George Sr.: What?
Mary: These gentlemen are with the FBI. They want to talk to Sheldon.
George Sr.: What? Y-You fellas must have made a mistake. Sheldon's nine.
FBI Agent #2: Well, someone living at this address recently called a mining operation in Canada and tried to buy uranium.
Mary: Okay, maybe it's not a mistake.

Mary: Can I help you?
FBI Agent #1: Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI. We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper.
Mary: George!
George Sr.: I'm on the can.
Mary: Now!

Tam: I don't understand why it didn't launch.
Sheldon: Me, neither. Evil Nazi scientists did it 50 years ago. How hard could it be?

Tam: So we came to Medford and opened up a convenience store. My parents work 16 hours a day, seven days a week for very little money. [silence]
Sheldon: Well, that was depressing.

Tam: Finally, we were allowed to come to United States and start over in Galveston. My father saved money and bought his own shrimp boat.
Mary: There's a happy ending. Huh? See, kids? When the going gets tough, America provides.
Tam: It did. Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat and chased us away.
George Sr.: You gonna put a good spin on that one?

Tam: We were forced to live in a refugee camp, where the only thing we had to eat were pigeons and rats.
George Jr.: Ha! That's a job for hot sauce.

Tam: When he was released, we escaped on a small boat and spent many weeks at sea dodging Cambodian pirates until we reached Thailand.
Mary: Oh, that's supposed to be a beautiful country. Lovely beaches.
Tam: I wouldn't know.

Tam: So, for many years, my mother and my sisters and I were very poor and very often didn't have much to eat. Then, when he was released-
George Jr.: What'd they teach him at the reeducation camp?
Tam: How to be a communist.
George Jr.: Cool, like in Rambo.

Mary: So, Tam, tell us about your family. What brings y'all to Texas?
Tam: Well, after the American War-
George Sr.: You mean the Vietnam War.
Tam: We call it the American War.
George Sr.: Hmm.
Tam: Anyway, after the war, my father was sent to a reeducation camp because he fought on the wrong side.
George Sr.: You mean our side.
Tam: I was trying to be nice.

Mary: Thank you, God, for this food, and bless the hands that prepared it. And thank you so much for Sheldon's new friend.

Mary: Okay, let's say grace. Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head.
Tam: I'm actually Catholic.
Mary: Oh! Well, that's too bad.

Mary: All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. Barbecued chicken and brisket.
Tam: Thank you.
Mary: Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wiggling around on your plate.

Sheldon: (to George Sr.) Why would you think you knew his mom?

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

George Sr.: So, uh Tam. What kind of name is that?
Tam: Vietnamese, sir.
George Sr.: Sure. You know, I spent a little time over there. Army. Your mom's name isn't Kim-Lee, is it?
Tam: No, sir.
George Sr.: Good. I mean, you know, it's a small country.

Missy: Can I eat in front of the TV?
Mary: No, you can eat in front of Sheldon's friend.
Missy: Aw, fudge.
Mary: I know what "fudge" means, and you are right on the edge, young lady.

Mary: He's here! Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, just a normal dinner.

Sheldon: My mother asked me to ask you if you'd like to join us for dinner.
Tam: Why?
Sheldon: I was hoping you'd know.

Mary: Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you invite your new buddy over for dinner?
Sheldon: Why?

Sheldon: Okay. It was just something I was hoping to do with my new friend.
Mary: Hang on. Uh, yes. It's fine. Ban is lifted.
George Sr.: Mary.
Mary: It's for his friend. He's got a friend. Besides, those could have been rats. Their bodies were so badly burned.