Dr. John Sturgis: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Dr. John Sturgis: I was hoping I could pick your brain about some of the latest breakthroughs in string theory. And, uh, maybe we keep this between us. Uh, Dr. Linkletter doesn't need to know. [Sheldon opens his door wider] Grant?
Dr. Linkletter: John.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't believe you went to Sheldon behind my back.
Dr. Linkletter: You're doing the same exact thing.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah, well, you did it first!
Sheldon: In or out? I don't have all night. [John flashes a quick smile and walks in]

Missy: [enters] I'm home! Oh, no, did Dad fall?
George: No, I'm bonding with the baby.
Mary: Isn't she the cutest?
George: Hmm.
Missy: Want to know what else is cute? Another piercing right up here.
George: No.
Missy: Why? Heather just got one.
Mary: I thought you and Heather were fighting.
Missy: Yeah, middle school's complicated.
George: You're not getting another piercing.
Missy: It's my ear.
Mary: We made that ear. It's our ear.
Missy: I hate this house. [exits]
George: I miss when she couldn't talk. [Mary sighs]

Mary: I asked you to get her bottle, not yours.
George: Two birds, Mare.
Mary: [sighs] Get down here and feed her with me.
George: Why?
Mary: 'Cause that's how you bond.
George: [sighs] All right. You're gonna have to get me back up. [groans] Cheers.

Mary: Say "Nana." Nana. Na-na.
George: Ain't she a little young for that, Mare?
Adult Sheldon: For the record, I said my first word at four months. It was "hypotenuse."

Dr. John Sturgis: Okay, how about this? We take one of these papers, buckle down and figure it out together.
Dr. Linkletter: Teamwork, I like it. [John chuckles]
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh.
Dr. Linkletter: Actually, could you move it a bit closer? That's a little fuzzy.
Dr. John Sturgis: Uh... Now it's fuzzy for me.
Dr. Linkletter: Put on your cheaters.
Dr. John Sturgis: I forgot them on the bus.
Dr. Linkletter: I have an extra pair, would you like them?
Dr. John Sturgis: That would be lovely.
Dr. Linkletter: Teamwork. [both chuckle]

Dr. John Sturgis: Is it possible that we're too old to learn new things?
Dr. Linkletter: Nonsense. This would have been over my head even as a young man.
Dr. John Sturgis: Maybe we just need someone to explain it to us.
Dr. Linkletter: Are you talking about Sheldon?
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sure he'd be happy to help.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he's smarter than us.
Dr. John Sturgis: But he is smarter than us.
Dr. Linkletter: I know that and you know that, but he can never know that.

Dr. John Sturgis: Grant. I finished reading Ed Witten's article on the Landau-Ginzburg orbifold.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm almost done with one on Planckian scattering.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know why we were so reluctant to dive into these new theories.
Dr. Linkletter: Agreed.
Dr. John Sturgis: Exciting stuff.
Dr. Linkletter: Thrilling.
Dr. John Sturgis: So thrilling.
Dr. Linkletter: A little hard to parse.
Dr. John Sturgis: A bit enigmatic.
Dr. Linkletter: I had to read the same paragraph four times.
Dr. John Sturgis: I fell asleep on one paper, drooled all over it.
Dr. Linkletter: Huh.

Georgie: Alrighty. Bye, baby.
Mandy: Bye, honey. Be good.
Mary: Oh, she'll be an angel for Nana and Grampy.
George: Grampy? I didn't sign off on that.
Mandy: Okay, let's go, I want to get this nap started.
Georgie: See you, Grampy.

Mary: Well, we are so happy to babysit. In fact, if you want to go to dinner after the movie, that's fine with us.
Mandy: Aw, thanks, but we're trying to save money.
Mary: George, give them some money so they can go to dinner.
George: [quietly] We're already babysitting for free.
Mary: But we never get to see this little one, because her mean Mommy and Daddy moved her away.
Mandy: Well, Mommy and Daddy have their own bathroom now, so...
George: Oh, that's the dream right there.

George: So, uh, what movie y'all going to see?
Georgie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
George: Mandy, you want to see that?
Mandy: I don't care, I'm gonna be asleep before the lights go down.

Mandy: Hi.
Mary: Oh, come to Nana.
Mandy: There you go.
Mary: Oh, you got so big.
Georgie: I said that to her when she was pregnant. No bueno.

Dr. Linkletter: Okay, that won't be necessary. We may be out of the loop on this stuff, but we can catch up.
Dr. John Sturgis: Agreed! We can be up to speed in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
Dr. Linkletter: Don't say that. You sound old.
Dr. John Sturgis: Lickety-split?
Dr. Linkletter: Better.
Dr. John Sturgis: Lickety-split.

President Hagemeyer: So, this is the new physics curriculum I've developed for next year.
Dr. John Sturgis: Introduction to nonlinear sigma models? That's some pretty advanced stuff.
President Hagemeyer: And that's the point. Sheldon may be leaving, but we can attract the next brilliant mind if we stay on the cutting edge.
Dr. Linkletter: Couldn't agree more. In fact, John, why don't you take point on that nonlinear class and I'll teach, uh... Oh, so much here I've heard of. Which one do I pick?
President Hagemeyer: All right, if this material is too challenging for you, maybe I should rethink my faculty.
Dr. John Sturgis: What are you saying?
President Hagemeyer: Well, legally I can't say that I'm replacing you with someone younger, so I'm not saying that. Legally.
Dr. Linkletter: Nice try, but I have tenure.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't.
Dr. Linkletter: Tough luck.
President Hagemeyer: Another thing I'm not saying is that I'm going to put your office at the top of a flight of very steep stairs.

President Hagemeyer: Sheldon, I appreciate this, but, uh, we have an excellent faculty here, and they are quite capable of devising their own curriculum without your help.
Sheldon: I suppose I could spin East Texas Tech as a hardship I had to overcome, like a hunchback or a club foot.
President Hagemeyer: [quietly] 54 days.
Sheldon: I know. I'm going to miss this, too.
President Hagemeyer: Mm.

President Hagemeyer: So, what am I supposed to do with this?
Sheldon: Just because I won't be here doesn't mean I won't forever be associated with this university. And it would be nice if people looked at my résumé and said "East Texas Tech," not "East Texas Tech."
President Hagemeyer: You said those the exact same way.
Sheldon: Really? In my head, the second one was dripping with scorn. "East Texas Tech." How was that?
President Hagemeyer: Dripping.
Sheldon: Mm.