Brenda Sparks: How did Missy do?
Mary: I think Missy had the best day of her life.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, thank God. Tell me everything.
Mary: Well, in one class she sits between her friends, so the note-passing goes through her.
Brenda Sparks: She's gonna get the dirt firsthand. That's huge.
Mary: And then an eighth-grade boy talked to her at lunch.
Brenda Sparks: On the first day?
Mary: Uh-huh.
Brenda Sparks: She's gonna be prom queen. I'm calling it.
Mary: That's fun, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Brenda Sparks: Mary, it'll be a miracle if Billy even makes it to high school. Don't take this away from me.
Mary: Missy is gonna look so cute in that tiara.
Brenda Sparks: Yes, she is.

Mary: Shelly and this college stuff is killing me. I... I never went to college. How can I prepare him?
Brenda Sparks: Mary, if that kid is smart enough to have colleges wanting him already, he's got to be smart enough to figure it out.
Mary: Maybe. It still hurts to hear him say he wants to leave.
Brenda Sparks: I bet. On the other hand, I'm worried my Billy will never be ready to leave.
Mary: Oh, of course he will.
Brenda Sparks: Damn. Smoking, drinking, lying. You're covering all the sins today.

Mary: So, George is mad at me, and Sheldon is mad at me, and... honestly, I'm mad at me, too.
Brenda Sparks: Will you please give yourself a break? All that you do for that family, I am surprised you didn't crack years ago.
Mary: How do you handle it all?
Brenda Sparks: I'm sitting in a chicken coop drinking a wine cooler at 11:00 a.m.... clearly, I don't.

Mary: Hey, Brenda.
Brenda Sparks: She didn't want you to walk her in?
Mary: No. How about Billy?
Brenda Sparks: Oh, I walked him in. Found his homeroom. Explained that "homeroom" is different than his room at home. Still not sure he gets it.
Mary: Tough day.
Brenda Sparks: Yeah.
Mary: You want to get some coffee?
Brenda Sparks: I was thinking vodka, but coffee will do.

Sheldon: I stopped at the library today and picked up books on epistemology, Descartes's dream argument and the foundations of scientific logic. Do you know what she's going to do?
Meemaw: Rue the day?
Sheldon: The day, the night. If it's rue-able, she's going to rue it.

Missy: And at lunch, an eighth-grade boy said, and I quote, "I like Funyuns, too."
Mary: Wow.
Missy: I know.

Mary: Hey, Brenda.
Brenda Sparks: She didn't want you to walk her in?
Mary: No. How about Billy?
Brenda Sparks: Oh, I walked him in. Found his homeroom. Explained that "homeroom" is different than his room at home. Still not sure he gets it.
Mary: Tough day.
Brenda Sparks: Yeah.
Mary: You want to get some coffee?
Brenda Sparks: I was thinking vodka, but coffee will do.