Adult Sheldon: In Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, we learned how humans taught the apes to become civilized. Which I think should start with potty training, but I'm not a screenwriter.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George Sr.: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George Sr.: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster.
For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that.
However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that.
Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that.
But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that.
Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that.
And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Pastor Jeff: And I also want to welcome George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
George Jr.: Howdy. Praise Jesus.

Mary: And you. Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking?
George Jr.: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

George Jr.: You here to see me?
Veronica: I'm here for your mom's Bible study.
George Jr.: Oh, sure, of course. I'm glad you could join us. Come in, won't you?
Veronica: You're part of the group, too?
George Jr.: Faith, the Bible, God, I'm nuts for that stuff.