George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

George Jr.: Mornin'.
Mary: Mornin'.
George Jr.: I slept in the nude last night. Felt every little breeze.
[Sheldon slides his food away]
Mary: Thank you for sharing that.
George Jr.: You're welcome.

George Jr.: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George Sr.: I can't do that.
George Jr.: Why not?
George Sr.: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
George Jr.: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Veronica: I thought Dustin was different. I thought he wanted to live a Christian life like me. But all he wanted is what every guy wants.
George Jr.: [SCOFFS] Guys.
Veronica: Oh, please, you're all the same.
George Jr.: Hey. You rejected me, you punched me in the face, and I'm still here. Happy eating waffles with you.
Veronica: Georgie, do you really think you're capable of just being my friend?
George Jr.: That's a good question. My brain says yes.
Veronica: What about the rest of you?
George Jr.: Honestly, I wouldn't trust it.

George Sr.: Oh.
George Jr.: Oh, what?
George Sr.: You didn't mention she was black.
George Jr.: Was I supposed to?
George Sr.: No, 'course not.
George Jr.: Then why bring it up?
George Sr.: It just wasn't what I was expecting.
George Jr.: What were you expecting?
George Sr.: It's a big school. Why are you right here?
George Jr.: They've got some books in there about Martin Luther King. Maybe you should go read one.

George Jr.: And I wasn't eavesdropping.
George Sr.: Don't worry about it.
George Jr.: I just don't see why I got grounded.
George Sr.: What are you complaining about? You didn't want to go to church picnic anyway.
George Jr.: I like complaining. I'm good at it.

George Jr.: Are you dyin'?
Meemaw: We're all dyin', honey. From the second we're born, it's just a slip and slide into the darkness.
George Jr.: Unless you get bit by a vampire.
Meemaw: Well, now that goes without saying.

George Jr.: Fourth down.
George Sr.: Gotta punt.
Missy: Gotta.
Sheldon: Statistically, always punting on fourth down makes no sense.
George Jr.: Statistically, you're a dumbass.

Mary: And you. Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking?
George Jr.: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

Mary: Wait, Georgie. Where's your bag?
George Jr.: Don't need one. Got my toothbrush right here.
Mary: What about clothes? A change of underwear?
George Jr.: Got it.
Mary: Georgie, you're gonna be gone for two days.
George Jr.: I'll turn them inside out.

Pastor Jeff: And I also want to welcome George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
George Jr.: Howdy. Praise Jesus.

Meemaw: What's all this about choking?
George Jr.: Sheldon almost died this morning.
Meemaw: What?!
George Jr.: Oh, yeah. Dad was shaking him upside down like a ketchup bottle.
Missy: It was great.

Dr. Hodges: Now, what I thought would be fun to talk about today is what NASA's planning on doing beyond the Space Shuttle. Things like the first manned mission to Mars. Uh, yeah?
George Jr.: Did you see the movie Aliens?
Dr. Hodges: I did.
George Jr.: Did you think it was cool?
Dr. Hodges: Uh, sure, I enjoyed it.
George Jr.: Me, too.
Dr. Hodges: Football player, right?
George Jr.: Yes, sir.

George Jr.: How come when I'm sick it's no big deal, but when Sheldon gets sick you act like it's the end of the world?
Mary: Because he's a fragile little boy and you're gettin' to be a big, strong man.
George Jr.: That's true. Puberty has done right by me.

Vanessa: Where's your brother?
George Jr.: Home.
Vanessa: Is he okay?
George Jr.: Yeah, he's just- Actually, it's not looking good for him. He might not make it.
Vanessa: Oh, that's terrible.
George Jr.: I know. I love him so much. If anything ever happened, I don't know what I'd do.
Vanessa: Aw. [reaches out and holds Georgie's hand, Georgie smiles]

Missy: Do you believe in God?
George Jr.: Yeah.
Missy: But in the Bible, he does all kinds of mean stuff. If he's good, why would he do that?
George Jr.: Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. Hulk Hogan's nice, but in the ring, he will mess you up.
Missy: That's either really smart or really stupid.
George Jr.: That's what I do.
Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up?
George Jr.: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.
Missy: But how do you know there's a God?
George Jr.: See that girl dancing in them shorts? There's a God.

Mary: Okay, here's what's gonna happen: you and you are staying at her house until I say otherwise.
George Jr.: One could argue I was the hero in this story.
Mary: You went gambling and you drove without a license and you lied to my face.
George Jr.: Heroically.

George Jr.: You sure you want to be seen with me?
Veronica: Oh, please. You're not a commie.
George Jr.: Everyone else seems to think I am.
Veronica: Do you even know what a communist is?
George Jr.: Yeah. It's the big blond guy Rocky fights in Rocky IV. And he also fights them when he's Rambo.
Veronica: [CHUCKLES] That's it?
George Jr.: Well, I know in every movie it looks like the commies are gonna win, but they don't. You ever seen any Rocky movies?
Veronica: Um, I saw Rocky II.
George Jr.: That's the second one.