Sheldon: Your mother lets you wear lipstick?
Paige: Of course not.
Sheldon: Interesting. Does she know you're leading a double life?
Paige: Grow up.
Sheldon: Why do you think you're rebelling against parental authority?
Paige: Isn't it obvious? I'm having a textbook reaction to their divorce.
Sheldon: What textbook? Did you get it from the library?

Paige: What do you think the prize is? We get to go home?
Sheldon: Is the joke that leaving would be a reward?
Paige: Yes.
Sheldon: I get that joke. [smirks]

Mary: You're really making him live out there?
George: He's not gonna last one night in that nasty thing.
Mary: Have you seen that boy's room?

Sheldon: Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, Perez was the father of Hezron, and Hezron was the father of Ram.
George: Why's he reading the Bible?
Sheldon: To humiliate and destroy Paige at Bible camp.
Mary: That.

Georgie: [o.s.] Get it off! Get it off!
Mary: What was that?
Georgie: It's in my hair!
George: Not my problem.
Georgie: It's in my hair! It's in my hair!

Pastor Jeff: Okay, campers! Bible trivia time. For a Noah's Ark rain poncho, what was Peter's original name? [Sheldon raises his hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: Peter's original name was Simon.
Pastor Jeff: Correct!
Sheldon: You didn't know that one, did you?
Paige: Yes, I did. He was also known as Cephas.
Sheldon: Then why didn't you raise your hand?
Paige: 'Cause I don't care.

Pastor Jeff: Next question. For a John the Baptist pencil topper, where did Jesus perform his first miracle? [Sheldon raises his hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: A wedding.
Pastor Jeff: [chuckles] Correct!
Sheldon: Aren't you even going to try?
Paige: Nope.
Sheldon: Why won't you compete with me?
Paige: Because it's fun watching you get upset.
Sheldon: What's fun about it?
Missy: [raises hand] Everything.

Sheldon: Paige, a sprig of my hair is askew. Upsetting, isn't it?
Paige: No.
Sheldon: But it's going a different direction from all the other hairs.
Paige: So?
Sheldon: You think it's fun irritating me? I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine. Ha.

Dale: Georgie, did I ever... tell you why I got married so young?
Georgie: You were in love?
Dale: No, because, when I was your age, I bought a similar vehicle.
Georgie: Cool. What was it?
Dale: Just get dressed.
Georgie: Okay.

Sheldon: Paige, look how close this pushpin is to this balloon.
Paige: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: It could pop at any moment. I bet that drives you cra- [Paige pops the balloon]

Adult Sheldon: That night, my brother turned a ratty old van into his chariot of love. Romance was in the air.
Mr. Boggs: Hey.
Georgie: Oh. Hey, Mr. Boggs. I-I'm just here to pick up Jana.
Mr. Boggs: You think you're taking my daughter out in this?
Georgie: No worries. I'll have her home by 11:00.
Mr. Boggs: [exhales] [grabs the door handle]
Georgie: Ooh. I wouldn't open that.
Mr. Boggs: Move. [exhales]
[As Mr. Boggs looks inside Georgie's newly furnished van, complete with twinkle lights and a lava lamp, his eyes are drawn towards the freshly-made bed.]
Georgie: It's got a mini fridge.
[later:]
Georgie: I thought about what you said. I'm returning the van. Good night.