Mary: So, how's it going, you two living together?
Meemaw: She's leaving out, "in sin."
Mary: I didn't say it.
Dale: Well, don't we get a pass for being old?
Mary: I didn't say anything.
Meemaw: With his back being all askew, there's not much sinning going on.
Dale: Well, not none. We find ways to be creative.
Mary: I don't want to know. [scoffs]

Meemaw: Where we eating tonight?
Dale: Well, that depends. Why don't you look in the glovebox and check on the Tums situation.
Meemaw: There's five.
Dale: Oh, my, this is tricky. Well, Mexican's at least three apiece.
Meemaw: We might get by with two each if it's Italian.
Dale: You get red wine and then tomato sauce. Hey, if they put lemon in the water, we're dead.
Meemaw: Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
Dale: Sold.
Meemaw: Who gets Tum number three?
Dale: Me. They're my Tums.

Meemaw: I'll have the rib eye, medium rare.
Waiter: And for you?
Dale: Uh, just the house salad, please.
Waiter: Very good.
Meemaw: House salad? You watching your figure?
Dale: I have a physical tomorrow.
Meemaw: Oh, so your plan is to start eating healthy now?
Dale: Can't hurt.
Meemaw: It ain't gonna undo years of red meat and beer.
Dale: I'm not trying to undo it, I'm just trying to hide it under some lettuce.

Meemaw: I got to go open up the gambling room. Can you watch her for about an hour?
Dale: I just had coffee and a bowl of Raisin Bran. Next hour is spoken for.
Meemaw: You could've just said no.
Dale: I'm trying to keep the romance alive.

Sheldon: Mark my words, string theory is going to be the next big thing.
Mary: What does it do?
Sheldon: It explains the fundamental forces of the universe. How everything works, where everything came from.
Mary: I know where it all came from. [points to the heavens]
Sheldon: Mother, we're in the sky. Why are you pointing up?

Sheldon: [baby crying] Babies. Why'd it have to be babies?
Mary: Oh, relax. He'll cry himself out. You won't even know he's there.
[four hours later:]
Sheldon: [baby crying] [sighs] Please tell that mother to quiet her baby.
Mary: Sometimes moms can't make their kids be quiet no matter how much they try.

[After a bout of turbulence, Mary clasps her hands together in prayer]
Sheldon: Oh, there's no reason to do that. It's just irregular motion of air around the plane caused by temperature changes. [more turbulence] Oh, that was a big one. And given our altitude, perfectly predictable. [cabin alert chimes]
Flight Attendant: [v.o.] The pilot has turned on the seatbelt sign. Please return to your seat.
Sheldon: A reasonable precaution. [checks seatbelt] Snug as a bug. [more turbulence]
Mary: Would you like me to include you in my prayers?
Sheldon: No, thanks, I don't need to seek help from an invisible man.
Mary: You're right, you've got your invisible strings.