana cries. Jana feels she’s not enough for him, but Georgie argues he didn’t say that. She wants him to admit he wants to date other girls. Georgie says he doesn’t want to date other girls instead of her, just in addition to her. Jana tells him to drop dead and gets out of the car. As Georgie drives alongside her to make sure she gets home safe, he offers to buy her a Blizzard if she walks to Dairy Queen.

At dinner, Ms. Hutchins breaks the silence to tell Mary the food is delicious. Sheldon asks how long he has to sit there and sulk before someone asks him what’s wrong. When Mary suggests people are tired of hearing about it, Sheldon asks Ms. Hutchins to chime in. She doesn’t want to get in the way of a family matter, but she does mention that once she had a falling out with someone very close to her. They ended up parting ways on bad terms and she still regrets it. When Sheldon asks if she was right and they were wrong, Ms. Hutchins says it doesn’t feel like it matters anymore. When Sheldon says maybe he does owe Dr. Sturgis an apology, Ms. Hutchins explains she is talking about his mother. Sheldon vows to circle back to her.

After Sheldon leaves the dinner table, Mary thanks Ms. Hutchins for getting through to him. When Missy asks who the person she fell out with was, Ms. Hutchins says it was her cat Poe. She ran away after she switched to dry cat food, which was cheaper.

That night, as Mary tucks Sheldon into bed, he apologizes. Mary says she forgives him, but she warns that just because he straightened things out with Dr. Sturgis, it doesn’t mean he’s going back to college. Sheldon believes it does, but Mary’s insistent. When Sheldon warns her she’s jeopardizing their relationship, Mary says she will take that risk. After she kisses him goodnight, Sheldon says he’ll eventually wear her down.

As George watches the local news, the anchor introduces a clip of a brutal injury at a local football game when football coach George Cooper saved himself at the expense of beloved school librarian Cheryl Hutchins. George doesn’t think this is news.

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