George Jr.: Okay, when you're telling a lie, it's important to throw in some details. Like, when I was wanted to spend the night at Ricky's house, and Mom asked me if his mom and dad were gonna be home, I said, not only are they be gonna be home, his dad was gonna teach us how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
Sheldon: I like turkey legs. Were they good?
George Jr.: There weren't any turkey legs, you dope. His parents were in Branson.
Sheldon: That's incredible. I totally believed you.
George Jr.: Details. Now get out of here, I got to finish reading this.
Sheldon: Thank you, Georgie, that was very helpful.

Sheldon: When you cheated on the math test, what was your strategy?
George Jr.: Well, I guess the most important part was not stepping on anything wet before the test. And not getting an "A."
Sheldon: Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
George Jr.: 'Cause that would raise suspicions. Who would believe I got an "A"?
Sheldon: Wow. Tell me more.

George Jr.: What do you want?
Sheldon: It occurs to me you have something in common with Captain Kirk.
George Jr.: We both have cool hair?
Sheldon: In order to succeed, you both play fast and loose with the rules.
George Jr.: Yeah, I suppose we do.

Sheldon: Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
Meemaw: Well, in my experience, most people stay the miserable bastards they are their whole entire life. But I have seen some folks change.

Meemaw: Ko-Kobayashi Maru. Sounds like something you eat at Benihana's. Have you ever been to one of those? They make you sit with strangers. It's crazy.

Sheldon: Although Kirk is usually the one who saves the Enterprise.
Meemaw: Because he doesn't always follow the rules?
Sheldon: He even cheated on a test when he was a cadet. The Kobayashi Maru.
Meemaw: The what?
Sheldon: Kobayashi Maru. Kirk is a legend because of it.

Sheldon: So what do you think?
Meemaw: I don't think you should let it bother you very much. I mean, there's always gonna be people in this world who are playing fast and loose with the rules. And your brother's one of them.
Sheldon: That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek.
Meemaw: Well, there you go, and he's, like, the main guy on that show.
Sheldon: No, Mr. Spock is the main guy.
Meemaw: I stand corrected.

Sheldon: Georgie cheated on the test.
Meemaw: Oh.
Sheldon: And nothing bad happened. He gets to stay on the football team, Mom and Dad are proud of him, I even got a train for helping.
Meemaw: So you're feeling guilty.
Sheldon: Very much so.
Meemaw: Well, that's a real conundrum.
Sheldon: Have you been reading the Word of the Day calendar I gave you for your birthday?
Meemaw: Indubitably.

Meemaw: Is that your new train?
Sheldon: Yes. It's my reward for helping Georgie pass the math test.
Meemaw: You don't seem too happy about it.
Sheldon: I don't feel like I earned it.
Meemaw: Why not?
Sheldon: Can you keep a secret?
Meemaw: Well, at my age, the question is can I remember one. Try me.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Sheldon: This isn't over.
George Jr.: Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
Sheldon: All right, maybe it's over.

Adult Sheldon: He had me. Somehow, the mullet-headed simpleton had me.

George Jr.: Oh, relax. By passing that test, I get to play football, and you get to go to the train store. Everybody wins.
Sheldon: But what about the truth?
George Jr.: What about it?
Sheldon: It's supposed to set us free.
George Jr.: Who told you that?
Sheldon: The Bible.
George Jr.: Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?
Sheldon: When it helps me win an argument.
George Jr.: The Bible also says honor thy father and thy mother. And if you open your mouth, you're gonna make them sad.

Sheldon: You dirty bird.
George Jr.: What are you doing in here?
Sheldon: You cheated.
George Jr.: No, I didn't.
Sheldon: I'm holding the evidence.
George Jr.: Let me see that. [SPITS] I don't see nothin'.
Sheldon: That's obstruction of justice, as well as disgusting.

Sheldon: So, I guess I have to rethink my abilities. Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
Tam: Georgie didn't pass because of you.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Tam: He cheated. He had the answers written on the bottom of his shoe.
Sheldon: He wouldn't do that. When you cheat in school, you only cheat yourself.
Tam: Where'd you get that?
Sheldon: An inspirational poster outside the boys' room.

Mary: Well, I'm gonna ask Jesus to help you get a good grade on that test.
Sheldon: Shouldn't you have asked him before he took it?
Mary: The man rose from the dead, I think he can fix a test after the fact.
Meemaw: You know, I hear you say things like that, and I wonder if maybe I did have a few too many whiskey sours when you were in my belly.

Sheldon: I don't understand what went wrong. Is there any chance you drank alcohol when you were pregnant with Georgie?
Mary: No!
Meemaw: Well, don't be so high-and-mighty. I drank when I was pregnant with you. You turned out fine.
These days everybody's like, "Don't drink, don't smoke." I swear, Texas is turning into California.

George Sr.: Georgie, how'd you do on that math test today?
George Jr.: It was tough. I don't know.
Sheldon: I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
George Jr.: Me, too.
Mary: That's all right, baby, you tried.
Missy: Yeah. It's okay, baby.

Adult Sheldon: Seeing my brother struggle was difficult for me. As his tutor, I took his failure personally, almost as if I had failed. Which was odd, because I knew how dumb he was.

Sheldon: Ms. Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yeah, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm done.
Ms. Ingram: What?
Sheldon: I enjoyed it very much. I'll take another if you have one.
Ms. Ingram: No, I don't have another one. J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.