Jim Quote #17
Quote from Jim in the episode Community Service and the Key to a Happy Marriage
Jim: Why are you arguing with her?
Georgie: What? I was just trying to be a good husband, and take Mandy's side.
Jim: Okay, you know a great time to take Mandy's side? When you're alone with Mandy. And when you're with Audrey...
Georgie: Take Audrey's side.
Jim: Okay, there's hope for you. When you're alone with me in a closet, feel free to speak your mind.
Georgie: Seems a little complicated.
Jim: Oh, it is.
Jim Quotes
Quote from the episode A Baby Shower and Testosterone-Rich Banter
Mary: Hi, Jim.
Jim: Hey, Mary. Good to see you. You looking for some tires?
Mary: Actually, I'm looking for your wife.
Jim: Oh. You're not gonna yell at her again, are you?
Mary: No, no.
Jim: Okay, you sure about that? 'Cause I wouldn't mind seeing it.
Quote from the episode Community Service and the Key to a Happy Marriage
Georgie: Yeah, life would be so much easier if they just realized how alike they are.
Jim: Don't say that. Don't ever say that.
Georgie: We're alone in a closet. You said I could speak my mind.
Jim: Yeah, yeah, but not that.
Georgie: So where?
Jim: Nowhere. They, uh... they'll know.
Quote from the episode Funeral
Audrey: Mary. We're so sorry.
Mary: Thank you.
Jim: Well, I didn't know him long, but, uh, I loved that guy.
Georgie: [nods] He felt like y'all were long-lost friends.
Jim: [voice breaking] Oh, here we go.
Mandy: Come on, let's get you some Kleenex.
‘Community Service and the Key to a Happy Marriage’ Quotes
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: [knocks] Hi, I'm Connie Tucker. I'm supposed to be reporting to my probation officer?
Officer Rhonda Thomason: You found her. Come on in.
[Meemaw moves slowly into the room with the aid of a crutch.]
Meemaw: Sorry I'm a little late. Not moving very fast today. Oof.
Officer Rhonda Thomason: Weren't you arrested running from the police?
Meemaw: Well, I have my good days.
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: Are we done?
Mary: What's your hurry?
Missy: It's paternity test day on Ricki Lake and I'm missing it.
Sheldon: If people paid more attention of what belongs where, there'd be no need for paternity tests.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: That doesn't go there.
Missy: Doesn't matter.
Sheldon: Canned beans next to jarred preserves?
Missy: Who cares?
Sheldon: I care.
Missy: Well, no one cares that you care.
Sheldon: I'm someone. And I care that I care. And I care that I care that I care.