Ms. Hutchins: Need any help there, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I'm looking for some books on education theory.
Ms. Hutchins: What for?
Sheldon: I'm trying to develop a technique to teach someone who falls into the conventional category of "stupid."
Ms. Hutchins: Oh. Well, now, there's a wide range of stupid. Can you narrow it down?
Sheldon: She wrote a fan letter to Alf.
Ms. Hutchins: Got it. So you're looking to make a pretty radical change.
Sheldon: Well, ideally, I'd like to wipe my sister's brain clean and start over, but my mom wouldn't like that.
Ms. Hutchins: Yeah. Moms are no fun.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Mary: And you. Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking?
Georgie: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

Mary: Georgie, if you want to be a good Christian, maybe you should stop lying through your teeth.
Georgie: Just be happy I brushed them, okay

Pastor Jeff: And I also want to welcome George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
Georgie: Howdy. Praise Jesus.