George Jr.: How's it going? Figure everything out?
Mandy: People give me money, I give them movies. I think I got it.
George Jr.: Smart, pregnant, you're the whole package.

Missy: Do you hate Georgie?
Mandy: No. No, Georgie's a good guy. If anything, I hate myself for making bad decisions.
Missy: Like having sex before marriage?
Mandy: More like having tequila before sex.
Mary: Hey. What's going on here?
Missy: Mandy was just telling me how she got pregnant.
Mandy: No, no...
Missy: But you said...
Mandy: No.
Missy: No.

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

George Jr.: All right, almost there.
Mandy: I don't know about this. The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.

George Jr.: Dang, it's busy in here for a weekday.
Meemaw: Social Security checks landed.
George Jr.: Hm. Getting paid just to be old... must be nice.
Meemaw: I ain't complaining.

Meemaw: So you're saying we should just give in, after what that holy-rolling Muppet has done to your whole family?
Mandy: He does look like a Muppet.

Mrs. Howard: I can't believe you would rent this filth.
Mandy: It's not filth. It's Basic Instinct.
Mrs. Howard: Well, my husband was watching it and there was a woman in there who showed her hoo-ha.
George Jr.: Yeah, she does.
Mandy: Come on, I mean, you don't see the whole thing. At most, you see a "hoo."
George Jr.: If you see the "hoo," the "ha's" right there.