George: Look, they're great kids. A lot of heart. They were getting killed out there. It's a coach's job to know when to pull back.
Floyd: So your strategy is to surrender.
George: That's not what I'm saying.
Roy: You know who don't surrender? That new coach they got up at Carthage.
Floyd: You know he played for the Packers.
Roy: Mm-hmm.
George: Oh, come on. He played for two minutes and broke his collarbone, and that was his career.
Roy: Well, that's two minutes more than you played. [laughter]
George: [quietly to Coach Wilkins] Help me.
Coach Wilkins: Vince Lombardi never played for the pros.
Floyd: So now this clown is Vince Lombardi? [laughter]
George: I'm not Lombardi, but I don't need to put up with this crap.
Coach Wilkins: Wait. What I think we're all seeing is the passion that Coach Cooper brings to the field.
George: No, what you're seeing is me running out of patience. Meeting's over.
Floyd: Oh, there it is. The Cooper Surrender. [laughter]
Roy: The Cooper Surrender!
Floyd: Bye-bye.

Mary: Oh, before you open that, could you pick up Sheldon so I can get dinner on?
George: Do I have to?
Mary: I'm sorry. I guess I'll do all the parenting around here.
George: I'm having a hell of a day. Can I get five minutes' peace?
Mary: When do I get five minutes' peace? Honestly, can you just take this one thing off my plate? [phone rings]
George: [answers phone] Hello?
Sheldon: Dad, my friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons. Can I please stay the night in my dorm room? I promise it's safe.
George: Fine with me.
Sheldon: Thank you. Bye. [hangs up] That was easy.
Mary: Who was that?
George: Sheldon. He's gonna stay the night in his dorm.
Mary: Why would you let him do that?
George: One more thing off your plate.

Darren: "You open the gate of the crypt, and you see two identical elven princesses." Sheldon, what do you do?
Sheldon: I... I don't feel so good.
Darren: What's going on?
Sheldon: My stomach hurts.
Abby: How much did you eat?
Sheldon: Well...
[montage of Sheldon drinking cans of root beer, eating chips and candy]
Darren: Dude.
Sheldon: I need to lie down. [groans] Oh, I don't want to throw up.
Darren: We don't want you to throw up.
Abby: If he throws up, I throw up.
Darren: Well, what should we do?
Abby: I don't know. Why are you asking me?
Darren: You're the closest to a mom here.
Abby: I don't know. Call his mom.
Sheldon: Oh, no, don't call my mom. She'll never let me do this again. [groans]

Darren: Get him something to throw up in. Oscar grabs a bowl] No, not the Skittles.
Oscar: Here, here.
Darren: Here.
Sheldon: Next door there's an emergency Alka-Seltzer tablet in my bathroom medicine chest.
Oscar: You have a bathroom?
Abby: Why does he get a bathroom?
Darren: Go throw up in your own bathroom.