Dr. John Sturgis: You're my guest. After you.
Sheldon: This is like being around a campfire, only I'm not miserable.

Sheldon: I don't say this often, but that may have been the perfect safety lecture.

Mary: Want to go out and get some ice cream?
George Jr.: I'm watching this.
Mary: Well, when it's over.
George Jr.: Not really.
Mary: Okay. Want to play Monopoly?
George Jr.: I'll let you be the thimble.
Mary: Well, pooh to you. What about the little dog?
George Jr.: Nope.

Dr. John Sturgis: After dinner, want to toast marshmallows on a Bunsen burner?
Sheldon: Good gosh, yes.

Sheldon: Do you believe there's intelligent life in the universe?
Dr. John Sturgis: I have no doubt.
Sheldon: Why is that?
Dr. John Sturgis: The Drake Equation claims that there are at least 20 detectable civilizations in our Milky Way galaxy alone.
Sheldon: Interesting. My sister likes to say that I'm an alien.
Dr. John Sturgis: I've often been called that. Once by the praying mantis in my dream.
Sheldon: Maybe we are aliens.
Dr. John Sturgis: Perhaps. Or maybe people like you and me were the original inhabitants of Earth, and everyone else is from outer space.
Sheldon: Ooh, I like that better.

Missy: This little piggy's looking good.
Mary: Hey, baby.
Missy: Hey.
Mary: Need any help?
Missy: No.
Mary: Do you want to do mine next?
Missy: Why?
Mary: Well, just seems like a thing mothers and daughters might do.
Missy: What's wrong with you?
Mary: Nothing. Never mind.

Dr. John Sturgis: In my dreams, I'm usually running for my life from a giant praying mantis.
Sheldon: That's the insect where the female eats the male after mating?
Dr. John Sturgis: It is.
Sheldon: I think I understand why you're not married.

Sheldon: Watching Cosmos while we're eating dinner? Am I awake? Because this feels like a dream.

Radio: "So far away, Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?"
Mary: Shut up, Carole King.

Mary: Remember, it's a school night, so his bedtime is 7:30.
Dr. John Sturgis: Mine, too!

Sheldon: I may be the luckiest boy in East Texas.
Dr. John Sturgis: I know it's Thursday, so dinner will be spaghetti and hot dogs. And, for fun, I have a few episodes of Cosmos recorded.
Sheldon: Forget "maybe." I am the luckiest boy.

Mary: You like chalkboards, huh?
Dr. John Sturgis: Indeed, I do.
Mary: Huh.
Dr. John Sturgis: In fact, I even have one in the bathroom. You never know when inspiration will strike.

Mary: I'm just saying, it can be tough sleeping in a new place without your mom.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis will be there. He's like a mom. But he's really smart.

Mary: You know, Shelly, it's okay if you're a little nervous. You can tell me.
Sheldon: I'm not nervous.
Mary: All right. When I was your age, a lot of times, I'd have to spend the weekend with my grandparents, and that always frightened me, 'cause they'd leave their teeth all over the place. I never told anybody, but I wish I had.
Sheldon: That does sound upsetting. Good thing I'm braver than you.

Adult Sheldon: The prospect of advancing to the next stage of academia had me feeling giddy.
And, on top of that, I got to pack a suitcase, which is like playing Tetris but with underwear.

Dr. John Sturgis: Here's an idea. Why don't you and Sheldon come live with me? And then you can take care of both of us.
Meemaw: Trial run sounds like the way to go.
Dr. John Sturgis: Not ready to shack up, are you?

Meemaw: I don't know.
Dr. John Sturgis: Connie, despite appearances, I'm not some stereotypical absentminded professor who can't take care of a houseplant.
Meemaw: No, no, I wasn't saying that. Yeah, maybe I was.

Meemaw: John, I don't think you realize the responsibility involved here.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, why don't we have a trial run? Have him spend a couple days with me and see how it goes.
Meemaw: A trial run, huh?
Dr. John Sturgis: Like the space program. You don't send people up right away; you start by spinning them around in that thing that makes them throw up.

Dr. John Sturgis: Sure!
Meemaw: What the heck? Do you really think you could handle living with a ten-year-old?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, he's only biologically ten. In every other way, he's as old as I am.

Sheldon: They're still discussing.
Missy: Mom didn't win?
Sheldon: It's touch and go.
Missy: Crazy.