Meemaw: How you doing?
Mandy: Uh, well, I'm lying in bed and a nice lady just brought me food. It's not the worst.
Meemaw: Well, you haven't tasted it yet. Doctor said no salt.
Mandy: Oh, I'm sure it's great.
Meemaw: I tasted it. It sucks.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George Sr.: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Mary: [sighs] Well, I can take off work and look after y'all.
Meemaw: We're fine.
Mary: Fine? You're on the floor. What happens if you need to use the bathroom?
Meemaw: Depends.
Mary: Depends on what?
Meemaw: [chuckles] No, it's a joke.
Mandy: [laughs] I got it. [both laughing]
Mary: What's the joke? Tell me.

Meemaw: Let me lay here for just a minute.
Mandy: Can I get you some ice or something?
Meemaw: No, no, no. You've got to stay in bed. [exhales]
Mandy: Okay. Well, you look like the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady.
Meemaw: That's because I have fallen and I can't get up. [laughs] Okay, it hurts when I laugh. [laughing]

George Jr.: Oh, that there's a real good one. You should get it. I'll ring it up.
Robert: I don't know.
George Jr.: Don't know? Whoopi Goldberg as a singing nun? What's there to think about?
Robert: I might be more in the mood for action.
George Jr.: She's on the run from the mob. You'll love it. I'll ring it up.