Georgie: Check it out. I got this video about childbirth. I thought we could watch it tonight.
Mandy: That sounds awful.
Georgie: Well, it does say "contains graphic images" right there on the box.
Mandy: Maybe some other time, Georgie.
Georgie: No worries. I also picked up Look Who's Talking, which is just about a baby who says stuff.
Mandy: If you're trying to make this, like, a date night or something, it's not happening.
Georgie: Oh, who said anything about a date? It's just us having dinner and watching a movie.
Mandy: Last time we did that I wound up pregnant.
Georgie: Mm, that was a good date.
Mandy: Well, that's not happening tonight.
Georgie: I get it. Nothing romantic. Just two future parents watching the miracle of childbirth or a movie that got two thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: Mornin'.
Mary: Mornin'.
Georgie: I slept in the nude last night. Felt every little breeze.
[Sheldon slides his food away]
Mary: Thank you for sharing that.
Georgie: You're welcome.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello, Mom. It's your son, Sheldon.
Mary: Hello, my son, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have an 8:00 a.m. class tomorrow, and I was wondering if I could spend the night in my dorm.
Mary: That's fine.
Sheldon: Now before you answer, hear me out. I have a list of reasons why this is a good idea. Number one...
Mary: Sheldon, I know that you're safe there. It's fine.
Sheldon: That's reason number four. Please don't skip ahead.
Mary: Honey, I trust you. Just go to bed at a reasonable hour and call if you need anything. Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow.
Sheldon: Okay. Number one: I'm not...
Mary: Goodbye, Sheldon. [hangs up]
Sheldon: Who hangs up on a list?

Sheldon: I've compiled a list of reasons why I should be appointed the dormitory R.A. Number one...
President Hagemeyer: Fine. You're the R.A.
Sheldon: Okay. "Number one: I love rules... creating them, following them, and most fun of all, enforcing them."
President Hagemeyer: You're the R.A., Sheldon.
Sheldon: Excellent. "Number two... punishment for rule infractions must be both fair and merciless."

Meemaw: Do you see any unoccupied machines here?
Dale: No.
Meemaw: Exactly. We are at capacity. It's time to expand.
Dale: Where?
Meemaw: The video store right behind that wall just lost its lease.
Dale: Aw, heck. I was gonna pick up the new John Candy.
Meemaw: Well, as my partner in this enterprise, you can get that new John Candy for free.
Dale: So you're gonna buy a video store?
Meemaw: Video store in the front, video poker in the back.