George Jr.: [dials phone] Hello. You paged me?
Mildred: Bruce?
George Jr.: Sorry, you have the wrong number.
Mildred: Oh. I was trying to reach my grandson.
George Jr.: Well, when you do, can you have him tell people this ain't his pager no more?
Mildred: I was hoping he could give me a ride to the drugstore. I need to pick up my prescription.
George Jr.: All right, well, good luck.
Mildred: I took my last heart pill this morning.
George Jr.: Sorry to hear that.
Mildred: I suppose I could walk, if I take it slow.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Sheldon: I'm hurt Dr. Linkletter doesn't want me as a friend.
Mary: Understandable.
Sheldon: I'm also angry. I don't like having two feelings at once. It's annoying. Great, annoyed. That's three.

[title: Sci-Fi Club:]
Sheldon: So, what kind of activities does the Science Fiction Club engage in?
Greg: Well, this Friday we're having a screening of Star Wars on laser disc.
Sheldon: I thought this was the Science Fiction Club.
Greg: It is.
Sheldon: Star Wars is science fantasy. The Force is basically magic. At that point, you might as well be watching The Hobbit.
Greg: That's next week.
Sheldon: This is madness.

Dr. Willard: The Moho lies between the mantle and the crust, and...
Sheldon: Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Linkletter.
Dr. Willard: He's not here.
Sheldon: Sorry for wasting your time. Oh, this is geology. You're already wasting your time.