Episode Recap
Adult Sheldon explains that although people say French is the language of love, for him it’s legalese. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for his parents. When George, Mary, and Sheldon join President Hagemeyer in her office, George is confused by the legal terminology in the proposed contract. After Hagemeyer offers him a beer, already knowing his brand, Mary declines the offer for George. George questions whether Hagemeyer really believes this invention of Sheldon’s could make money. Hagemeyer is noncommittal, saying most of the time these things don’t pan out. Sheldon points out she said they could make “boatloads” of money, but Hagemeyer argues some boats are small, like a canoe. Mary is curious about the provision that the university owns 90% of the idea and Sheldon just 10%. Hagemeyer insists it’s just boilerplate. Rather than defending his own interests, Sheldon is excited to explain the origin of the term boilerplate. Mary says they want to make sure Sheldon is being treated fairly. George proposes they have their own lawyer look at this, but a quick look at Sheldon confirms they can’t afford that right now. Hagemeyer says okay, take all the time you need. “You know, just because of all the nice things we've done for your son and for your family, no need to start trusting us now.” Sheldon misses her sarcasm and thinks Hagemeyer took it better than he expected.
IIn the gambling room, Georgie notes it's busy for a weekday. Meemaw points out that pensions are paid on Wednesdays. She tells Georgie to take the cash back to the video store and have Mandy put it in the till. When Georgie arrives at the video store and talks to Mandy, a customer complains about the “filth” they rent out. Her husband was watching Basic Instinct, and there's a scene where a woman shows her full “hoo ha.” The woman doesn't understand why they rent such movies, but Mandy argues people like it. Georgie admits he's seen it three times. Noticing Mandy is pregnant, the customer asks if she really wants to bring her child into a world where this is considered entertainment. Mandy is offended and says the customer should let her worry about her own baby and should worry about what her husband is watching. Georgie tells Mandy to take it easy because the woman is still a customer, but the woman replies that she isn't anymore and will be telling her whole prayer group to avoid the store.
As President Hagemeyer talks to the university’s lawyer, Ken, in her office, Dr. Linkletter barges in, claiming he was an integral part of Sheldon’s idea. Hagemeyer is surprised, saying Sheldon never mentioned him. “Of course he didn't, that pint-sized little credit hog,” Linkletter groans. After Ken wonders if he needs to rewrite the contracts, Hagemeyer says no, insisting this is good for the university and not everyone needs a share of the pie. Linkletter just wants Hagemeyer to be reasonable. “After all the Sheldon I've put up with, I deserve this,” Hagemeyer says. Linkletter points out his office is basically Sheldon’s clubhouse. Seeing his point, Hagemeyer tells Linkletter, “Here’s what I’ll do for you: If Sheldon’s okay with it, you're welcome to part of his cut.” Linkletter points out that she’s not doing anything.
When Pastor Jeff stops by Meemaw’s house to talk about her video store, he says he’s glad it’s in the hands of a Christian woman. Meemaw wonders where he’s going with this. Pastor Jeff explains some of his congregation are concerned about the movies she’s renting out, the ones with sexual content and whatnot. “If they don't want to see whatnot, then they shouldn't rent whatnot,” a disgruntled Meemaw argues. Pastor Jeff hears her and says, “God gave us free will. But you're renting temptation. And you know who tempts us? The devil.” Meemaw wonders if it’s the devil making her want to slam the door in his face. After Pastor Jeff says he just doesn’t want to see Meemaw’s business suffer, she wonders if he’s threatening her. Jeff insists not, saying he’s taking off his pastor hat and putting on his neighbor cap. “I'm gonna put on my hat, too. It's got a big foam finger on top of it. Guess which one,” Meemaw tells him. “The naughty one?” “Bingo,” Meemaw says as she closes the door on Pastor Jeff.
In his office, Mary and George thank Mr. Vance, a lawyer, for seeing them. He admits he doesn’t usually handle intellectual property cases. Mary recognizes his face from personal injury signs in the park. George explains that they’re concerned the university is trying to take the majority of something their son invented. They’re not sure if it will make a lot of money, but the university seems to think so. They struggle to explain the idea, saying it involves computers. When George is distracted by the smell, Mr. Vance explains it’s coming from the Chinese restaurant downstairs. George wonders if they make good chop suey.
