Missy: What's up?
Coach Wilkins: Watching the game with your dad.
Missy: Where is he?
Coach Wilkins: Getting yelled at by your mom.
Missy: Cool. [sits down]

Missy: What do you think?
Meemaw: I think you're gonna be a little heartbreaker.
Missy: I don't want to break anyone's heart. I just want to look hot.
Meemaw: Well, that you do.
Missy: Thank you.

Mary: Sheldon, good news. Dr. Linkletter was calling to say that while you're at school, if you need anything, you can go to him.
Missy: Starting college and you need a babysitter. That's funny.
Sheldon: I don't need a babysitter.
Mary: Dr. Linkletter is just around in case there's a problem.
George Jr.: Like if he needs a new diaper?
Missy: Ha!
George Sr.: Enough.
Mary: Can we please have a nice dinner?
Missy: We could. But you're the one who wants to eat as a family.
George Sr.: [to Mary] Don't pray for any of 'em.

Missy: Ooh, maybe you have a crush on her.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Missy: I don't know.
Sheldon: I don't.
Missy: You care what she thinks, you can't stop talking about her.
Sheldon: I don't have a crush on her!
Missy: Are you sure?
Sheldon: I don't know!

Missy: Okay, here we go. "Is it a crush? Take this juicy quiz and find out. Do you think about them when they're not around?"
Sheldon: Lately, yes.
Missy: "Are you jealous when other people give them attention?"
Sheldon: I suppose I am.
Missy: "Do you get nervous when you're around them?"
Sheldon: How could I not? Last time she punched me, in the face.
Missy: That was so great. "Do you talk about them all the time?" That's a big fat yes. "Do you dream about them?"
Sheldon: Oh, dear. Just last night I had a nightmare that she solved the Einstein field equations ahead of me.
Missy: That's five out of five. "You're crushing harder than Zack on Kelly Kapowski."
Sheldon: Uh, what does that mean?
Missy: Trust me, that's a big deal.

Missy: And now I'm gonna need a new notebook, 'cause mine has "Missy and Marcus forever" written all over it. [Sheldon snores]

Missy: Can I talk to you?
George Sr.: Of course. What's up?
Missy: I feel really bad about the other day. I was so mean to you.
George Sr.: Don't worry about it.
Missy: But you were just trying to help and then I yelled at you and then you had a heart attack.
George Sr.: [stammers] That had nothing to do with you.
Missy: [crying] We don't know that.
George Sr.: Hey. Hey-hey. Come here. [Missy sniffles] [George chuckles and sighs]
Missy: I'm so sorry.
George Sr.: Shh. [Missy sniffles]

George Sr.: How you doing?
Missy: Fine.
George Sr.: Things okay at school?
Missy: Why? So you can go tell your friends?
George Sr.: [sighs] I just want to know how you're doing.
Missy: Let's see. Billy feels bad. I feel bad for turning him down. Everything's awkward and terrible now. Does that answer your question?

Mary: My little angel.
[dream sequence:]
Pastor Jeff: Do you, Pastor Rob, take Melissa Cooper to be your wife?
Pastor Rob: Heck yeah.
Pastor Jeff: And do you, Melissa Cooper, take Pastor Rob to be your husband?
Missy: I totally do.
Pastor Rob: I hereby pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Youth Pastor Rob. You may now take the bride to Six Flags.
Missy and Rob: Yay!

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Paige: We're tying Georgie's ankles together.
Missy: So when he gets out of bed he falls down.
Sheldon: But he could get hurt.
Missy: If we're lucky.
Sheldon: Well, I will not be a party to this.
Missy: Old man.

Paige: Sheldon, it's just a fun scary story.
Sheldon: It's nonsense is what it is.
Missy: Old man.
Sheldon: I'm not an old man, I'm ten.
Missy: More like 110.

Missy: Hey, Georgie, breakfast. Mom made Eggos.
George Jr.: Eggos, sweet. [BODY THUDS] Ow! Dang it!
[PAIGE AND MISSY LAUGH]

Missy: Weird. You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry.

Missy: [to Sheldon] Welcome to the dark side.

Paige: Hi, Missy. Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: What did you do to your hair? Is this because your parents got divorced?
Mary: [sighs]
Missy: Dingus.

Mary: Okay, have a great day. Love you.
Missy: [covers mouth] Love you, too.
Mary: What are you doing?
Missy: I learned it in baseball. When you don't want the other team to see what you're saying.
Mary: It's okay to love your mom.
Missy: At home. Here, you get the hand.

Pastor Rob: So, what's on your mind, Missy?
Missy: Is it okay that I'm wondering if God is real?
Sheldon: I can take this one. Yes.
Pastor Rob: He is absolutely right.
Missy: He is?
Sheldon: I usually am.
Pastor Rob: Can't just believe something because people say it's true. You have to question it. It's kind of like the, uh, the scientific method, right, Sheldon? Did my homework on you, too.
Missy: But what if I decide he's not real?
Pastor Rob: Look, I'm not asking you to believe what I believe. I'm just asking you to think about what you believe. Sounds like you're already doing that.

Sheldon: Did you know Einstein loved playing the violin?
Missy: So?
Sheldon: He believed music helped him formulate his theories.
Missy: So?
Sheldon: Einstein was arguably the greatest scientific mind of the 20th century. If music helped him, maybe it could help me.
Missy: So?

Missy: Does he really think these facts are fun?
Mary: Not now.

Missy: I'd rather have pink hair than together parents.
Paige: I don't blame you.