Dorothy: Back then, gas was only 20 cents a gallon.
George Jr.: Mm-hmm. Not that we had anyplace worthwhile to drive to.
George Jr.: Did you say Veronica would be back soon?
Dorothy: I'm sure it'll be just any minute. Let me show you my collection of antique bells. [rings a bell in his face]
George Jr.: Please stop.

Meemaw: We're back.
George Sr.: How'd it go?
Meemaw: She made the team!
Mary: Congratulations!
Missy: And Meemaw got a date with the coach.
Mary: What?
Meemaw: It was a productive afternoon.

Meemaw: Fire it in there, baby.
Missy: I'm scared.
Meemaw: Meemaw has just made a scene. Now is not the time to be scared!
Dale: Are we gonna do this today?
Meemaw: Keep your pants on! [to Missy] Throw the damn ball. I'm just a girl, but I think that's called a strike.
Dale: Not bad.

Meemaw: Can I talk to you?
Dale: Yeah.
Meemaw: You tell my granddaughter she can't play baseball?
Dale: Oh, well, I was just looking out for her, that's all.
Meemaw: Is that so?
Dale: Yes, ma'am, it is.
Meemaw: Well, we don't need you deciding what's best for her.
Dale: Uh-huh. What do you need?
Meemaw: I need you to give her the same chance you would a boy!
Dale: Or what?
Meemaw: Or you and me gonna have problems.
Dale: Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?
Meemaw: No, we wouldn't.

Sheldon: Are you all right?
Missy: Leave me alone.
Sheldon: Was there a written test, and you couldn't remember what I told you?
Missy: No.
Meemaw: You want to be on that baseball team?
Missy: Yes, but the coach said-
Meemaw: I don't care what he said get your glove, let's go.
Missy: Okay.
Sheldon: Missy.
Missy: What?
Sheldon: Do good baseball.

Mary: By the way, don't send Georgie to the store anymore to get you beer.
Meemaw: He snitched on me? Well, he tried to steal one.

Dorothy: Oh, and this is me and my cousin Glen. No, no, wait. Is that Russell or Glen? No, I'm pretty sure that's Glen.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.

George Sr.: At least let her throw a few. She got a hell of an arm.
Dale: George, you're a football coach, right?
George Sr.: Mm-hmm.
Dale: You gonna put a girl on your team?
George Sr.: It's different. It's a contact sport.
Dale: So is this. She gets up to bat, and someone deliberately throws a ball at her, it's gonna make contact.
George Sr.: You're not even gonna give her a chance?
Dale: No.
George Sr.: Come on, let's get out of here. I'm sorry, honey.
Missy: It's not your fault.
Dale: Bye-bye.

George Sr.: Missy, give us a minute.
Missy: No, I want to hear.
Dale: Look, sweetheart, I just think it's great you want to be on the team, but these boys are gonna eat you alive.
Missy: I'm not afraid of them.
Dale: Well, maybe you should be.

George Sr.: You want to see what she can do?
Dale: I want to see her go home.
George Sr.: Sorry?
Dale: Come on, I'm not gonna put a girl on the team.
George Sr.: Why not?
Dale: Why not? She's a girl. She's got pigtails.

Mary: I'm starting to worry about you.
Meemaw: I just had a little too much to drink. So what?
Mary: If you're upset about Dr. Sturgis, that's okay.
Meemaw: I'm not upset. I don't care.
Mary: So you don't care that I saw him last night?
Meemaw: No. I hope he's great.
Mary: Okay.
Meemaw: Is he great?
Mary: He seemed okay.
Meemaw: Tell it to somebody who cares.

Sheldon: Are you going for your baseball tryout?
Missy: Yup.
Sheldon: Will it include a written test?
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Well, just in case, here are some baseball facts that may come in handy. It was invented in the 1830s. The first officially recorded game was in 1846, and that game took place in Hoboken, New Jersey.
Missy: I won't need to know that.
Sheldon: Well, now you do, and you'll never forget it.
Missy: Already gone.

George Sr.: [shouting] Missy, five minutes!
Meemaw: Oh. Can you please?
George Sr.: Oh. Sorry. Been there. [shouting] She's hungover! Wants us to keep it down!

Meemaw: I need coffee.
Mary: You need a shower.

Meemaw: The best thing is for you to just forget about this Veronica girl.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: You should be playing the field, just like a bumblebee going from flower to flower.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: And don't get confused about all this love nonsense. Your freedom is the only thing that matters.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: Be a sweet boy and get Meemaw a towel.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.

Dr. John Sturgis: I'm glad she's doing well. Tell her I say hi.
Mary: I will do that.
Dr. John Sturgis: Actually, no. Uh, tell her I said hello. "Hi" is a bit, uh, casual. Or wait. Greetings. Just say, uh, "Greetings from John."
Mary: You don't sound sure about that.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, I don't.

Meemaw: Relationships are a waste of time. Flying solo is the only way to go.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: Do you think Tarzan was happy with Jane? No way. He was happy swinging through the trees.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: The Statue of Liberty she's got her book and her torch, and she's good.
George Jr.: Uh-huh.

Dr. John Sturgis: So, uh, how's Connie?
Sheldon: Actually...
Mary: Sheldon, why don't you go save me a seat?
Sheldon: Smart. The front row is a hot ticket.
Mary: Anyway, uh, Mom's good.
Dr. John Sturgis: Because she's usually the one who brings Sheldon.
Mary: Well, she's been pretty busy lately.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, hello, Sheldon. Hello, Mary. I don't think I've ever seen you here before.
Mary: It's my first time.
Sheldon: I took her on a tour.
Mary: It was extremely thorough.

George Jr.: Got your beer.
Meemaw: They give you any problem?
George Jr.: Nah. Change.
Meemaw: You keep it. Hey. I may be too drunk to drive, but I still can count to six. [chuckles]