Sheldon: You see it, right?
Dr. Linkletter: That Dr. Sturgis was correct and I need to eat crow and go back to him?
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: Let's just give it another moment. [water gurgles]

George Jr.: Hey, you took a shot. That's impressive.
Meemaw: I guess.
George Jr.: I mean, most folks your age have someone cutting up their food.
Meemaw: That's enough.
George Jr.: Well, I still think you're a badass.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Thank you. We should probably get back out there.
George Jr.: Oh. [chuckles] I ain't working for you. But I'm rooting for you.

George Sr.: I'm not even gonna tell you how I helped Sheldon.
Coach Wilkins: It may be better you don't.
George Sr.: Fine. I used a sports metaphor about science, and it worked.
Coach Wilkins: I'm sure it did.
George Sr.: It did.
Coach Wilkins: I'm sure.
George Sr.: You should be.
Coach Wilkins: I am.
George Sr.: Good.
Coach Wilkins: It is good.
George Sr.: Are you just gonna keep having the last word?
Coach Wilkins: No.
George Sr.: Thank you. [sighs] [Coach Wilkins is silent] Just say it.
Coach Wilkins: You're welcome.

George Sr.: [opens door] Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.
Billy Sparks: Is Missy?
George Sr.: Nope.
Billy Sparks: Good. I need to talk to you alone. [enters]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

Missy: You know you want privacy, too.
Sheldon: I suppose it would be nice to have all my trains and science equipment in here.
Missy: Great. It's settled.
Sheldon: It would be like my Fortress of Solitude.
Missy: Good for you.
Sheldon: Or my Bat Cave.
Missy: Shh!
Sheldon: Although I don't care for caves. Or bats. I suppose Fortress of Solitude...
Missy: I'm gonna choke you with my bra.
Sheldon: Good night.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Missy: Moving my stuff.
Sheldon: But we haven't discussed who gets what yet.
Missy: I get my stuff. You get your stuff. Done.
Sheldon: There's community property. We've lived together for over ten years. In some states, we'd be considered married.
Missy: Gross.
Sheldon: I don't make the rules. I just know them all.

Meemaw: Are you disappointed this isn't more like some old cop show?
Dale: I loved Rockford Files.
Meemaw: Well, I tell you what, when he gets here, you're my muscle. If anything goes sideways, you jump in.
Dale: See, now you're talking. I'll stand behind you and I'll crack my knuckles.
Meemaw: With your arthritis?
Dale: It's only bad when it rains.

Sheldon: Next, one Timex brand alarm clock.
Missy: It's yours.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It has a stylish faux-wood finish.
Missy: Fine, I'll take it.
Sheldon: Aw.
Missy: So you want it?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: It's yours.
Sheldon: Thank you. Next, one useful yet educational map of the world trash can.

Meemaw: So I'm thinking dark red, like a speakeasy. And maybe a little bar in the corner.
Dale: Well, you're gonna need a liquor license.
Meemaw: Oh, right. 'Cause I don't want to break the law in my illegal gambling room.

George Jr.: Over here is my bedroom area, for sleeping and whatnot. That's my gym. And last but not least, kitchen and bathroom.
Mary: Georgie, do not use that sink as a bathroom.
George Jr.: Relax. Just number one.

George Jr.: I'm thinking I'll put the flag over that window for, you know, privacy.
Mary: If you want, I could sew some curtains, make it look homey.
George Jr.: Nice. Girls will eat that up.
Mary: Flag is fine.

Joann: Look how many rhinestones fell off in the dryer.
Meemaw: It says right here "do not tumble dry."
Joann: No label's gonna tell me what to do.
Meemaw: I am not in the mood for Texas right now. What do you want from me?
Joann: Well, what size is yours?
Meemaw: No!

