Nell Cavanaugh: Thank you, Ms. MacElroy, Principal Petersen, our hard-working teachers, and my fellow students. I'm blessed to call so many of you friends. Y'all probably know everything about me already. Lord knows I love to talk. So instead of going on about myself, I'd like to talk to you about my opponent. Sheldon Cooper has been lobbying for new science equipment here at Medford High, and while that sounds wonderful, the truth is, he thinks our school wastes its money on football. Do we really want a class president who doesn't care about football? No! I know I am proud to be a Medford High cheerleader, and I love football! But you know the one thing I love more than football? God. Let me tell you another interesting fact about my opponent. Did you know that Sheldon Cooper is an atheist? That's right. He doesn't believe in God. Just keep that in mind when you cast your vote today. I'm Nell Cavanaugh. Go Wolves!

Sheldon: Mr. Givens, I just wanted you to know that I'm still working hard on my campaign to get more funding for the science department.
Mr. Givens: Oh, great, 'cause I've got to dig up tomorrow's worms myself.

Adult Sheldon: Not all science is created equal. There's physics, the undisputed king of science.
There's chemistry. It's no physics, but it's not a bad way to pass a rainy afternoon. And then there's biology, the squishiest of the sciences.

Principal Petersen: [screams]
Sheldon: [screams]
Principal Petersen: What are you doing, standing there?
Sheldon: I wrote a formal complaint letter to the school board on how much money is spent on football. I was hoping you could deliver it to them.
Principal Petersen: You do realize your father's a coach here.
Sheldon: Yes, sir, I do.
Principal Petersen: Maybe you ought to talk to him about this first.
Sheldon: I did. He didn't care for the idea at all.
Principal Petersen: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: There I go what?
Principal Petersen: Let me see that. "Barbaric sport encourages bloodlust similar to Roman gladiator games Christians, lions money better spent on science and learning." You're joking, right?
Sheldon: Did you see the word "bazinga" anywhere in that letter?
Principal Petersen: Out.