George: Sheldon, do you really have to do that here?
Sheldon: If the management didn't want me to solve unified field theory, why would they give me a crayon?
Georgie: I told you to crack a window and leave him in the car.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Missy: Do you believe in God?
Georgie: Yeah.
Missy: But in the Bible, he does all kinds of mean stuff. If he's good, why would he do that?
Georgie: Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. Hulk Hogan's nice, but in the ring, he will mess you up.
Missy: That's either really smart or really stupid.
Georgie: That's what I do.
Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up?
Georgie: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.
Missy: But how do you know there's a God?
Georgie: See that girl dancing in them shorts? There's a God.

Meemaw: You just need a new hobby.
Sheldon: Very well. What are yours?
Meemaw: Smoking, drinking and gambling. But we can find you something almost as fun.

Adult Sheldon: Having found no answers, I took it upon myself to rectify the inconsistent timeline in Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien had a brilliant mind, but let's be honest. He was no S.L. Cooper.

Mary: Baby, you need to eat something.
Sheldon: But it looks like I can change the definitions of electric and magnetic fields and rotate the magnetic charge away mathematically to zero.
Mary: Maybe some fried okra would help.
Sheldon: Richard Feynman didn't develop quantum electrodynamics by filling up on fried okra.
Mary: Well, maybe that's because his mama didn't love him as much as I love you.
Adult Sheldon: Richard Feynman was Jewish. His mother didn't give him fried okra.