Adult Sheldon: Since the 1970s, home video games have been coveted by children around the world. I was not one of those children.

George Sr.: Want to hear something cool? Sheldon skipped out of that lecture with that little Paige girl, snuck into a closed exhibit.
Mary: You're kidding.
George Sr.: True. [LAUGHS] Even got, uh, "arrested" by the museum security cops.
Mary: Why would you think that's cool?
George Sr.: Sheldon got into trouble with a girl! I'm bursting with pride.
Mary: [SIGHS] You know what? I don't want to talk about it.
George Sr.: There, right there. That's why I love you.

Sheldon: Did you know that her parents are getting a divorce?
George Sr.: Just keep walking. Keep walking.

Barry: What were you thinking?
Paige: I got bored.
Sheldon: 'Cause you're a baby.

Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you. Now, let's talk about this hula girl lamp. What's your best price?
Meemaw: It's my gift to you.
George Jr.: Nice haggle.
Meemaw: Nice mullet.

Dr. John Sturgis: Are you okay?
Meemaw: I guess I just didn't expect that getting rid of my my husband's stuff was gonna hit me so hard.
Dr. John Sturgis: He must have been a wonderful man.
Meemaw: [LAUGHS] Well, he had his moments.
Dr. John Sturgis: He was married to a wonderful woman, so that says a lot.
Meemaw: You're pretty wonderful yourself.

Dr. John Sturgis: Connie, I need to apologize.
Meemaw: Oh, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, I am worrying about it. I didn't realize that with you and I being in a relationship, me wearing your dead husband's clothes would be emotionally challenging for you.
Meemaw: All right, apology accepted.

Billy Sparks: Okay, ten cents a week for a whole year. I get the raccoon, and to tell people you're my girlfriend.
Missy: 15 cents a week, and if you say hello to me in school, I'll say hello back.
Billy Sparks: Deal.

Paige: Well, I think my parents are getting a divorce.
Sheldon: Why?
Paige: They fight all the time.
Sheldon: About what?
Paige: Mostly me.
Sheldon: Hmm. That's too bad. I guess I'm lucky.
Paige: Why?
Sheldon: I'm the glue that holds our family together.

Paige: Do you think Stone Age parents stayed together forever?
Sheldon: They had to. There were no lawyers.
Paige: [LAUGHS]
Sheldon: What?
Paige: That was funny.
Sheldon: Right, we've established I'm funny.

Paige: My family never eats dinner together.
Sheldon: Why not?
Paige: My dad always manages to come home from work after we're done.
Sheldon: Hmm. My dad never misses a meal.

Sheldon: This is oddly reminiscent of a dinner with my family.
Paige: You're funny.
Sheldon: I know.

George Sr.: Hey, you like football?
Barry: No.
George Sr.: Well, you sure? It's a close game.
Barry: Uh, no, no, I'm, uh, more of a tennis man.
George Sr.: Well, those are two very different sports, aren't they?

Sheldon: Where are you going? It's closed.
Paige: I can read, baby.
Sheldon: Just so you know, that won't work every time.

Linda: And then when Paige turned six, it was obvious she wasn't like the other kids, and she needed a school where she could excel.
George Sr.: Uh-huh.
Linda: But Barry's dental practice was 50 miles outside of Fayetteville, and do you know what's available for extraordinary children 50 miles outside of Fayetteville?
George Sr.: I'm gonna guess not much.
Linda: Nothing. So I packed us up, and I made him move to Texas where, believe it or not, people do get cavities.
George Sr.: I believe it. I had a humdinger last summer. Face swelled up like a cantaloupe.

Paige: Do you think humans will become extinct like the dinosaurs?
Sheldon: Yes, but before that happens, some of us will merge with computers and become immortal cyborgs.
Paige: That's a fascinating idea.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Paige: Did you get that from a TV show?
Sheldon: No. [Paige stares at him] A comic book.

Meemaw: Just take it off, damn it. [Meemaw storms away]
Dr. John Sturgis: What just happened?
Mary: That's my dad's jacket.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. Still don't know what happened.

Meemaw: What are you doing?
Dr. John Sturgis: Considering buying this jacket. I found chewing tobacco and Juicy Fruit in the pocket. Does that come with it, or is it extra?
Meemaw: Actually, that's not for sale. Why don't you look for something else.
Dr. John Sturgis: You sure? There's a price tag on it.
Meemaw: Just take it off.
Dr. John Sturgis: Is this some kind of bargaining technique? Because I should warn you.
I've been to the bazaars in Istanbul, where the negotiations are fast, furious and bilingual.

Billy Sparks: I like it.
Missy: It likes you.
Billy Sparks: How much?
Missy: Five dollars.
Billy Sparks: I only have 50 cents.
Missy: That's okay. We're haggling.
Billy Sparks: I don't know what that means.
Missy: You make me an offer, and we meet in the middle.
Billy Sparks: The middle of what?
Missy: I'm not really sure.

Paige: I'm bored. Let's get out of here.
Sheldon: I can't. I told my dad I'd stay here until the end of the lecture.
Paige: Okay. Be a baby. I'm leaving.
Dr. Barrett: In our case, the math yields approximately 48,000 years.
Adult Sheldon: I was most certainly not a baby. If anyone was a baby, it was she, because people who call other people babies are the real babies.
Sheldon: [WHISPERING] Wait up.