Pastor Jeff: [o.s.] Thank you for saying no to sin!
Mandy: Oh, you got to be kidding me. [walks outside] What are you doing?
Pastor Jeff: We're just asking people to sign our petition if they agree that sin has no place in cinema.
Mandy: Huh. Clever.
Pastor Jeff: Thanks.
Mrs. Howard: And God doesn't want us seeing people's private parts.
Mandy: Didn't he make people's private parts?
Pastor Jeff: He did, and then he made clothes to cover 'em right up.
Mandy: You are scaring away my customers.
Pastor Jeff: You know what's scarier? Hell.
Mandy: Look, you can't just sit here in front of my store.
Mrs. Howard: Freedom of speech. We're allowed.
Mandy: And we're allowed to rent whatever movies we want. People can choose for themselves.
Pastor Jeff: They sure can. If you love God and hate the devil, sign here. [woman signs petition] Where is your halo? 'Cause you are an angel. [chuckles]
Meemaw: Let's just see what the people think about this. [sprays fire extinguisher]
Mandy: Yeah.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George Sr.: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

George Jr.: Dang, it's busy in here for a weekday.
Meemaw: Social Security checks landed.
George Jr.: Hm. Getting paid just to be old... must be nice.
Meemaw: I ain't complaining.

Meemaw: So you're saying we should just give in, after what that holy-rolling Muppet has done to your whole family?
Mandy: He does look like a Muppet.

Mrs. Howard: I can't believe you would rent this filth.
Mandy: It's not filth. It's Basic Instinct.
Mrs. Howard: Well, my husband was watching it and there was a woman in there who showed her hoo-ha.
George Jr.: Yeah, she does.
Mandy: Come on, I mean, you don't see the whole thing. At most, you see a "hoo."
George Jr.: If you see the "hoo," the "ha's" right there.