George: So he hasn't been in any of your classes?
Ms. Ingram: Mm-mm, not a one.
Ms. MacElroy: Nope.
George: But I bring him here, I take him home he's got to be somewhere in the building.
Ms. Ingram: Mm, I might've seen him in the library. But at this point, I sometimes think I see him when I'm alone in my house.
Ms. MacElroy: Like that creepy Chucky doll in the movies?
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] Exactly!

[on the "Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College" tape:]
Ms. Ingram: Honestly... teaching Sheldon is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I don't say that because he can be a pain. I say that because he's so intelligent, I had to study every night just to keep up. I'm gonna miss him.

Ms. Ingram: Today we're gonna work on interior angles of a convex polygon. Georgie, where's your brother?
Georgie: I don't know, do you really want him here?
Ms. Ingram: Convex polygons are polygons...

Sheldon: Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yes.
Sheldon: The same Evelyn Ingram who checked out this book?
Ms. Ingram: And why is that your business?
Sheldon: I just assumed you were looking to make a friend.
Ms. Ingram: Oh, well, that was a long time ago. I had just gotten out of a very difficult relationship.
Sheldon: With a friend?
Ms. Ingram: Friend. Ha! I gave that man three years of my life and my innocence.
Sheldon: I don't know what that means.
Ms. Ingram: It means men are lying dogs only interested in one thing-
Sheldon: Well, that's not the dictionary definition.
Ms. Ingram: Mm-hmm. Always starts the same. A quick glance across the room, a casual hand on the shoulder, lunch at Stuckey's. [LAUGHS] Oh, yeah, it's all romance and flowers in the beginning

George: Hey, Hubert. Was Sheldon in class today?
Mr. Givens: Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
George: Weren't you gonna say anything?
Mr. Givens: I didn't want to jinx it.

[Sheldon is chuckling as he stares at a blank screen]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Watching last week's Professor Proton in my mind.

Pastor Jeff: [answering phone] Hello?
Missy: I lied to you. I wasn't watching TV. I was playing with a Ouija board.
Pastor Jeff: Uh, who is this?
Missy: Missy Cooper, and I'm going to hell.
Pastor Jeff: Uh, Missy, you're- You're not gonna go to hell.
Missy: Yes, I am. God knows what I did. He sees everything.
Pastor Jeff: You're right. God does see everything. But He also just saw you be a good Christian and tell the truth. So I promise, your soul is safe.
Missy: You're sure?
Pastor Jeff: I'm sure.
Missy: If you're lying, you're going to hell, too.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sure.
Missy: [sighs] Thank you.