Sheldon: Uh-oh.
Missy: What?
Sheldon: Listen to this. "French philosopher, mathematician and physicist, Blaise Pascal, argued a rational person should believe God exists because you have everything to gain if you're right, and nothing to lose if you're wrong."
Missy: Sounds right.

Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.

Georgie: What kind of homework is it?
Missy: Grammar.
Georgie: I ain't great with grammar.
Missy: Well, grammar's just talking, and we both talk good.

Missy: There's a list of sentences, and you're supposed to say if each one's a complete sentence or not.
Georgie: The first one is, "Most people in the country". That doesn't sound like a sentence.
Missy: But ask me who drives pickup trucks.
Georgie: Who drives pickup trucks?
Missy: Most people in the country.
Georgie: Well, now it does sound like one.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

Sheldon: We're going to jail.
Missy: Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped.
Sheldon: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
Georgie: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail.

Adult Sheldon: I've often been asked why I never learned to drive a car. This night is your answer.