When Dr. Linkletter finds Sheldon in the university library, he says they need to talk. Linkletter wonders if Sheldon remembers when they came up with the idea for the grant database. Sheldon recalls when he came up with it. “In my office,” Linkletter argues. “In my brain,” Sheldon counters. “Which was in my office,” Linkletter insists, claiming he was the one who proposed building a database. Of comic books, Sheldon retorts. After Linkletter argues the database was just the underlying idea, Sheldon says fire is the underlying idea for the nuclear power plant, but nobody credits the caveman. “Son, and I call you son because I think of you as family, is this the way you would treat your own family?” Not his mom, Sheldon concedes, but everyone else is on their own.
At the video store, Mandy hears Pastor Jeff outside thanking someone for “saying no to sin.” She goes out and finds Pastor Jeff at a table with members of his congregation, soliciting signatures. Pastor Jeff says they’re asking people to sign a petition agreeing that “sin has no place in cinema.” Mrs. Howard, the customer from earlier, says God doesn’t want people seeing private parts. When Mandy asks if God didn’t invent private parts, Pastor Jeff replies, “He did, and then He made clothes to cover 'em right up.” After Mandy accuses them of scaring away customers, Pastor Jeff argues that Hell is even scarier. Mandy says they can’t do this, but Mrs. Howard claims freedom of speech. Mandy argues they’re also free to rent out whatever movies they see fit, saying people can choose for themselves. Pastor Jeff agrees and tells people, “If you love God and hate the devil, sign here.” As Pastor Jeff thanks a woman for signing the petition, Meemaw comes out of the store with a fire extinguisher and sprays it at Pastor Jeff and his group.
Back inside the video store, Meemaw and Mandy are surprised when Georgie puts up the closed sign. Meemaw says they just got those killjoys out of there. After Georgie argues they don’t need this kind of attention, Meemaw and Mandy think it’s like free advertising. Georgie reminds them they’re running an illegal gambling room in the back. Meemaw claims it’ll be fine, but Georgie says that’s because they’ll be going to lady jail. When Georgie claims he’s too pretty for regular jail, Mandy says no more prison movies for him. Meemaw doesn’t want to give in to that “holy-rolling Muppet,” considering what he’s done to their family. Georgie points out the gambling room is the real profit center, urging Meemaw to back off to avoid scrutiny. Meemaw reluctantly agrees, wondering when Georgie became the sensible one.
When President Hagemeyer runs into Sheldon as he leaves a building, she tells him she’s heard from his family’s lawyers and fears any delays might let someone else beat them to the idea. Sheldon hadn’t thought of that and realizes they should start right away. Hagemeyer agrees but says they can’t begin until the paperwork is signed. When Sheldon asks how they can fix this, Hagemeyer suggests he talk to his parents and convince them to sign the contract. She tries to sweeten the deal by offering to name one of the campus buildings after him. “How would you feel about ‘Sheldon Cooper Science Center’?” she asks. Sheldon prefers the possessive form, “Sheldon Cooper’s Science Center,” to make it clear it’s his. After Hagemeyer asks if they have a deal, Sheldon agrees. “Now get out of here before I pinch those cheeks,” Hagemeyer tells him. She sighs and drops her eager-to-please attitude as Sheldon walks away.
When Pastor Jeff opens his door to Meemaw, a nervous Jeff reminds her that his wife is a police officer. Meemaw says she’s there with a peace offering. She pulls the tape out of her last copy of Basic Instinct, saying the town is now safe. After Pastor Jeff thanks her for “seeing reason,” Meemaw wonders if they’re square. Pastor Jeff insists it’s not about them being square, it’s about “El Jefe Grande.” Meemaw gives a faint "mmm" before saying goodbye. Pastor Jeff offers to come down to the store and let her know what other movies are “objectionable,” so they don’t have another situation on their hands. Meemaw is shocked he wants to take more movies away from her store. Pastor Jeff insists it’s not about him, but the guy with a thumb a lot bigger than Siskel or Ebert’s.
When Sheldon goes to Linkletter’s office, Grant thanks him for coming and apologizes for their argument the other day. Sheldon says he’s forgiven. Linkletter shows him something that might interest him: Richard Feynman’s genuine signature. Sheldon takes a look and asks if it’s a restraining order. Linkletter insists that’s not important, but Sheldon realizes that’s actually a clever way to get an autograph. Linkletter then says the signature is for Sheldon because they need to stick together as scientists since the university is filled with people who want to exploit their ideas. Sheldon says that hasn’t been his experience, mentioning that President Hagemeyer just offered him his own building. Linkletter argues that Sheldon is being manipulated and doesn’t see it. When Sheldon asks if that isn’t what Linkletter is also doing, Linkletter denies it, claiming that Hagemeyer’s gift was a bribe, but his is a gift from one peer to another. “So, what do you say? Are you a scientist or a pawn of the administration?” Linkletter asks. Sheldon says he’s a scientist. “So, do we have a deal?” Linkletter wonders. “Okay,” Sheldon replies with a shrug.
