Sheldon: Okay. Each player alternates naming a state while Hula-Hooping. The first player who can't name a state or drops the Hula-Hoop loses. Ready, set, go.
Missy: Texas.
Sheldon: Darn it.
Missy: So I won?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Good. 'Cause I was just gonna say "Texas" again.

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Missy: Tell you what, Jody. Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, and see how much is in his wallet? Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God.

Mary: When I'm feeling down, do you know what I do?
All: Pray.
Mary: It works. In fact, I'm gonna pray for you tonight.
Missy: Everybody prays to God at night. Do it now while he's got some free time.

Meemaw: So what-what-what's his name?
Missy: Marcus Adam Larson, he's 11 and a half, he has blond hair, his favorite color's green and he's learning how to skateboard, but he's not very good yet.
Meemaw: Okay, well, I have to ask, now... at your age, having a boyfriend, what does that mean? Do you, uh... go out on dates?
Missy: No.
Meemaw: Um... well, d-do you hold hands?
Missy: I wish, but no.
Meemaw: So how do you know he's your boyfriend?
Missy: Because this happened. [hands Meemaw a "check yes or no" paper]
Meemaw: Wow. I didn't realize you had documentation.
Missy: I know.

Missy: Why do we need the camera?
Sheldon: So people in the future can see your transformation. Where are you going?
Missy: To put on a dress for the future people.

Missy: You awake?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Are you gonna miss me?
Sheldon: I haven't given it any thought.
Missy: Well, we're just lying here. Think about it.
Sheldon: I am used to you.
Missy: I'm used to you, too.
Sheldon: It's not the same as liking you.
Missy: No.
Sheldon: To me, you're like string beans. No one asks for them, no one wonders about them. They're just there on the plate.
Missy: But you eat them, right?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: You're gonna miss me.

Mary: Shelly, remember when you thought you had leprosy, and it was just a patch of dry skin?
George Sr.: And when you thought you had gout? Or an enlarged prostate?
Mary: Or mad cow?
Missy: That was my favorite.

Mary: Mornin'.
Missy: Did you check on Ms. Hutchins? Is she still alive?
Mary: Of course she is. Why?
Missy: No reason.

Mary: Missy, did your sandwich taste different today?
Missy: Couldn't tell you. I traded it for a Ding Dong.

Missy: Whoa.
Sheldon: What's that?
Missy: It's a ghost detector that came in my cereal box.
Sheldon: It's just a piece of paper.
Missy: Then why did it move in my hand?
Sheldon: From perspiration.
Missy: Or ghosts.

[Sheldon sits on the top of the couch with his feet on the cushion]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm practicing the philosophy of cynicism... The ancient Greek view that the rules of society should be ignored.
Missy: If you're gonna break rules, you can do better than that.
Sheldon: How?
[Missy pushes Sheldon off the couch]

George Jr.: I'll get it! [answering the phone suavely] Hello, Georgie speaking.
Missy: Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?

George Sr.: All right, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
Missy: I thought one of the players was a safety.
George Sr.: Well, that's true, too.
Missy: I'm confused.
George Sr.: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Missy: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.

Missy: And then Heather B said she didn't want to play tetherball with Heather M anymore.
George Sr.: Wait. Th-There's two Heathers?
Missy: Oh, yeah.
George Sr.: Which one's which?
Missy: Heather B is stuck up. Heather M used to be stuck up, but then she got a scoliosis brace.
George Sr.: Maybe she shouldn't be playing tetherball.
Missy: That's what Heather B said.

George Sr.: Well, look at that, there's boobies on my TV.
Missy: Ooh!
George Sr.: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling Mom!

Mary: Something wrong?
Missy: How come math is easy for Sheldon and hard for me?
Mary: I don't know, honey, but you have your own gifts.
Missy: Like what?
Mary: Well, like you have very pretty hair.
Missy: True.

Missy: He held my hand!
Meemaw: High five!
Missy: Don't touch it!

Sheldon: Do you have evil thoughts?
Missy: I'm having one right now.
Sheldon: Really? What is it?
Missy: When we get home, I'm gonna kick your little balls.
Sheldon: You can't. They haven't descended yet.

Sheldon: Is it working? Are you feeling motivated?
Missy: Very. [Missy punches Sheldon in the face]