Amber: Since we're being so honest, I should tell you... I didn't really think Pauly Shore was funny.
George Jr.: What?
Amber: Yeah. I just said it 'cause I wanted to talk to you again.
George Jr.: [smiles] So, I didn't scare you off?
Amber: Look, it's strange, but I've got stuff, too.
George Jr.: Like what?
Amber: Well, I can't believe I'm saying this on a first date, but I'm going through a divorce.
George Jr.: Huh. I'm sorry. How long were you married?
Amber: A year.
George Jr.: Ooh, a whole year. Sounds like you really gave it a try. [Amber laughs] Do you still have feelings for him?
Amber: Do you still have feelings for her?
George Jr.: Mm, I asked you first.
Amber: It's complicated.
George Jr.: Boy, is it. I went to two full-grown men for advice. Neither of 'em had a clue.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Sheldon: Mom.
Mary: [wakes up] What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I know you had some questions about Star Trek, so I've compiled a detailed guide outlining all the shows, characters, and how they fit in a timeline.
Mary: Can we do this later? I've got a headache.
Sheldon: Unfortunately not. If we don't do it now, you'll be completely lost when we watch The Animated Series this afternoon.
Mary: Just 20 more minutes.
Sheldon: Mom, this is almost a hundred pages. We have to get started. In the 23rd century, alien races from around the galaxy have come together to form the United Federation of Planets, which is... open your eyes... Headquartered in San Francisco.

Sheldon: Since when is it Pancake Sunday?
Mary: Since today.
Sheldon: No, it's not. It's Kellogg's Bran Buds Sunday, like it's been for the past three years.
Mary: Well, I thought it would be fun. I'll- I'll make you any kind of pancake you want.
Sheldon: On Bran Buds Sunday?
Mary: Fine. I'll put Bran Buds in the pancakes.
Sheldon: That could work.
[cut to Mary watching Sheldon eat at the kitchen table:]
Sheldon: [mouth full] It doesn't work. [spits out food]

Mary: Hey, Missy, you awake? [knocks] It's Pancake Sunday.
Missy: [opens door] What's that?
Mary: Well, it's a fun new thing I thought we could... Where are you going?
Missy: I told you. Six Flags with Jamie's family.
Mary: Oh. Well, I could make you pancakes first.
Missy: Pancakes and roller coasters? Do you want me to barf?
Mary: Well, no.