George: Wow, Tom, I... I don't know what to say.
Principal Petersen: You can say no and stay here.
George: Well, I sure ain't saying that. [chuckles] But moving to Houston... that's a big deal.
Principal Petersen: That's why I wanted to give you a heads-up, so you and Mary could talk before they make the offer.
George: Appreciate that.
Principal Petersen: Congratulations, George. I've always believed in you.
George: What about that time you fired me?
Principal Petersen: We're having a nice moment, do you have to?

Principal Petersen: I got a buddy who coaches at Rice who was asking about you.
George: Great college. So, what'd you tell him?
Principal Petersen: Well, I told him you wouldn't be interested, you're pretty happy here.
George: What? Why would you do that?
Principal Petersen: So you're not happy here?
George: No, of course I'm happy here, it's just...
Principal Petersen: Aw, I'm just messing with you. [chuckles] I told them you'd be a fantastic coach and they'd be crazy not to take you.

George: Hey, Tom, you wanted to see me?
Principal Petersen: Uh, yeah, why don't you close the door.
George: That always makes me nervous.
Principal Petersen: No, it's good.
George: Then why can't the door stay open?
Principal Petersen: Fine, leave it open.
George: Eh, I already closed it. So, what's up?
Principal Petersen: Well, George, you've had a hell of a season.
George: [scoffs] Now I wish the door was open.

Sheldon: I'm pretty booked up, but I'll try and pencil you in if time permits.
Mary: I bought the outfits, I booked the photographer. You're doing it.
George: Doing what?
Missy: That bluebonnet photo.
George: Aw, come on. I don't want to.
Missy: If he doesn't have to...
Mary: We are all doing it, and we're all gonna be happy whether you like it or not.

Mary: Well, make sure you leave room for the family photo, because that is definitely happening before you go away.
Missy: Seriously? That bluebonnet thing? That is so lame.
Mary: It is not lame. It is a Texas tradition.
Adult Sheldon: For those of you who don't know what my mother is talking about, it's this and this and all these. Forcing your family to dress in matching outfits and be photographed in a field of fire ants and bees is a traditional Texas torture dating back to the Great Depression. Are they depressed because of financial ruin? No, it's the picture.

Sheldon: There's still so much to do before I go: write my graduation speech, last trip to the comic book store, last lunch with Tam at the high school.
Mary: I didn't know you and Tam were still friends.
Sheldon: Why would you think that?
Mary: Because you never see him.
Sheldon: My favorite kind of friend.

Sheldon: Only 42 days until I go to Caltech.
Mary: That can't be right.
Missy: Oh, it is. It's in my calendar, too.
Mary: You don't have to be so excited about it.
Missy: It's a little late to pretend that I like him.

Mary: [yawns] I'm going to bed. You coming?
George: Nah, I think I'm just gonna stay here.
Mary: You sure you're okay?
George: Yeah, I'll be fine.
Mary: Look at us. It's 9:00, I'm exhausted. [George chuckles] You got hurt watching other people exercise. [laughs] I can't believe I thought we could handle another baby.
George: [sighs] Really?
Mary: Oh. CeeCee's all we need.
George: Well, if that's how you feel, I support it.
Mary: Good night.
George: Hey, before you go... could you swap me out?
Mary: Broccoli or corn?
George: Surprise me.
[As Mary walks away with the frozen vegetables, George looks down at his crotch and sighs]

Dr. John Sturgis: So wait a minute. Are you saying that the particle should be understood as a sequence of functions executed in a manifold?
Dr. Linkletter: He said it, not me.
Sheldon: Actually, that's correct.
Dr. Linkletter: We were both thinking it. That's what's important.
Sheldon: So that would mean...
Dr. Linkletter: Gravity is just the residue of forces within manifolds?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Dr. Linkletter: Telling?
Sheldon: You're right.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh. [John and Linkletter high-five]

Mary: Is it your...
George: Groin, yeah.
Mary: Let me run you a warm bath. I bet that'll help.
George: Oh, I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a while... and not take a shower for two to three days.
Mary: I'll get you some BENGAY.
George: No, no! No.
Mary: Heating pad?
George: I'm good. Got my peas. Just need to sit. [airy, prolonged groaning...]
Mary: You sure you're okay?
George: Oh, yeah, right as rain. [groans]

[George lumbers into the kitchen, opens the freezer, takes out a bag of frozen peas and applies it to his crotch]
Missy: You don't do that to all the food, do you?
George: I got hurt at practice.
Missy: Blow your whistle too hard?
George: Funny.
Missy: Well, you make it easy.
Mary: George, what happened?
George: Pulled a muscle at practice.
Missy: [o.s.] Also, I'm never eating peas again.

Adult Sheldon: My meemaw made me realize that Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis' failure to learn string theory was my failure as a teacher. Perhaps the knuckles that really needed to be rapped were my own.
Sheldon: Ow! Lesson learned. [knock at door]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, we'd like you to teach us again.
Meemaw: [v.o.] Understanding and patience.
♪ Everybody hurts... ♪
Sheldon: All right, dummkopfs, let's do this.
♪ Sometimes ♪

Dr. Linkletter: Clearly, we're not too old to learn things.
Dr. John Sturgis: And there's no shame in needing a little help.
Dr. Linkletter: Yeah!
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah!
Dr. Linkletter: But does it have to be Sheldon?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.

Dr. Linkletter: 26 dimensions. In what world are there 26 dimensions?
Dr. John Sturgis: When I was an undergraduate, we made fun of the old professors who didn't understand the theory of mesons.
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Me, too. I told my thesis advisor, "I'm surprised you don't understand the physics of time. You were here for the dawn of it." [both laugh]
Dr. John Sturgis: And now, we've become them.
Dr. Linkletter: I wish. My mentor was a Fields Medal winner, taught at Princeton. What have I done?
Dr. John Sturgis: You wrote that article on the positron.
Dr. Linkletter: I did. I was the belle of the physics ball that year. And you... you've lectured all over the world.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can ask for Pepto Bismol in 16 languages. Boro na, eho ligo Pepto-Bismol? [laughs] That was Greek.

Coach Wilkins: I can't believe you did it without telling your wife.
George: I didn't call you for a lecture, Wayne. I called you for a ride.
Coach Wilkins: Which you needed 'cause you had a vasectomy without telling Mary.
George: I only went down there to ask some questions, and they had an opening.
Coach Wilkins: So you said, "Get in there, start snipping!"
George: I panicked! Mary was looking at baby pictures.
Coach Wilkins: Oh. Clearly, you had no choice.
George: I'm in a lot of pain here, Wayne. You're not helping.
Coach Wilkins: What do you think she's gonna say when she finds out?
George: She's not gonna find out.
Coach Wilkins: You can barely walk. You think she's not gonna notice?
George: You have any idea how much sitting I do at home?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, I can imagine. I do work with you.
George: [sighs] Hey, watch out for that... pothole.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, I saw it.