Mandy: Hey, how long have you been here?
George Jr.: [chuckles] I just came to check on her before work. She was up and you were snoring like a buzz saw.
Mandy: I do not snore.
George Jr.: Okay.
Meemaw: Be nice.
George Jr.: You didn't hear it?
Meemaw: I didn't say that. I said, "Be nice."

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George Sr.: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

George Jr.: [sings] ♪ The stars at night ♪ ♪ Are big and bright ♪ [claps four times] ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas ♪ ♪ The prairie sky ♪ ♪ Is wide and high ♪ [Georgie and Meemaw clap four times] ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas. ♪ Remember, it's always four claps. Never three, always four.
Meemaw: You know who claps three times? Yankees.
George Jr.: And as Texans, we always remember the Alamo.
Meemaw: Otherwise, we might as well just live in Oklahoma. Blech.

Sheldon: I know a way for you to watch whatever you want.
Missy: How?
Sheldon: Your imagination.
Missy: That's stupid.
Sheldon: Did you know there's a German folk song about it?
Missy: Don't.
Sheldon: [sings] ♪ My thoughts will not cater ♪ ♪ To duke or dictator ♪ ♪ No man can deny ♪ ♪ Die gedanken sind frei. ♪ [talks] Where are you going?
Missy: Mom said no music.
Sheldon: [hums melody]

Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.