Herschel Sparks: I appreciate that, but you got to know there's an upside to this.
George Sr.: And that would be?
Herschel Sparks: Your son has got a special gift.
George Sr.: A gift? We are talking about Georgie, right?
Herschel Sparks: Yeah. I mean, first off, the kid really knows his way around an engine, which is all well and good. But when it comes to fixing tires, I swear, I've never seen anything like him.
George Sr.: Tires? How do you mean?
Herschel Sparks: George, I've been patching flats for 25 years. You know, slap some soapy water on them, look for the air bubble. But your son, he doesn't need any tricks. He knows where the puncture holes are.
George Sr.: He knows?
Herschel Sparks: He knows. He's got a sixth sense for tire damage. I mean, you got to see him in action. It'll give you chills.
George Sr.: You know, now that you say it, whenever we had a leaky football, he knew exactly where the hole was.
Herschel Sparks: I am telling you, your boy's got a future in the tire business. Goodyear, Firestone, somebody's gonna scoop him up first round.

Herschel Sparks: Sorry about the light beer, but Brenda's got me on this health kick.
George Sr.: You are melting away.
Herschel Sparks: Shut up.

Adult Sheldon: I've fought many digital battles in my life, but none are as memorable as this first one with my Meemaw. By handing me the controller, she was telling me she believed in me. That inside my small, fragile frame beat the heart of a hero.

Meemaw: Would you like to fight the last boss?
Sheldon: You think I'm ready?
Meemaw: We couldn't have gotten here without you.
Sheldon: Well, except for the part you did when I was sleeping.
Meemaw: We're having a moment here. Don't ruin it.

Coach Wilkins: I didn't see your kid at practice today. Everything all right?
George Sr.: Not really. ... That's it? You're not gonna ask me what's going on?
Coach Wilkins: I just did. You shut me out.
George Sr.: Well, it doesn't mean you can't persist a little.
Coach Wilkins: You know, this is the kind of crap I get from my wife. I do not need it from you.
George Sr.: Sorry. [SNIFFLES] You're really not gonna ask?

Sheldon: This is hooky, Meemaw. Hooky is a serious offense.
Meemaw: You're messing with me, right? Any other kid would be thrilled their grandma took them out of school to play a video game.
Sheldon: You've known me ten years. When have I ever messed with you?

Announcer: Will Sheldon Cooper please come to the main office?
[STUDENTS OOHING]
Sheldon: "Ooh," what?

Meemaw: I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother and, uh, I need to take him out of school today.
Diane: Sure. What's the reason?
Meemaw: His Aunt Emelda's not doing well, and has asked to see him 'fore she goes.
Diane: Oh, I am so sorry. Does she want to see his older brother also?
Meemaw: Nah. She doesn't like him as much.

George Sr.: Your mother's taking him to school.
Sheldon: That's not very efficient. Our car's already going there.
George Sr.: Not that it's any of your business, but I needed a break from your brother.
Sheldon: I certainly understand that. He's an acquired taste. Like Grape-Nuts. The first time I tried it, I thought I was eating gravel. But then I put a little sugar on it and let it get soggy. Now it's in my top six cereals.
George Sr.: I'll try soaking Georgie in a bowl of milk.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
George Sr.: Yeah.
Sheldon: I had a feeling. The clue was you don't normally put people in bowls of milk.

Sheldon: Where's Georgie?
George Sr.: Don't worry about it.
Sheldon: I wasn't worried. I was practicing chitchat.

Meemaw: Binoculars for his birthday. What was I thinking?

Sheldon: That fibber. [calling Meemaw] You're playing the game right now.
Meemaw: I am not.
Sheldon: I saw you with my binoculars.
Meemaw: Oh. How about that.
Sheldon: You promised not to play without me. We're a team. Emelda Showmen, remember?
Meemaw: I'm turning off the game and going to sleep right now.
Sheldon: You'd better. I love you, good night.

Meemaw: Hello?
Sheldon: Meemaw. I'm sorry for waking you, but I know how to kill the cyclops. We have to play the piccolo.
Meemaw: Ooh. What a great idea, moonpie. We'll try it tomorrow.
Sheldon: Excellent. Wait, how'd you answer your phone so fast? It's not next to your bed.
Meemaw: Uh, well, actually, I was on my way to the bathroom. You know us old people and our bladders.

Adult Sheldon: Even while sleeping, my quest to save the princess continued, which was quite a departure from my usual dreams, such as determining the coolest prime number Which, by the way, is 73.

George Sr.: You really want to quit football to go work in a garage?
George Jr.: Hell yeah.
George Sr.: I thought you loved the game.
George Jr.: I do, but look at me. I weigh 125 pounds.
George Sr.: That's not important.
George Jr.: It's not? Every time I get tackled, somebody's got to run over with smelling salts just to wake me back up.
George Sr.: Well, this isn't your decision. You're gonna play football.
George Jr.: You can't make me.
George Sr.: Oh yeah? Wait and see.
George Jr.: Screw this.

Sheldon: I also found us extra life points inside a demon.
Mary: There are demons in this game?
Sheldon: Don't worry, Meemaw cut his head off.

Mary: How old are you?
Meemaw: [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
Mary: And I got my answer.

Mary: Hello?
Meemaw: What?
Mary: It's past his bedtime. Let's go.
Meemaw: Oh, come on, five more minutes?
Mary: No. Now say good night to your grandson. You'll play with him again tomorrow.
Meemaw: Goodnight, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Goodnight, Meemaw.

George Jr.: Too bad he didn't know Herschel. He can fix anything. Guy's a genius.
George Sr.: You mean a car genius.
Missy: Is Dad getting his feelings hurt? "Yes." The ball don't lie.

George Jr.: So me and Herschel dropped the engine on this Pacer today. It was so cool.
George Sr.: I had a buddy in high school had a Pacer with the flames painted on the side, which was funny 'cause the damn thing caught fire during the Homecoming parade