Dr. John Sturgis: What were you thinking, letting me take care of a child? I won't make that mistake again. Do I look like Mary Poppins?

Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that there's a type of vanilla flavoring derived from the anal glands of the North American beaver?
Meemaw: That seems like a fact you could have shared before we started eating.
Dr. John Sturgis: It isn't used very often. I understand it's difficult to, uh, milk the little sacs.
Meemaw: Cool. Okay, new topic.

Dr. John Sturgis: See, this is why we're great together. You teach me about social etiquette, and I teach you about beaver anuses.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] It is magical.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know "ani" is also acceptable as the plural of "anus"?
Meemaw: And the magic continues.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my little vicuña.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Well, hello to you, too. And more importantly, what is a vicuña?
Dr. John Sturgis: Only what I feel is the cutest camelid on the planet.
Meemaw: Well, I suppose I could ask you what a camelid is, but you're just gonna say more words that I don't know.

Sheldon: I think you tripped and hit your head.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm a bit woozy.
Sheldon: I better test for concussion. What's your name?
Dr. John Sturgis: John Burgess Sturgis.
Sheldon: Burgess Sturgis? Great name.
Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you.

Mary: Remember, it's a school night, so his bedtime is 7:30.
Dr. John Sturgis: Mine, too!

Sheldon: Do you believe there's intelligent life in the universe?
Dr. John Sturgis: I have no doubt.
Sheldon: Why is that?
Dr. John Sturgis: The Drake Equation claims that there are at least 20 detectable civilizations in our Milky Way galaxy alone.
Sheldon: Interesting. My sister likes to say that I'm an alien.
Dr. John Sturgis: I've often been called that. Once by the praying mantis in my dream.
Sheldon: Maybe we are aliens.
Dr. John Sturgis: Perhaps. Or maybe people like you and me were the original inhabitants of Earth, and everyone else is from outer space.
Sheldon: Ooh, I like that better.