Mary: And, uh, this is our daughter's room.
George: We told her to clean up, but no promises.
[When Mary opens Missy's bedroom door, her room is spotless. Missy is dressed in her Sunday clothes as she sits on her bed, reading the bible]
Missy: Oh, hello, ma'am.
Joanna: What a charming room.
Missy: It's been such a blessing to grow up here. I just hope some lucky family loves it as much as I have.
Joanna: I'm sure they will.
Missy: Well, I'm gonna pray on it.
Mary: Okay. Moving on.

Mary: I know it looks a little lived in, but it's got good bones.
George: Yeah. How much can we get for it?
Joanna: Well, I need to see the rest of the house.
George: Of course, yeah.
Mary: And we recently redid the plumbing.
George: And that was pricey. Write that down.

President Hagemeyer: Anyway, it's okay to have complicated feelings. Maybe you're focusing on your parents' move because that's easier than focusing on what lies ahead.
Sheldon: What do you think lies ahead?
President Hagemeyer: I don't know. You're moving far away.
Sheldon: I am, and I don't know anyone there. And I'm scared of the ocean. And they have earthquakes. What am I doing? Maybe I should stay here.
President Hagemeyer: Oh. I mean... [scoffs] Well, you could, but... Er... Professor Hawking is at Caltech. He will be very disappointed if you don't show up and- and tell him that Sour Patch story.
Sheldon: Good point.
President Hagemeyer: Great point.
Sheldon: Plus, I'm never gonna win a Nobel Prize at this third-rate university.
President Hagemeyer: Second-rate. Now, get out of here. I don't want you to see me cry.
Sheldon: Thank you. I don't want to see that either.
[After Sheldon gets up and leaves, President Hagemeyer sighs and crosses out an other day on her May calendar.]
President Hagemeyer: One more down. You can do it, Linda.

Sheldon: But if my parents sell it, I have no reason to come back.
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon, is it possible that what you're upset about is going away to California?
Sheldon: No, I'm excited about that.
President Hagemeyer: Well, things can be exciting and scary at the same time.
Sheldon: True. Once, on a dare, I ate a Sour Patch Kid. I thought I was gonna die. You would not believe the puckering. But now it makes a terrific story.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, riveting.

President Hagemeyer: Okay, stop. You know, I've always gone out of my way to do anything to make you happy.
Sheldon: I love that about you.
President Hagemeyer: But... how can I say this nicely... you're Caltech's problem now, so, yay. [chuckles]

President Hagemeyer: Why on Earth would I buy your house?
Sheldon: Not you, the university.
President Hagemeyer: Okay, why would the university buy your house?
Sheldon: We've been over this. Someday, I'm going to win a Nobel Prize. My childhood bedroom is in said home. It's gonna be like the thinking man's Graceland.

Sheldon: Honestly, I can't think of a better starter home for a new family such as the one you've accidentally created.
Mandy: Do you think we'd be living with my parents if we could afford our own house?
Sheldon: Well, the history of banking in this country is rife with ill-advised loans made to poor people. You could be their next mistake.
Georgie: CeeCee would have her own room and we'd have an extra bedroom for whatever we want.
Sheldon: Actually, I'd like my room to stay as is, but when you accidentally have more kids, we can talk.
Georgie: It's happened once bef...
Mandy: No.
Georgie: Okay.

Sheldon: So, where are we? Buy my home outright? Take over our mortgage? Interest rates are looking darn attractive.

Meemaw: Look, actually, I'm very happy living with Dale.
Dale: Well, first you're complaining, now you're complimenting?
Meemaw: I can go back to complaining.
Dale: No, no, no. Compliment away.
Meemaw: Fine. I really enjoy living with you, and your... moose lodge decor has come to feel like home.
Dale: Now, is that a compliment or a complaint?
Meemaw: It's a little of both.
Dale: I'll take it.

Sheldon: It's completely logical. You don't have your own house and you always complain about living with Mr. Ballard.
Dale: Wait a minute. You complaining to him about me?
Meemaw: No. I complain about you near him.
Sheldon: I have excellent hearing.
Meemaw: It doesn't matter.

Meemaw: What's up?
Sheldon: How much do you love me?
Meemaw: What do you want?
Sheldon: I want you to buy our house.
Meemaw: Why?
Sheldon: So my room is there when I need it.
Dale: I thought you couldn't wait to leave Medford.
Sheldon: Just because I don't want to come back to a place doesn't mean I don't want to have a place that I don't want to come back to.
Dale: That makes sense to me.
Sheldon: Great, let's talk escrow.

Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] Does that mean I have to say hello three times?
Sheldon: No, that would be crazy.
Meemaw: Agreed.

Dale: Is that what you're gonna wear for the family portrait?
Meemaw: We all are.
Dale: Well, that'll be special.
Meemaw: It'll make Mary happy.
Dale: Yeah. All your loved ones together.
Meemaw: Are you upset you're not gonna be in the picture?
Dale: Standing in a field full of pollen with this nose? Are you kidding me?

Mr. Givens: Caltech? Fantastic.
Sheldon: For Caltech? I know.
Mr. Givens: Mm. Well, I'm sure you're gonna do great things.
Sheldon: I hope so. I intend to. I'm being modest. I will.
Mr. Givens: You're taller, but you're still the same.
Sheldon: It's fun, isn't it?
Mr. Givens: Okay. Good luck at Caltech, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I don't believe in luck.
Mr. Givens: Well, here's hoping that a random universe works out in your favor.
Sheldon: Thank you. Bye.
Mr. Givens: Hmm. [to his class] That young man might change the world someday. Or blow it up. Who's to say?

Sheldon: Hello, Mr. Givens.
Mr. Givens: Sheldon? Uh, what are you doing here? Please don't tell me you're teaching.
Sheldon: No. I'm leaving for Caltech soon. I just wanted to pop in.
Mr. Givens: Uh, keep reading chapter 12 - or pretend to.