Meemaw: Honey, Channel 7 is not coming.
Anchor: [HORN HONKS] You Sheldon Cooper?
Sheldon: Yes, ma'am.
Meemaw: You got to be kidding me.
Sheldon: How's my hair look?

Sheldon: No, we have to wait for Channel 7 news.
Meemaw: Channel 7?
Sheldon: Yes. I called them this morning and told them there was a human interest story at the supermarket.
Meemaw: What story?
Sheldon: Classic Americana. Little guy versus corporate greed.

Meemaw: How many is that?
Sheldon: 13.
Meemaw: A baker's dozen. What do you say we pack up and head outta here?

George Sr.: Who you talking to? That Veronica girl?
George Jr.: Yeah.
George Sr.: What's going on with that?
George Jr.: Nothing. We're just friends.
George Sr.: Okay. You ever want to run any of this stuff by me, I'm here for you.
George Jr.: Why would I want to run it by you?
George Sr.: Well, I was once a 15-year-old boy. I know what it's like to have strong feelings for a girl.
George Jr.: Gross. I'm not gonna talk to you about this.
George Sr.: I-I saw that kid on Who's the Boss talk to Tony Danza about his problems.
George Jr.: They're not related. This is totally different.
George Sr.: Damn it, Georgie, you could flush once in a while.

Mr. Givens: All right. Well, I'll see you on Monday.
Sheldon: Wait. Would you like to sign my petition against Happy Hearth Home Bakeries?
Mr. Givens: Well, what have they done?
Sheldon: They're making their bread faster and cheaper to save money.
Mr. Givens: That's terrible.
Sheldon: It is. Would you like to sign?
Mr. Givens: I would.
Sheldon: Excellent.
Mr. Givens: I'll get you on the way out.
Sheldon: Thank you. Well, that's one.
Meemaw: Yeah.

Sheldon: Mr. Givens!
Mr. Givens: [SIGHS] Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Meemaw, this is my science teacher, Mr. Givens.
Meemaw: Nice to meet ya.
Mr. Givens: Hi.
Sheldon: This is strange, I never think of you as existing outside of school.
Mr. Givens: Well, it turns out I do.
Sheldon: And you're here buying food.
Mr. Givens: I am.
Sheldon: Fascinating.

Meemaw: I hate to say it. But everybody's way out is at the other set of doors.
Sheldon: I have noticed. Why do you think that is?
Meemaw: Cowards. The whole bunch of 'em.

Veronica: I thought Dustin was different. I thought he wanted to live a Christian life like me. But all he wanted is what every guy wants.
George Jr.: [SCOFFS] Guys.
Veronica: Oh, please, you're all the same.
George Jr.: Hey. You rejected me, you punched me in the face, and I'm still here. Happy eating waffles with you.
Veronica: Georgie, do you really think you're capable of just being my friend?
George Jr.: That's a good question. My brain says yes.
Veronica: What about the rest of you?
George Jr.: Honestly, I wouldn't trust it.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, Pete. You were saying?
Pete: Any chance your bread was past the expiration date?
Sheldon: No, it was brand-new. But I did a taste comparison after it was bought out by the Domestic Food Corporation, and they are definitely not the same.
Pete: Well, I can assure you that, "the recent acquisition by the Domestic Food Corporation has not affected the quality of our products in any way. Every single bread, baked good, and pastry is made with love. From our hearth to your home."
Sheldon: Then why does it taste different, Pete? Why?
Pete: Well, because now we make everything really cheap and fast. Bye.

Mary: Sheldon, hang up the phone. It's dinner time.
Sheldon: Be right there, Mom.I'm do ing battle with corporate America.

Pete: Happy Hearth Home Bakeries, this is Pete. How can I help you?
Sheldon: Hello, Pete. My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I would like to know what changed in your white sandwich loaf to make it taste different?

Sheldon: Excuse me, sir. Has anything changed with the bread from the Happy Hearth Home Bakeries?
Jared: I have no idea.
Sheldon: How can you not know? You work here.
Jared: What do you want from me? I get $3.35 an hour to stock shelves.
Tam: Are you kidding? My father pays me five dollars a week. I bet they're violating child labor laws.

Tam: Look at these prices. No wonder supermarkets are running my parents out of business.
Sheldon: Your parents own a convenience store. They charge extra for the convenience.
Tam: How is this not convenient?

George Jr.: Hi. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat at the Waffle House? Not like a date. But as someone who recently had his heart broke, I think I could help.
Veronica: Who broke your heart?
George Jr.: You did.
Veronica: Oh. Yeah.
George Jr.: I'm just saying, I know what you're going through. So if you need a friend with a pocket full of waffle money.

Sheldon: She wasn't wrong. Studies do support that your sense of taste changes over time.
Tam: So the bread's the same and you're different?
Sheldon: Apparently so. Nope, it's the bread.

Mary: Shelly, it's probably just your taste buds changing as you get older.
Sheldon: But I don't like change.
Missy: Then you're gonna hate puberty.

Mary: Your sandwich is exactly the same, Sheldon.
George Sr.: What's going on?
Sheldon: This bread is different.
George Sr.: Let me see. You know, he might be right. [Mary hits George] Ow.

Mary: Missy, did your sandwich taste different today?
Missy: Couldn't tell you. I traded it for a Ding Dong.

Mary: See? Happy Hearth Home Bakeries, just like always.
Sheldon: Well, something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Mary: What?
Sheldon: That's Shakespeare, Mom.
Mary: Great.

Veronica: Dustin broke up with me.
George Jr.: What?
Veronica: He said I was immature.
George Jr.: Is he crazy? Everything about you screams womanhood.