Mr. Givens: As long as I've been teaching here, we have never beaten Pineview.
Pastor Rob: Oh, well, I can't take credit for that. Gotta give it to the big guy.
Mr. Givens: George?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I meant the big guy upstairs, but yeah, him, too.

Mary: Excuse me? Pastor Rob. [exhales] I'm sorry if I came off a little strong back there.
Pastor Rob: Oh. Hey, you're just trying to do what's best for the kids. I respect that.
Mary: Thank you. And I just want you to know that I am very well-connected with the parents, so if I can be of any help there, please let me know.
Pastor Rob: Yeah, you know, actually, I try not to get too close to the parents. I-I just think it's important for the kids to feel like I'm on their side.
Mary: Okay.
Pastor Rob: Ooh, maybe we could do a, uh, "good cop, bad cop" sort of thing.
Mary: [chuckles] Why am I the bad cop?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I don't have all the answers. Maybe you should ask God. Really looking forward to working with you.

Pastor Rob: So, you'll do it?
Mary: Okay.
Pastor Rob: I'll tell Pastor Jeff. I like watching his face get all red when I mention S-E-X. [Mary chuckles] Hey, yours does, too. [Mary chuckles]

Mary: I think First Corinthians 7:2 is actually a pretty good place to start. "Each man should have relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband."
Pastor Rob: Yeah, I'm just not sure quoting scripture is the most exciting way to engage.
Mary: I was going more for guilt and fear.
Pastor Rob: Well, those are classics for a reason. I just think that if we make the fruit too forbidden, someone might want to sneak a bite.
Mary: They look up to you. If you say that abstinence is the way to go, they'll listen.
Pastor Rob: Well, abstinence is important. But I also believe in honesty, and abstinence wasn't my journey.
Mary: Oh. Well, that's none of my business.
Pastor Rob: That's okay. I'm not saying I'm proud of everything I've done, but, you know, I was young, the mustache was just coming in...
Mary: You could stop right there.
Pastor Rob: Look, all I'm saying is, I was a little wild, but it's all part of what led me to the Lord.
Mary: That is good to hear.

Sheldon: Good morning. I'm Sheldon Cooper. Thank you for taking the time to hear my proposal. I have some handouts.
Mr. Anderson: I-I'm sorry, who are you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm... Sheldon Cooper. I'm here to pitch my idea for a grant computer database.
Mr. Anderson: How old are you?
Sheldon: When you hear my presentation, I believe you'll realize my age is irrelevant.
Mr. Anderson: So there's no adult with you?
Sheldon: Well, my mom drove me here, but I told her to wait in the car.
Mr. Anderson: Is this a joke?
Sheldon: I assure you, it's not. When I make jokes, I follow them with a "bazinga" so it's clear. Like this: "Bazinga."

Missy: And just so you know, Little Mermaid is rated G, and they totally kiss. On the lips.

Sheldon: No one will even listen to my ideas. I'm being discriminated against because I'm too young.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: I can't wait till I'm your age and people treat me with respect and reverence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sometimes older people get discriminated against, too.
Sheldon: For what? Getting smaller and cuter year after year? Look at you.