Missy: I'm on pump number three. You?
Customer: Two.
Missy: Nice.

Paige: [answers phone] Hello?
Missy: Hey, it's Missy. I stole my dad's truck, I'm running away. Want to come?
Paige: You're running away? Sounds dangerous.
Missy: Oh, um... well, my dad taught me how to drive and...
Paige: I'm messing with you. Come and get me.

Paige: Why didn't we do this years ago?
Missy: My feet wouldn't reach the pedals.

Sheldon: Dad, wake up. There's a problem.
George Sr.: What? What's wrong?
Sheldon: It's Saturday morning and no one's cooking bacon.
George Sr.: Oh. So go cook bacon.
Sheldon: But Mom cooks bacon.
George Sr.: Well, she's at your meemaw's.
Sheldon: Which is why I'm waking you up.
George Sr.: Sheldon, you're a very intelligent little boy, I'm sure you can handle bacon.
Sheldon: I'll wake up Missy.
George Sr.: No, wait... [exhales] She's mad at the world right now. Just leave her alone.
Sheldon: Then I'll call Mom.
George Sr.: [groans] Okay... I'll make your stupid bacon, happy?
Sheldon: I've been better.

Missy: This is the best day of my life.
Paige: First time running away?
Missy: Pretty much.
Paige: Think your parents know you're gone?
Missy: They barely know when I'm there.
[cuts back-and-forth between George knocking on Missy's bedroom door, and Missy and Paige in a roadside diner:]
George Sr.: [knocks] Missy, there's breakfast. We saved you a little.
Missy: What about somewhere with a beach, like California?
Paige: We've already driven five hours east, so we might want to keep heading that way.
Missy: East. You really are smart.
George Sr.: I get there was a lot of yelling last night. Just want you to know I'm here when you're ready to talk.
Paige: I mean, if you want a beach, then Florida's in the right direction. Oh, and it's almost spring break.
Missy: Like MTV Spring Break?
Paige: Mm-hmm.
George Sr.: If you expect me to apologize, you can sit in there forever.
Paige: Great. Then we're going to Florida.
Missy: Let's pay and get out of here.
Paige: Or... let's not pay and get out of here.
George Sr.: Fine, ignore me. I'm eating your bacon.

Sheldon: You know, there's a more spatially efficient way to do that.
George Sr.: It's good enough.
Sheldon: Is that what you tell your football players?
George Sr.: I make them run laps. That what you want?
Sheldon: You're funny. I like our weekends together.

Mary: Hi, Shelly. How you doing, baby?
Sheldon: I'm all right, although the dishwasher looks like it was loaded by Gustaf Dalén. [off Mary's confusion] He won a Nobel Prize in physics. And was blind.

George Sr.: It's a '86 Ford F-250.
Officer Rodriguez: And you didn't hear anything?
George Sr.: No.
Officer Rodriguez: What about you, ma'am?
Mary: Well, um, actually...
Sheldon: Oh, she hasn't slept here in days. She's just getting her things.
Mary: I was taking care of the baby. We have a new grandbaby. [chuckles]

Mary: Missy. Open up. [gasps] Missy?
George Sr.: Son of a bitch.
Sheldon: Huh, your truck's gone and she's gone? What are the odds of that?
George Sr.: She took my truck, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, more chaos. Got it.

Missy: We are breaking so many laws right now.
Paige: I feel like Thelma & Louise.
Missy: Me too. Have you seen that movie?
Paige: No.
Missy: Me neither. [giggles]

Mary: How could you not know she was missing?
George Sr.: I thought she was giving me the silent treatment. [Mary sighs] You know, teenage girls.
Officer Rodriguez: I don't.
Sheldon: Moody, moody, moody.
George Sr.: Sheldon.

Officer Rodriguez: When was the last time you saw your daughter?
George Sr.: Uh, well... Hard to say. We just... Lot going on.
Sheldon: Well, at 6:15 she made a plate of food and took it to her room, which I said, "is how you attract ants," and she said to mind my own business, and I said it is my business because her bedroom shares a wall with mine...
Officer Rodriguez: 6:15, got it. No one saw her after that?
Sheldon: Well, at 7:22, she had to use the restroom, but she had to wait because my dad was in there. Probably due to all the beers.
George Sr.: Thank you.
Sheldon: Happy to help. And then at 7:45, she tried the bathroom again, and luckily, by then my father had...
George Sr.: Sheldon, when was the last time you saw her?
Sheldon: Well, at 9:15 I brought her a can of Raid for the ants, and she told me to go to hell, which is rude. And then at 11:06 I tried to communicate with her via walkie-talkie to no response.

Mary: I can't believe she would do this. How does she even know how to drive?
[flashback:]
George Sr.: All right, now, take your foot off the brake gently put it on the... [tires screech] [Missy laughs]
[present:]
George Sr.: I bet your mother taught her.

Mary: None of her friends have heard from her.
George Sr.: The police are looking for my truck, but still no sign.
George Jr.: I can't believe that girl. Did she even think about how worried we'd all be?
Meemaw: Wow, you became a dad fast.
George Jr.: Well, it just kicks in.

Mary: I don't know who else to call.
Sheldon: What about Paige?
Mary: Are they still in touch?
Sheldon: They saw each other a few weeks ago. Although Paige was quite inebriated.
Mary: What?
Sheldon: It means drunk.
George Sr.: We know what it means.
Sheldon: And Paige has run away from home before. If I was going on the lam, that's certainly who I'd contact. "Lam." What a fun word. I'm glad I got the chance to use it. Lam.

Mary: [on the phone] Hi. Linda, this is Mary Cooper. Um, I'm sorry to call out of the blue, but is Missy there with Paige?
Linda: No. Why? What's going on?
Mary: [sighs] Well... Missy has run away, and we thought...
Linda: That my daughter would have something to do with it?
Mary: Oh, no, I'm not accusing her.
Linda: No, that's exactly something she would do. Hold on. Paige.
Mary: [covers phone] I'm thinking she might be with Paige.
Linda: [o.s., on phone] Paige? [opens door] Damn it.

Paige: Hey, can I drive?
Missy: Better not. My dad'll be pretty mad if something happens to his truck.
Paige: Like what, if somebody stole it?
Missy: Oh, my God, I'm a criminal.
Paige: Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?
Missy: I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
Paige: Only if you go back.
Missy: I guess you're right.

Paige: Hey, maybe we should change our names.
Missy: Really?
Paige: And I hate my name. Paige. What am I, a congressional aide?
Missy: Yeah, totally. So, what name are you gonna pick?
Paige: I'm thinking Ginger.
Missy: That is so good.
Paige: Ginger's not a boring scientist. Ginger's fun. She's alive.
Missy: I'm gonna pick Susan. No, Suzie. Much cuter.
Paige: Ginger and Suzie.
Missy: Ginger and Suzie. Wait, is it too late to change my name to Brandi?
Paige: Too late.
Missy: Come on, Ginger.

Mary: I can't believe the last thing we did was yell at her.
George Sr.: Now, don't go blaming yourself.
Mary: Uh, I was blaming both of us.

George Sr.: So, we weren't supposed to punish her? Kids do stupid stuff, parents yell at them.
George Jr.: Yeah, y'all did it to me, I'm gonna do it to my kid.
Meemaw: Calm down, Daddy. I know y'all are worried, but this ain't helping.
George Sr.: She snuck out and stole my truck. I mean, how is this our fault?
Mary: Well, maybe she was right. She does get ignored around here.
George Jr.: I liked being ignored. Let me get away with all kinds of stuff.
Meemaw: Please stop helping.