Sheldon: You've been through this before. How long does it take?
Brenda Sparks: Depends. With Billy, it was days.
Sheldon: Well, he always has been a tad slow.

Billy Sparks: Do you think my mom and your dad are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend?
Missy: No.
Billy Sparks: If they got married, would that make us brother and sister?
Missy: It's not gonna happen.
Billy Sparks: Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia were brother and sister, and they still kissed. [Missy scoffs] I didn't write it. [Missy scoffs again]

Sheldon: All right, let's do this.
Mandy: Why are you wearing dish gloves?
Sheldon: To deliver the baby.
Mandy: That is not happening.
Sheldon: Good. Whew. Can I get a glass of water?
Mandy: Sheldon, I need to go to the hospital.
Sheldon: Well, I can't drive. I do have a bike, but you'll never fit in the wagon.

Sheldon: You know, in a way, you and I are having a very similar day.
Mandy: Really? How might that be?
Sheldon: I'm also bringing something new into the world. Although mine does not involve my privates being inspected my strangers.

Sheldon: Excuse me, does that computer have a modem?
Rhonda: A what?
Sheldon: A modem. It's how you access the World Wide Web.
Rhonda: The what?
Sheldon: It's when your computer wants to talk to another computer, and it goes... [imitates modem dialing]
Rhonda: You mean a fax machine.
Sheldon: It's like I'm from the future.

Meemaw: My advice, take all the drugs they offer.
Mandy: I plan to.

Georgie: She's here. She's tiny and perfect, and Mandy's doing great.
[George shakes Georgie's hand. Mary and Georgie hug.]
Mary: Oh, what's her name?
Georgie: Constance.
Meemaw: Oh... [hugs Georgie] Yes. Thank you.
Audrey: Is there a middle name?
Georgie: We're still working on it.

George: So what all's gonna happen at this party?
Sheldon: Well, we're gonna post to UseNet that the database is live and then watch the monitor as the subscribers roll in.
Missy: And you're calling that a party? Bold.

Sheldon: Meemaw, are you coming to my party?
Meemaw: I wouldn't miss it.
Mary: Oh, we're gonna leave at 4:00 if you want to ride with us.
Meemaw: No, I have to meet you there. I got a little business I have to take care of.
Sheldon: Oh, if you're getting me a gift, it's not that kind of party. Although I wouldn't say no to a TI-81 graphing calculator.

Georgie: We still haven't settled on a name.
Mandy: Well, I was thinking maybe Alice.
Georgie: Alice Cooper. That is badass. Sold.

Mandy: Wait, who said her last name's gonna be Cooper?
Georgie: Well, that's my last name.
Mandy: Yeah, and mine's McAllister.
Georgie: Yeah, but I'm the dad.
Mandy: So?
Georgie: I think that's just the rule.
Mandy: Not my rule.
Georgie: Well, all right. Let's not fight about it. I'm pretty sure she can hear us.
Mandy: Yeah, you're probably right. [clears throat] Please don't have a giant head!

Mandy: Thanks for doing this.
Georgie: Hey, you make a whole human being in your belly, I get the crib and car seat, we'll call it even.
Mandy: That is not even close to even.
Georgie: Well, I'm just saying, my list is pretty long, and you only got the one thing. [Mandy scoffs]

Georgie: Excuse me, which one of these car seats is the best?
Bruce: That'd be the Evenflo Discovery right here. Top of the line.
Georgie: Great. [looks at price tag] Which one's your second best?
Bruce: Is it a gift for someone?
Georgie: No, it's for me. I'm having a kid.
Bruce: Mm. I tell you, that first ride home from the hospital with the baby in the back, scariest drive of your life.
Georgie: Well, I got a station wagon. It's like a tank with a cassette player.
Bruce: That's good, good. 'Cause you can't believe how fragile and tiny newborn babies are.
Georgie: No, I can, I can believe it.
Bruce: So you know about that spot on their head that ain't even solid yet.
Georgie: Sure.
Bruce: Anyway, uh, you were interested in the basic model.
Georgie: Okay, pal, I'm in sales. I know what you're doing.
Bruce: So...
Georgie: Just give me the expensive one.
Bruce: Good choice.

Sheldon: [answers phone] Hello?
Mandy: Sheldon, is Georgie there?
Sheldon: No.
Mandy: Is your mom there?
Sheldon: No.
Mandy: Are there any adults there?
Sheldon: No. But I have an IQ of 187. I'm sure I can figure out whatever's troubling you.
Mandy: My water broke. I'm in labor.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.

Mandy: It's okay, I'll drive. Just come with me, okay?
Sheldon: Okay.
Mandy: Oh...
Sheldon: Does it hurt bad?
Mandy: Yes!
Sheldon: That's unfortunate. It's my understanding it's only gonna get worse.