Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.

Georgie: [sings] ♪ The stars at night ♪ ♪ Are big and bright ♪ [claps four times] ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas ♪ ♪ The prairie sky ♪ ♪ Is wide and high ♪ [Georgie and Meemaw clap four times] ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas. ♪ Remember, it's always four claps. Never three, always four.
Meemaw: You know who claps three times? Yankees.
Georgie: And as Texans, we always remember the Alamo.
Meemaw: Otherwise, we might as well just live in Oklahoma. Blech.

Sheldon: I know a way for you to watch whatever you want.
Missy: How?
Sheldon: Your imagination.
Missy: That's stupid.
Sheldon: Did you know there's a German folk song about it?
Missy: Don't.
Sheldon: [sings] ♪ My thoughts will not cater ♪ ♪ To duke or dictator ♪ ♪ No man can deny ♪ ♪ Die gedanken sind frei. ♪ [talks] Where are you going?
Missy: Mom said no music.
Sheldon: [hums melody]

Sheldon: Well, it starts off with Kelly working out on an exercise machine.
Missy: Oh, she's dating Dylan, who was dating her best friend.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. She gets sweatier and sweatier, which I'm assuming is because of the exercise, although it could be the weather. Los Angeles is the land of sun and fun.
Missy: Did she look upset?
Sheldon: Hard to say. She looked sweaty.

Missy: What happens next?
Sheldon: Well, then she and her brother, David, get into a very heated argument over a banana.
Missy: That doesn't sound right.
Sheldon: Well, in the next scene at school, everyone gets quiet when Kelly walks up. I'm assuming it's because of the banana tiff.
Missy: There's no way the episode was about a banana.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, did you watch it?
Missy: What else happened?
Sheldon: Oh, they're also planning Kelly a surprise birthday party.
Missy: Well, that's why they got quiet. How could you not get that?
Sheldon: Well, no one said it out loud.

Missy: You have to pay attention to how they're acting. Their faces and body language.
Sheldon: You mean for subtext?
Missy: Yeah, subtext.
Sheldon: I hate subtext, I prefer text.
Missy: Then just listen to the music. If it's sad, they're sad. It's happy, they're happy.
Sheldon: Interesting. So the music's like a cheat sheet to help read social cues?
Missy: Exactly.
Sheldon: Look at that, spring break and I'm still learning.

Meemaw: All righty, I got everything we need to make chicken-fried steak and mac and cheese and tater tots.
Mandy: Healthy.
Meemaw: You said make his favorite meal. What'd you think that was gonna be, a carrot?

Georgie: I got to go clean her up, she's got old lady lipstick on her head. [to Meemaw] Well, you're an old lady. How do you get that lipstick off? [off Meemaw's look] All right, I'll figure it out myself.

George: What you watching?
Sheldon: Beverly Hills 90210.
George: Isn't that Missy's show?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm trying to do a better job of picking up on the characters' emotional states. So, for example, this scene seems like it's about expired food, but thanks to the ominous music, I can tell it's about Kelly's eating disorder. Give it a try.
George: Well, let's see. Uh... That one's upset 'cause he's 30 years old and still in high school.
Sheldon: That's what I thought, too, but it turns out his father recently died in a car explosion.
George: Oh. Well, I can see why that would make him sad.
Sheldon: Hold on. [score playing on TV] Sad music, yep. You're good at this.

Mandy: Oh, quick, scratch my nose. [Georgie scratches Mandy's nose for her] Oh, nothing's ever felt better.
Georgie: I'm offended. [Mandy laughs]

Adult Sheldon: My sister was facing the repercussions of her recent joyride by being grounded at home.
[Missy sits down on the couch and turns on the TV]
Mary: [o.s.] No TV!
[Missy sits down in her bedroom and turns on her radio]
Mary: [o.s.] No music!
[Missy is sitting at the kitchen table, reading a magazine]
Mary: No magazines. If you want, you can read a book.
Missy: I'd rather die.

Mandy: Hey, how long have you been here?
Georgie: [chuckles] I just came to check on her before work. She was up and you were snoring like a buzz saw.
Mandy: I do not snore.
Georgie: Okay.
Meemaw: Be nice.
Georgie: You didn't hear it?
Meemaw: I didn't say that. I said, "Be nice."

Mandy: Good morning, CeeCee.
Georgie: [chuckles] She's fed, she's changed and we got through the first two verses of "Deep in the Heart of Texas."
Mandy: Did you tell her about the claps?
Georgie: Of course.
Mandy: Good.

Georgie: It ain't a big deal.
Meemaw: What do you mean, it's not a big deal? You're gonna be 18. You can legally buy me cigarettes.
Mandy: And CeeCee's excited her dad's gonna be an actual adult and she doesn't have to change the subject every time his age comes up.
Georgie: If I wasn't mature, that'd probably hurt my feelings. And you don't have to get me anything. She's enough.
Mandy: Glad you like her. I didn't save the receipt.

Mandy: You miss being 18?
Meemaw: No, pretty happy where I am right now.
Mandy: Yeah, me, too.
Meemaw: I'm lying.
Mandy: Yeah, me, too.