Georgie: You want to hang out Saturday?
Veronica: Can't. I signed up to get baptized.
Georgie: Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to do that.
Veronica: Well, why don't you join me? We could do it together.
Georgie: Sure. You and me, getting double dunked. I like it.
Veronica: Can you imagine afterwards? All of our sins will be washed away.
Georgie: Yeah, and we can start cranking out fresh ones.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Mary: And you. Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking?
Georgie: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

Mary: Georgie, if you want to be a good Christian, maybe you should stop lying through your teeth.
Georgie: Just be happy I brushed them, okay

Pastor Jeff: And I also want to welcome George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
Georgie: Howdy. Praise Jesus.