At the video store, Meemaw is on the phone with the distributor, asking for more copies of Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction. After Meemaw wonders if there’s anything else they should get, Mandy proposes getting The Last Temptation of Christ to really piss them off. When Meemaw gets off the phone, Georgie wonders what they’re doing. Meemaw says she tried to be nice, but Pastor Jeff kept pushing, so they’re pushing back. Georgie doesn’t get why his grandmother cares. Meemaw doesn’t want anyone telling her how to run her business, especially him. Georgie points out the video store isn’t her business; the room back there with piles of shady money is. Meemaw insists she will not let that man win. When a local news reporter and a cameraman arrive, the reporter asks if they would care to comment about the pastor’s campaign against their video store’s “vulgar content.” Meemaw is all too keen to speak to the camera, but Georgie tries to stop her, insisting there’s nothing illegal or immoral going on there.
Around the Coopers’ dining table, George mentions they were talking to a lawyer. Missy thinks they’re about to announce a divorce, but George explains it’s because of an idea Sheldon had that could be worth a lot of money. Missy tells Sheldon he was always her favorite brother. George says the lawyer wants to talk to Sheldon before discussing it with the university. Sheldon isn’t sure, saying lawyers slow things down. Mary tells him they’re just looking out for his future, but Sheldon insists he doesn’t care about money. Mary says he might one day when he has a wife and children, but Sheldon doesn’t see that happening. Neither does Missy, although she says it with love. When Sheldon asks if his mother put extra hot dogs in his spaghetti, Mary confirms she did, prompting Sheldon to agree to talk with the lawyer.
Sheldon, his parents and their lawyer meet with President Hagemeyer and the university’s lawyer in her office. As their discussion starts, Dr. Linkletter arrives with his cousin-slash-lawyer. It soon becomes clear that Sheldon had indicated he was on multiple sides. When they ask Sheldon which side he's really on, he says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. “I just want to build the database. Why can't this just be about the science?” Sheldon asks. He accuses them of making it all about money when it was supposed to be exciting. As Sheldon storms out, Mary follows him.
In the corridor outside Hagemeyer’s office, Mary apologizes for pressuring Sheldon to think about the money. She suggests he take some time to figure out what will make him happy. Almost immediately, Sheldon says he’s made a decision. “I'm cutting everybody out and doing this myself,” he tells his mother. Sheldon insists he can find private funders who will pay for it on the condition he is left alone. When Mary wonders if he should think about it a bit more, Sheldon replies, “Perhaps you're right,” before quickly adding, “Done. I'm good.” Sheldon then scurries off to his dorm room to get started.
At the video store, a male customer asks if they have Die Hard. Mandy replies that they don't anymore. When he asks why not, Meemaw explains it had a bad word in it, "yippee-ki-yay..." Nelson complains that the store sucks, but Mandy says they know. Meemaw asks if he would rent The Singing Nun, but Nelson says nope and leaves. Meemaw wonders if anyone has ever rented The Singing Nun, so Mandy checks the computer. Just Pastor Jeff, she says. Meemaw is surprised to learn you can see what anybody rented. Meemaw asks Mandy to look at Pastor Jeff’s history to see if he’s as pious as he seems. Mandy finds multiple Jesus movies, nothing salacious, but then she gets the idea to look up Pastor Jeff’s wife.
When Meemaw visits Pastor Jeff in his office with a gift—the video of Dirty Dancing—Jeff says he's sure she knows what he thinks about the movie. Meemaw does. She also knows what his wife thinks about it, explaining that Robin rented it five times. Meemaw says that's a lot of shirtless Patrick Swayze. Pastor Jeff insists there must be some mistake, but Meemaw insists there isn’t. “Shall we talk about Fatal Attraction?” Meemaw asks. “Do we have to?” Pastor Jeff wonders before asking if she is blackmailing him. “Yeah,” Meemaw admits. Pastor Jeff insists it won't work as he's a man of principles. Meemaw respects that and suggests they talk about what the church elders are renting. “Is it bad?” Jeff questions with a wince. “Porky's bad,” Meemaw confirms. As Pastor Jeff squeals, Meemaw asks how his principles are feeling now. Adult Sheldon jumps in to say he's going to end this story here so we don't have to see a grown man beg for mercy.