Adult Sheldon: I eventually made my peace with having a room to myself. And I was never truly alone, thanks to my science posse: Stephen, Albert, Richard and Arthur. But for those times when I did need to communicate with Missy, we had a system.
[Sheldon pulls on a rope which pulls a lever which knocks on Missy's wall, prompting her to pick up a walkie talkie]
Missy: [over radio] What?
Sheldon: Just testing the system.
Missy: You tested it yesterday.
Sheldon: Just because it worked yesterday doesn't mean it's working today.
Missy: It's working. Good night.
Sheldon: Good night. Sleep tight. [knocking on wall]
Missy: [over radio] What?
Sheldon: Did you know when people say "sleep tight," they're referring to when beds were made of ropes, and the tighter the rope, the more comfortable the bed was to sleep on?
Missy: Cool. Bye.
Adult Sheldon: My sister wasn't always a fan of my informative tidbits, so I didn't tell her that the entire phrase, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" is actually from the book What They Say in New England: A Book of Signs, Sayings, and Superstitions. Until I told her. [knocking on wall]

Adult Sheldon: In astronomy, a syzygy is a rare event when three or more celestial bodies line up.
You may also know it as the stars aligning, which was probably coined by someone who couldn't spell "syzygy." If you want to win Scrabble, remember this bad boy. My father's idea of the stars aligning was having the house completely to himself. I was at school, Missy was at a friend's, Georgie was working, and my mother was on her way to a church retreat.
[elsewhere:]
Mary: [sings] There was a God who had a son, and Jesus was his name-o ?
Pastor Jeff: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Mary: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Pastor Jeff: J-E-S-U-S
Mary: And Jesus was his name-o. [honks horn]
Adult Sheldon: For my father, it was sweet, Southern syzygy. S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y. Syzygy. [doorbell rings]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

Meemaw: You fancy yourself a bit of an entrepreneur, don't you?
George Jr.: I like to think so.
Meemaw: And now that you're not in school anymore, I bet you're wanting to take your career to the next level.
George Jr.: [scoffs] What kind of entrepreneur would I be if I didn't?
Meemaw: Well, this is your lucky day, because I have quite the opportunity. How would you like to manage a business all on your own?
George Jr.: That'd be amazing.
Meemaw: Be your own boss. Call the shots.
George Jr.: Hell, yeah. What is it?
Meemaw: Managing a laundromat.
George Jr.: No way.

George Sr.: Trips left, man in motion. Here comes a pass. [crowd cheers on TV] See that?
Billy Sparks: Now I know where Sheldon gets his brains from.
George Sr.: Congratulations. You're the only person to ever say that.
Billy Sparks: What's gonna happen next?
George Sr.: You gonna get me a beer.
Billy Sparks: Yes, sir.

Sheldon: [o.s.] I'm home.
George Sr.: In here. Watching the game with Billy.
Sheldon: Do you have the number where Mom's staying?
George Sr.: Everything okay?
Sheldon: I need help navigating a situation with Dr. Linkletter.
Billy Sparks: You should ask your dad. He's really smart.
Sheldon: You're the first person who's ever said that.

Meemaw: This is not what I signed up for. I need to get some help in here.
Dale: Well, so, do it.
Meemaw: Great. I'm taking Georgie.
Dale: Georgie? No, he's my best employee.
Meemaw: He's my grandson.
Dale: Well, so what? Sheldon's the smart one. Take him.
Meemaw: Do you want to go out with somebody who's happy and fun or some cranky, old woman who smells like mop?
Dale: All right. All right. Take Georgie.
Meemaw: Thank you. I'm gonna go get myself fixed up.
Dale: I think you look beautiful just the way you are.
Meemaw: Go to hell.

Meemaw: Oh, now, come on. You're perfect for this.
George Jr.: I'm a salesman. There's nothing there to sell.
Meemaw: You got a bunch of bored people with their pockets full of quarters, you can't sell them something? Then you're not the entrepreneur I thought you were.
George Jr.: That ain't gonna work on me.
Meemaw: And this is why you're management material.
George Jr.: Nice try. [walks away]
Meemaw: The place is wall-to-wall girls.
George Jr.: Why didn't you lead with that?

Meemaw: Listen, I need you to help me with this. I don't want to run this dump.
George Jr.: Then why'd you buy it?
Meemaw: [exhales] I'm retired. I thought it might be fun, get me out of the house.
George Jr.: And you picked a laundromat?
Meemaw: It seemed like a better opportunity at the moment.
George Jr.: What happened? You get tricked by a con man?
Meemaw: No.
George Jr.: It's all right. Happens to a lot of people your age.