Sheldon: Dad!
George Sr.: I'll make it $40! Keep going!

Sheldon: What do you see?
George Jr.: Darkness.
Sheldon: Try harder.
George Jr.: Wait. I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini. Ooh, it just fell off.

Sheldon: So you collect all the terms linear in X. See? Simple.
George Jr.: Maybe for you.
Sheldon: No, it's simple for everybody. Now you collect all the terms linear in Y.
George Jr.: I don't get it.
Sheldon: Try this. Close your eyes.
George Jr.: 'Kay.
Sheldon: Can you see the slope of the line given by the coefficients of X and Y?
George Jr.: No.

Sheldon: $20 isn't gonna do it.

Sheldon: Before we start, I'd like to get a sense - of how much algebra you know.
George Jr.: 'Kay.
Sheldon: Do you understand solving and graphing - linear inequalities?
George Jr.: Sure.
Sheldon: Great. Explain it to me.
George Jr.: Uh, first you solve 'em and then you graph 'em.
Sheldon: And how do you do that?
George Jr.: Uh, you know, carefully.

Sheldon: Oh, dear.
George Jr.: What's your problem?
Sheldon: No problem. I'll just tidy while we talk.

George Sr.: If Georgie passes his test, I'll get you whatever you want. Under 20 bucks.
Sheldon: Deal.
George Sr.: Why?
Meemaw: I guess I like him better than you.

George Sr.: Can you help me out here?
Sheldon: [Meemaw whispers to him] I'll do it if you take me to the train store.
George Sr.: You got it.
Sheldon: [Meemaw whispers again] And buy me whatever I want.
George Sr.: Connie, what are you doing?
Meemaw: [imitating William Shatner] Just providing my grand-son with financial guid-ance.
Sheldon: Don't mock the captain.

Sheldon: Does she break wind on your head? Because that's what Georgie does to me.

George Sr.: Sheldon, do me a favor. Go help your brother study for his math test tomorrow.
Sheldon: Is that really a good use of my time?
George Sr.: Come on. I'm asking nice. If he doesn't pass, he won't be able to play football.
Sheldon: You realize he's often mean to me.
George Sr.: So? Your mother's mean to me. I still try to be helpful.

Meemaw: I gravitate a little more towards Kirk.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: [imitating William Shatner] Be-cause everything he says he makes sound so im-portant.
Sheldon: I should hope so, he's the captain.

Sheldon: That's humorous, because Spock is half human and half Vulcan. But he's ashamed of his human side. That's why I identify with him.

Adult Sheldon: I never did get to see a launch in person, but that was the best trip I ever had. I wish I had told my father while he was alive.

George Sr.: Buddy, I thought we had a plan.
Sheldon: You had a plan.

George Sr.: Okay, here we go. One, two-
Sheldon: I still think we should wait till the rain slows down.
George Sr.: No, we got to get home. I got work tomorrow, you guys got school.
Sheldon: You do realize I'll get wet?
George Sr.: It's just water, Sheldon.
Sheldon: All right. Just making sure you realize.

George Jr.: Looks like rain.
Adult Sheldon: My brother, on the other hand, didn't have to pretend.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

George Sr.: Can I tell you a secret? I never understood how lightning works.
Sheldon: Didn't they teach you that in high school?
George Sr.: They probably did, but I got hit in the head a lot playing football. Would you explain it to me?
Sheldon: Well, when positive and negative charges grow large enough, a giant spark occurs in the cloud.
George Sr.: Ah, that-that's pretty cool. What causes the thunder?
Sheldon: It's a shock wave from particles heated to 10,000 degrees.
George Sr.: Interesting.
Sheldon: You want to know what's really interesting? Aristotle thought that the sound of thunder was due to a collision between two clouds. He believed the clouds were expelling air, in the way a log on a fire crackles-

George Sr.: You want to sleep with me?
Sheldon: Yes, thank you.
George Sr.: Yeah. Got enough room?
Sheldon: Yes. You throw off a lot of heat.
George Sr.: Sorry.
Sheldon: That's all right. It's kind of nice.

Sheldon: Dad? Dad? Dad? - Dad.
George Sr.: What?
Sheldon: Georgie keeps kicking me.
George Sr.: Kick him back.
Sheldon: I'd rather not touch him.