George Jr.: [on the phone] I'd like to report a robbery. Well, before I tell you my name, is there any way we can do this where the owner of the store don't find out? Because he left me in charge and I really screwed up. At least $400. I know it's a lot. That's why I said I screwed up. I got to think about this. I-I'll call you back.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Sheldon: So none of you can help me?
Albert Einstein: I believe I can. Sheldon, if I was offered a choice between all the knowledge of the universe or the endless pursuit of it, I would choose the pursuit.
Sheldon: That's very insightful.
Richard Feynman: Hold it, hold it... He didn't come up with that! He stole it from Gotthold Lessing.
Professor Proton: Who's-who's Gotthold Lessing?
Cyndi Lauper: [v.o.] He's an 18th century German philosopher. Now do you mind? We girls are trying to have some fun over here.
Einstein: Apologies.
Richard Feynman: Sorry, Cyndi Lauper.
Stephen Hawking: Our bad.
Professor Proton: I-I like fun.

Ms. Hutchins: Hi, Sheldon, what can I do for you?
Sheldon: Do you have any books or videos on the Lamaze technique?
Ms. Hutchins: Uh-oh. Georgie get that girl pregnant?
Sheldon: It's for me. I need to have a tooth pulled, and I'd like to do it without putting my brain on drugs.
Ms. Hutchins: Okay.
Sheldon: I've seen that commercial with the egg in the frying pan. Very effective.

George Jr.: Can I at least change the music we play here?
Dale: What's wrong with the music we play here?
George Jr.: Nothing, it's just kind of grandpa music.
Dale: Well, how is this "grandpa music"?
George Jr.: Do you listen to it?
Dale: Yeah.
George Jr.: Do you have grandchildren?
Dale: Yeah.
George Jr.: Do you see where I'm going with this?