Meemaw: Excuse me. Is there a monster on that screen?
Sheldon: Yes, ma'am.
Meemaw: And can two players swing the magic sword?
Sheldon: No.
Meemaw: So what does that mean as we go forward?
Sheldon: I have to shut my yap.
Meemaw: Attaboy.
Sheldon: Can I still have a panic attack?
Meemaw: If you do it quietly.

Meemaw: Mazes, puzzles, panic attacks, you're in charge. Whooping monster butt, that's my purview.

Meemaw: Okay, we need to set a few ground rules.
Sheldon: Rules, love 'em.

Adult Sheldon: Over the next few days, I ran to my Meemaw's house so we could save the 8-bit princess. And if it's unclear how important this was, let me say it again: I ran.

Missy: How about a Houston Oilers cheerleader? "Signs point to yes." I'm gonna marry a quarterback.

Mary: Fine, but I want you here for dinner every night, and if your grades slip, you are done.
George Jr.: Thank you.
Mary: Now go wash up. And don't get grease all over my towels.

Mary: I don't know, I think his education should come first.
George Jr.: Come on, Mom. It's not like I'm gonna graduate "val-dictator-torian."

George Jr.: Herschel offered me a part-time job.
Mary: Really? Between that and football practice, when would you do your homework?
Missy: When does he do it?

Missy: When I grow up, will I be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? "Not likely." Darn it.

Meemaw: Why don't you let the old person give it a shot?
Sheldon: Would you like me to give you a tutorial first?
Meemaw: Give it to me. I'll figure it out.
Sheldon: We are such different people, Meemaw.

Herschel Sparks: Well, the kid was right. It's just the thermostat.
George Sr.: Yeah, yeah. So how long to fix it?
Herschel Sparks: Nothing, 20 minutes.
George Jr.: Can I help?
Herschel Sparks: Well, sure. Grab yourself a pair of coveralls and have at it.
George Jr.: Thanks.
George Sr.: Really? I'm paying you so my own son can fix my truck?
Herschel Sparks: Well, we could have my son do it, but we know how that's gonna end.

Sheldon: Should I go left or right?
Meemaw: Why don't you try going in that cave?
Sheldon: Why would I do that? It's probably dangerous.
Meemaw: Sheldon, they wouldn't have put the cave there if they didn't want you to go in it.
Sheldon: Seems unnecessarily reckless, but okay. "Dark and dangerous." I told you.
Meemaw: Just keep going.
Sheldon: The box was right, my heart is pounding.

Sheldon: All right, here we go.
Meemaw: I thought I was playing.
Sheldon: You don't know how to play; you didn't read the manual.
Meemaw: You're in charge, Emelda.

Sheldon: Now we need to put in a name before we start.
Meemaw: What are you thinking?
Sheldon: We should combine the letters in our two names, Sheldon and Meemaw.
Meemaw: Like, uh, ShelMaw?
Sheldon: No, using all the letters, like Emelda Showmen.
Meemaw: Did you just do that in your head?
Sheldon: Yes, why?
Meemaw: Never mind, just put it down.

Herschel Sparks: So, what's going on with your truck, other than the fact it's got 130,000 miles on it?
George Sr.: She's been running hot. I'm worried I need a new radiator.
Herschel Sparks: As your friend and neighbor, I hope not, but as a businessman, that'd be pretty sweet.
George Jr.: It could just be the thermostat not opening right.
Herschel Sparks: That is correct.
George Sr.: How'd you know that?
George Jr.: I took auto repair last year.
George Sr.: And you actually paid attention?
George Jr.: I'm as surprised as you are.

Herschel Sparks: Hey, George, how y'all been?
George Sr.: Good, good. Hey, fixed your place up, looking snazzy.
Herschel Sparks: Ah, thanks. Even got a new water cooler. It's got those pointy cups, look like Madonna's bra.

Meemaw: I'm not getting any younger.
Sheldon: I have to read the instructions first. Did you know this document gives us specific legal rights? We may also have other rights which vary from state to state?
Meemaw: I did not.
Sheldon: Well, now you do. All right, I'm ready.
Meemaw: Great!
Sheldon: To read the manufacturer's warranty.
Meemaw: Oh, you're killing me.

Meemaw: Fine. I'll just play by myself.
Sheldon: That's amusing.
Meemaw: Why?
Sheldon: I guess it's the juxtaposition of an old person using new technology; it tickles me.
Meemaw: What if this old person really tickles you?
Sheldon: [LAUGHING]: I'll play! I'll play!

Sheldon: "Brave adventurer, prepare to enter a world beyond your imagination. Where the only sound you'll hear is your own heart pounding as you race through the dark woods." This sounds terrifying.
Meemaw: Really? You don't even want to try it?
Sheldon: Honestly, I'd have more fun with the Crock-Pot.

Meemaw: What do you think? I won it bowling. It was either that or a Crock-Pot, and I already got three of those, so I thought I'd surprise you.
Sheldon: No, thank you. Video games are for children.
Meemaw: Sheldon, you are a child. I just blew the hot off your SpaghettiOs.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, Meemaw, I just don't think it's a very productive use of my time.
Meemaw: You're a man of science. Aren't you interested in doing a little research here?