President Hagemeyer: All right, just hold on. This is good for the university. This isn't about everybody getting a piece of the pie.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, really? In that contract, does she get a piece of the pie?
Ken: Uh...
President Hagemeyer: Don't answer that, attorney-client whatever.
Ken: Uh, technically my services are paid for by the uni...
President Hagemeyer: Shut up, Ken.

Dr. Linkletter: I cannot work with that creepy little know-it-all one more day.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, but are we talking about Sheldon or Sturgis?
Dr. Linkletter: Sturgis. Well, both, but mostly Sturgis.
[cut to:]
Dr. John Sturgis: He's not interested in anyone else's input.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, Sheldon or Linkletter?
Dr. John Sturgis: Linkletter.
President Hagemeyer: Ah, got it. Continue.

Sheldon: So, as you can see on the chart on page 34, the amount of time spent searching for grants would be cut by 80%. Do you see what this could do for the scientific community?
President Hagemeyer: Yes. [gasps] We could charge an access fee to every university on the planet, and I can retire on a yacht in the Bahamas.
Sheldon: You're missing the point.
President Hagemeyer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, good for science. I love it.

Dr. John Sturgis: I was brought in to help but Dr. Linkletter doesn't value my input.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, I hear you. That must be tough.
[cut to:]
Dr. Linkletter: Ever since he was brought back, he contradicts everything I say.
President Hagemeyer: I hear you. That must be tough.
[cut to:]
Sheldon: There was a time when their arguing brought out the best in them, but now it's just hindering our work.
President Hagemeyer: I hear you. That must be tough.

George Jr.: Dang, it's busy in here for a weekday.
Meemaw: Social Security checks landed.
George Jr.: Hm. Getting paid just to be old... must be nice.
Meemaw: I ain't complaining.

Meemaw: So you're saying we should just give in, after what that holy-rolling Muppet has done to your whole family?
Mandy: He does look like a Muppet.

Mrs. Howard: I can't believe you would rent this filth.
Mandy: It's not filth. It's Basic Instinct.
Mrs. Howard: Well, my husband was watching it and there was a woman in there who showed her hoo-ha.
George Jr.: Yeah, she does.
Mandy: Come on, I mean, you don't see the whole thing. At most, you see a "hoo."
George Jr.: If you see the "hoo," the "ha's" right there.