Sheldon: [on the phone] This is getting serious. They're playing hardball. And hardball is just one more type of ball I'm bad at.
Gary: Okay, just calm down. I'm sure I can find us a used mainframe.
Sheldon: Where? How? From whom?
Gary: I don't know, but Jupiter just entered Sagittarius, so I have a good feeling.
Sheldon: You're not filling me with confidence, Gary.
Gary: Ah, teenagers. Always so angsty. I love it.

Sheldon: So the data comes in here, and then it's divided into three tables that I'm calling X-sub-1, X-sub-2, X-sub-3.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good, good. And then over here, it's subjected to data normalization, so we don't end up with any duplicate data fields.
Gary: [over conference phone] I've got it. Grant Daddy.
Dr. John Sturgis: What?
Gary: The name of our company: Grant Daddy. I mean, it's sexy and sophisticated, but still John Q. Lunchpail can wrap his arms around it.
Dr. John Sturgis: Where are you?
Gary: Oh, you know, my lawyers have advised me not to say, but I'm pretty sure I'll be allowed back in the country very soon. Taxes, am I right?
Dr. John Sturgis: Huh.

Gary: [on phone] [old woman's voice] Hello, Mr. O'Brien's office.
Dr. John Sturgis: Is Mr. O'Brien there? It's John Sturgis and Sheldon Cooper.
Gary: [normal voice] Oh, it's me. I was just making sure you weren't the IRS.

Gary: [on phone] Well, there's nothing wrong with a little competition. I mean, you think I was the only person designing anti-static lab furniture?
Sheldon: You weren't?
Gary: No. I researched the competition, outbid their manufacturers and tied them up in court so long they ran out of money.
Dr. John Sturgis: That seems a little ruthless.
Gary: Hey, if you're not ruthless, you're toothless.
Sheldon: I like that.
Gary: [chuckles] I know. It rhymes.

Mary: [sighs] Well, I can take off work and look after y'all.
Meemaw: We're fine.
Mary: Fine? You're on the floor. What happens if you need to use the bathroom?
Meemaw: Depends.
Mary: Depends on what?
Meemaw: [chuckles] No, it's a joke.
Mandy: [laughs] I got it. [both laughing]
Mary: What's the joke? Tell me.

Meemaw: Let me lay here for just a minute.
Mandy: Can I get you some ice or something?
Meemaw: No, no, no. You've got to stay in bed. [exhales]
Mandy: Okay. Well, you look like the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady.
Meemaw: That's because I have fallen and I can't get up. [laughs] Okay, it hurts when I laugh. [laughing]

George Jr.: Oh, that there's a real good one. You should get it. I'll ring it up.
Robert: I don't know.
George Jr.: Don't know? Whoopi Goldberg as a singing nun? What's there to think about?
Robert: I might be more in the mood for action.
George Jr.: She's on the run from the mob. You'll love it. I'll ring it up.